Hi. I'm researching for answers and help so decided to register so I could ask. Not sure where to put it as I have several questions covering several topics here.
My ex was Army, we divorced in 2012. We have a minor child. Once we divorced, he didn't share the details of his military business other than generally. He served for 6 years (2004 to 2010) Iraq, and was being treated in 2008 for a back injury. In 2010 after he was out he went to a VA where we lived, and then relocated in mid 2011 where he'd been treated for PTSD and depression. We had a few conversations about the meds he said they gave him (Prozac being one I recall) that were not helping, didn't like how they affected him and he'd acknowledged requesting a lower dosage next time he went to see his "shrink" (whatever he was actually seeing I don't know). He continued treatment for the duration in that state. For 2012 post divorce, and 2013, he was in and out of treatment for at least the PTSD - we weren't sharing much personal details.
In early 2014, he admitted himself for treatment because he was feeling suicidal. The VA basically let him stay til he "sobered up" and sent him on his way; also at some point he'd been prescribed sertraline and was told to keep taking it. On his way from leaving that VA, he followed through with an attempt but it failed. He drove himself back to the VA and was admitted for about a week, sent to "group therapy" and they added trazodone and hydroxyzine to his cocktail of drugs.
We were in contact from later April through the end of June and there were no reported attempts and while he acknowledged he was still in treatment and felt he was doing better, he never revealed the suicidal behavior or attempt. He again acknowledged having told his 'shrink' that the stuff they were giving him wasn't working, he couldn't feel anything, felt dull all the time, no edge, indifferent and cloudy, confused. I recalled the issue with prozac and suggested he throw them in the toilet and stop taking them but he said he wasn't supposed to just stop...and he "didn't want to shoot up a school or something" by going off them too fast.
He had some serious financial issues in that period of time and in early August began making bizarre, out of character posts on his facebook to mostly strangers, cryptic remarks about ending his life. He'd never been suicidal and certainly wasn't vocal about being a "drama queen" or the like. Meaning, based on who he was and how he was, he'd just as soon shove a fork in his eye than post drama filled attention seeking comments on facebook...yet this is what he did. It was so out of character I couldn't help wonder if someone gained access to his account and posted that nutty stuff.
He'd also made another suicide attempt with the sertraline, baclofen and beer intending to use propane but apparently passed out before he could trigger the propane. He woke up a few hours later - now ridiculously sick - and called 911, and requested to be transferred to the VA. The VA again reduced his attempt to alcohol drama, added eszopiclone and venlafaxine, admitted him to a psych ward for nearly 2 weeks until he wasn't an "imminent threat" to himself, told him to stop drinking and sent him on his way.
A week later he made a final go at it with the propane and took his life.
The only thing in his system aside from the propane had been venlafaxine at 1.2mg/L, and an acknowledgement of the bottle that was emptied but it was not reported as an overdose on that drug.
--------------------
On Oct 1, I went to the local VA in my state and got the VA guy to help me...though I honestly do not know if he actually helped me or not. He had me fill out a slew of paperwork to file for benefits for our son. I know that DIC, survivor pension and accrued benefits were checked. He collected copies of our marriage certificates, divorce papers, birth certificates and several other things, the DD214?, and filed an "EZ" something or another. He breezed through it all before I could really process what all was done. He asked what I wanted to file for and I went the safe route with "everything our son would be eligible for". After spending 2 hours there, he compiled everything and faxed it to somewhere with a cover sheet requesting expedited processing.
In early November, I filed with the SSA for survivor benefits for our son and within a week there was a lump sum and following with a monthly payment at the end of the month which, to be honest, is more insulting than helpful because it's hardly worth the day's pay of whoever processed it. Almost seemed to be mocking his death at all.
I checked the ebenefits site but my ex already had an account. I have no clue how to access it but the VA guy insists that I can access it using the ex's SS# to find out the status of the claim. I've called the 800 number and gotten zero assistance.
In early Jan, some guy called claiming to be from the VA and apologized for the delay, saying that he'd get it in the que for processing and I shouldn't expect to hear anything til March. He said something about the VA making a decision and approving which ever option is higher but since I haven't a clue what he's referring to, I don't know if that's good or bad.
