Help Needed With Major Depression Calim

[Okievet]

Hello, All

I am new to the forum. I am hoping for a little advice from some of you with knowledge on the subject. I seperated from the USAF in 2003 due to depression. I became a police officer on the outside since that's all I had done. In 2005 I was awarded 30% SC for depression. In February of 2011 i was hospitlized for suicidal ideations and lost my ablility to be a police officer and was reassigned. Now I am 50% for Major depression and 70% combined. Things have gotten much worse and I fear I am going to lose my job due to days missed. It is also causing my marriage to fail. I am serverely depressed and in a constant state of panic/anxiety. I would appreciate any guidance i can get on what my next steps should be. I currently do not have any active claims.

Thank you

[carlie]

Welcome,

Others will chime in.

Hang in there.

[justrluk]

First, call your provider. Tell him/her what's going on. If they can't talk to you over the phone, "walk-in" at your nearest clinic/VAMC. They MUST see you, even though it may take a while for them to get to you. See a psychiatrist. Explain your symptoms in detail and DON'T BE SHY. Are you open to a week of in-patient to get yourself stable? Be open to what the doctor wants you to do. You can get control of this, but you have to be willing to do the work (internal as well as external). Have you discussed with your spouse? Be honest - it may save your marriage. If you're worried about work-related issues, let it wait. Please don't waste time; do it now. Don't continue to surf looking for a way out of the dark places depression can take you, get help - please! Don't let fear of others finding out about your depression keep you under water.

[Okievet]

I know you are right, JustRLuck. I've just been worried about the financial implications that going inpatient would have on my family. I guess that shouldn't be my biggest worry now. I'm probably going to lose my job anyway. I still havn't come to terms with not being a Police Officer yet. A few days on the ward would probably benefit me (and my family). I guess i have a desicion to make.

[USMC5811]

Okievet I agree with justrluk, please follow his advice I was also a MWD handler/military police in the Corps and did the same in the civilian world when I got out until I could no longer handle the depression and other MH conditions I had which also started in the military. I sought help when I hit rock bottom, almost losing everything and everyone I loved. Seeking help was the best thing I ever did for myself and those that I care about and care for me- I'm still here fighting the fight and they are still here with me. I've actually learned to enjoy life again. It was hard not being able to work directly in Law Enforcement anymore because that was my life, even harder to admit that one needs help, but because I got help .....I've found a way to contribute to LEO's and Vet's in training service dogs...I would have never had this opportunity had I not sought help. Please go get help....it's time to serve, honor and protect yourself.

Edited August 9, 2012 by USMC5811

[carlie]

I guess that shouldn't be my biggest worry now. I'm probably going to lose my job anyway.

If you put in for FMLA - they aren't supposed to be able to let you go.

[Ethan'sGrandma]

Does the department offer any type of sick benefits, or do you have any sick leave? Do they offer a disability pension? I know that not all agencies do, but we're not always aware of what could be available. When I became unable to do my job, I was able to go on sick leave for my remaining leave, then went on leave without pay for some time, pending a disability retirement. It is difficult due to finances, but if you feel like you will be losing your job, I hope that you can research whatever may be available through them, also. Meanwhile, some in-depth treatment would be very helpful in getting you that additional help for the depression.