tdiu Just A Vent

[dav_marine72]

Sorry for posting this here but it seems the majority of people are in this area. I just needed to let this out after finding out about my TDIU this week.

Hadit Members, Americans, and Fat Cat Politicians,

I cried this week more than I have in the last 2 years. I cried everyday for the last two years. I received TDIU P&T from the Veterans Administration this week after being embarrassed and denied by the Social Security (SS) administration. I guess I shouldn't be so mad at SS they have only caused me stress for six months. The VA has stressed me out for 14 years. It is hard enough for a Marine to break down and cry because the pain is so bad, but the mental stress is what puts you a step away from suicide. Whatever the condition is does not matter when it takes your whole life away from you and you become some kind of angry, depressed monster walking around in your old body. As if this wasn't bad enough you have to face the fact you can't pick your kids up. They were 1,2 and now 3 and 4. I can't pick them up because the pain is so severe that it makes me want to puke. I can't go a day without having multiple panics attacks where I feel like I am going to die.

Thank you BVA for denying all my claims in March 2008. My family has gone through hell the last year and a half since you lost my evidence. Thank you RO for lying to my face at my hearing and then sticking it to me behind my back in your decision. I'm 37 and the last normal day I had was when I was 23. 24 years old and your life is gone. You turn to drugs, alcohol, anything to kill the pain, the guilt, the embarrassment, the anger. I loved hearing people tell me I didn't rate VA disability pay because I was working. Yes working and then coming home and taking my day out on my family or worse yet disappearing to the bedroom because you cant sit. This country has let me down. I can't believe I actually thought joining the Marines was patriotic and I was serving my country. Serving for what? So my family and I could be treated like this? So all these people writing on these forums could be treated like this?

Now I get TDIU and it's all okay. No its not okay. You broke me and you can never take that back. Yet all I see on the TV is talk about socialism and health care, etc. How about the Veterans? I promise you VA; I will make you do your job effectively by helping any Veteran that asks me help them. I will continue to protest and fight the government until my ashes are spread out over a peaceful lake that has no agenda, no politics, no greed, no BS.

[dav_marine72]

Hi Everyone,

I probably will consult a vocational specialist just to close the deal. I want to see the award letter first LOL. It should be here early this week. It sounded like a solid award. I was actually in shock at what I was hearing. Some of the summary or whatever the SOs get to look at said Convalescent leave from March 2009 - July 2009 with SMC S1

TDIU from May 2009 - on , this award is permanent and total based on the fact that the Veteran can never work again and his spouse cannot work either because she has to stay home and take care of the Veteran and their small children.

It had some other stuff I already knew about:

My civilian psychologist saying I couldn't work.

My VA psychiatrist said I couldn't work.

The VA psychologist examiner said he didn't think my mental condition (50%) alone was enough to render me unemployable but when combined with my back (50%) I suffered from severe significant disability picture.

My chiropractor / licensed physical therapist did a low level orthopedic and neurological back and leg exam which showed the muscles in my legs were unsymmetrical at four major muscle groups due to muscle wasting and atrophy caused by my severe L3-S1 disc issues, even after fusing (3-12-09) L3-S1 with titanium cages, rods and screws I see the patient as needing 2-3 years of intensive physical therapy before being able to tell if the surgery has helped the patient at all.

My surgeon wrote I could only stand, sit, and or walk for 20 minutes in an 8 hour day, I could not lift anything because of my cain, prescribed me a cain for instability in both lower extremities, said I couldn't leave the house without assistance, I couldn't drive, I couldn't take public transportation. He said this would last for 1-2 years. They also recommended a spinal stimulator because I am at 6 months and the pain, numbness, and instability is worse now than before surgery.

I failed water physical therapy and was not allowed to move on to the land program after my surgery.

So lets see what the exact wording and award is and then we'll see what is needed. I only like sure bets, that's why dealing with this stuff is so stressful!

[Jayg]

Did i say i wouldn't do it again? If so i must have been lost for a sec. I'm a hard core Marine. 12 years of chronic severe pain does a job on you.

I apparently read that into your statement. My most heartfelt apologies.

As for severe pain, I ain't up to 12 years yet, but chronic pain is the root of my disability too.

[dav_marine72]

Not your fault Jay. I did enjoy my service time and was proud to me a Marine most of the time. It's just being unable to work for the rest of my life at 37 after suffering from 12 years of chronic pain is tough to take.

[rdnkjeeper]

I apparently read that into your statement. My most heartfelt apologies.

As for severe pain, I ain't up to 12 years yet, but chronic pain is the root of my disability too.

Chronic pain sucks.....take care everyone!