Meanwhile I've had correspondence with a veteran/military lawyer about filing a medical malpractice and a wrongful death lawsuit against the VA and they wanted me to go get and send them his medical records. I sent a request to the VAs in 3 states, received squat for 2 months, and only got one letter they didn't know who I was. In the interim, the lawyer basically bailed out saying *I* never sent them the stuff they wanted. That's because the VA screwed around and didn't even acknowledge it for 2 months...and I still have no medical records to send.
============ QUESTIONS
In any of the above, is it "a given" that he'd officially filed for disability at some point? Is there some way I can find out if he filed, when he filed, and whether or not he'd been approved and or receiving payments?
What is it the VA has to "approve" if our son is eligible as a dependent child under 18, unmarried, and the death was service connected suicide? Or does PTSD and antidepressant murder count?
How long does this take?
In these 3 options I seem to have filed claims for, is disability included in that or do I need to do that too?
As for approving the claim, and payments - I suppose the retroactive or lump sum if any - is it based on when he filed for whatever, when I filed for these death/survivor benefits, or date of his death? Which time frame applies?
Based on the above backstory, is there anything that suggests whether he would've been likely to be approved for disability?
How does one determine whatever his "rating" would be - is there a resource that explains this is in normal people terms?
If any of the VA benefits are approved, is it one or the other, or can it be more/all of those 3 options - and if approved, how would that affect my son's benefits from the SSA?
What's the best route to pursue the malpractice and wrongful death suits? I am somewhat aware of the TORT claim, waiting 6 months, and then filing the suit but isn't there a claim option to pursue first? Pros and cons of that? Is it a good or bad idea to specify his actual "shrinks" prescribing him these drugs or diagnosing him, the ones who downplayed it at the VA in the malpractice lawsuit?
In this sort of situation, would the monetary award include any money he owed in support that was in arrears or that will never be paid up until our child is 18? Or is that not "allowed"?
I'm just trying to make sure I got everything covered because of their obscure deadlines and loopholes.
I'm thoroughly disgusted with the VA for drugging him to the point of suicide and then "thanking" me for his service while simultaneously wrecking my child's life through endless months of run around bs.
I appreciate any guidance and feedback but please, please try to stay on point. I'm in need of specific answers as much as possible.
Question
DelanaM
Hi. I'm researching for answers and help so decided to register so I could ask. Not sure where to put it as I have several questions covering several topics here.
My ex was Army, we divorced in 2012. We have a minor child. Once we divorced, he didn't share the details of his military business other than generally. He served for 6 years (2004 to 2010) Iraq, and was being treated in 2008 for a back injury. In 2010 after he was out he went to a VA where we lived, and then relocated in mid 2011 where he'd been treated for PTSD and depression. We had a few conversations about the meds he said they gave him (Prozac being one I recall) that were not helping, didn't like how they affected him and he'd acknowledged requesting a lower dosage next time he went to see his "shrink" (whatever he was actually seeing I don't know). He continued treatment for the duration in that state. For 2012 post divorce, and 2013, he was in and out of treatment for at least the PTSD - we weren't sharing much personal details.
In early 2014, he admitted himself for treatment because he was feeling suicidal. The VA basically let him stay til he "sobered up" and sent him on his way; also at some point he'd been prescribed sertraline and was told to keep taking it. On his way from leaving that VA, he followed through with an attempt but it failed. He drove himself back to the VA and was admitted for about a week, sent to "group therapy" and they added trazodone and hydroxyzine to his cocktail of drugs.
We were in contact from later April through the end of June and there were no reported attempts and while he acknowledged he was still in treatment and felt he was doing better, he never revealed the suicidal behavior or attempt. He again acknowledged having told his 'shrink' that the stuff they were giving him wasn't working, he couldn't feel anything, felt dull all the time, no edge, indifferent and cloudy, confused. I recalled the issue with prozac and suggested he throw them in the toilet and stop taking them but he said he wasn't supposed to just stop...and he "didn't want to shoot up a school or something" by going off them too fast.
He had some serious financial issues in that period of time and in early August began making bizarre, out of character posts on his facebook to mostly strangers, cryptic remarks about ending his life. He'd never been suicidal and certainly wasn't vocal about being a "drama queen" or the like. Meaning, based on who he was and how he was, he'd just as soon shove a fork in his eye than post drama filled attention seeking comments on facebook...yet this is what he did. It was so out of character I couldn't help wonder if someone gained access to his account and posted that nutty stuff.
He'd also made another suicide attempt with the sertraline, baclofen and beer intending to use propane but apparently passed out before he could trigger the propane. He woke up a few hours later - now ridiculously sick - and called 911, and requested to be transferred to the VA. The VA again reduced his attempt to alcohol drama, added eszopiclone and venlafaxine, admitted him to a psych ward for nearly 2 weeks until he wasn't an "imminent threat" to himself, told him to stop drinking and sent him on his way.
A week later he made a final go at it with the propane and took his life.
The only thing in his system aside from the propane had been venlafaxine at 1.2mg/L, and an acknowledgement of the bottle that was emptied but it was not reported as an overdose on that drug.
--------------------
On Oct 1, I went to the local VA in my state and got the VA guy to help me...though I honestly do not know if he actually helped me or not. He had me fill out a slew of paperwork to file for benefits for our son. I know that DIC, survivor pension and accrued benefits were checked. He collected copies of our marriage certificates, divorce papers, birth certificates and several other things, the DD214?, and filed an "EZ" something or another. He breezed through it all before I could really process what all was done. He asked what I wanted to file for and I went the safe route with "everything our son would be eligible for". After spending 2 hours there, he compiled everything and faxed it to somewhere with a cover sheet requesting expedited processing.
In early November, I filed with the SSA for survivor benefits for our son and within a week there was a lump sum and following with a monthly payment at the end of the month which, to be honest, is more insulting than helpful because it's hardly worth the day's pay of whoever processed it. Almost seemed to be mocking his death at all.
I checked the ebenefits site but my ex already had an account. I have no clue how to access it but the VA guy insists that I can access it using the ex's SS# to find out the status of the claim. I've called the 800 number and gotten zero assistance.
In early Jan, some guy called claiming to be from the VA and apologized for the delay, saying that he'd get it in the que for processing and I shouldn't expect to hear anything til March. He said something about the VA making a decision and approving which ever option is higher but since I haven't a clue what he's referring to, I don't know if that's good or bad.
Meanwhile I've had correspondence with a veteran/military lawyer about filing a medical malpractice and a wrongful death lawsuit against the VA and they wanted me to go get and send them his medical records. I sent a request to the VAs in 3 states, received squat for 2 months, and only got one letter they didn't know who I was. In the interim, the lawyer basically bailed out saying *I* never sent them the stuff they wanted. That's because the VA screwed around and didn't even acknowledge it for 2 months...and I still have no medical records to send.
============ QUESTIONS
In any of the above, is it "a given" that he'd officially filed for disability at some point? Is there some way I can find out if he filed, when he filed, and whether or not he'd been approved and or receiving payments?
What is it the VA has to "approve" if our son is eligible as a dependent child under 18, unmarried, and the death was service connected suicide? Or does PTSD and antidepressant murder count?
How long does this take?
In these 3 options I seem to have filed claims for, is disability included in that or do I need to do that too?
As for approving the claim, and payments - I suppose the retroactive or lump sum if any - is it based on when he filed for whatever, when I filed for these death/survivor benefits, or date of his death? Which time frame applies?
Based on the above backstory, is there anything that suggests whether he would've been likely to be approved for disability?
How does one determine whatever his "rating" would be - is there a resource that explains this is in normal people terms?
If any of the VA benefits are approved, is it one or the other, or can it be more/all of those 3 options - and if approved, how would that affect my son's benefits from the SSA?
What's the best route to pursue the malpractice and wrongful death suits? I am somewhat aware of the TORT claim, waiting 6 months, and then filing the suit but isn't there a claim option to pursue first? Pros and cons of that? Is it a good or bad idea to specify his actual "shrinks" prescribing him these drugs or diagnosing him, the ones who downplayed it at the VA in the malpractice lawsuit?
In this sort of situation, would the monetary award include any money he owed in support that was in arrears or that will never be paid up until our child is 18? Or is that not "allowed"?
I'm just trying to make sure I got everything covered because of their obscure deadlines and loopholes.
I'm thoroughly disgusted with the VA for drugging him to the point of suicide and then "thanking" me for his service while simultaneously wrecking my child's life through endless months of run around bs.
I appreciate any guidance and feedback but please, please try to stay on point. I'm in need of specific answers as much as possible.
Thanks again!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Top Posters For This Question
8
8
5
2
Popular Days
Mar 1
15
Mar 3
6
Mar 2
5
Top Posters For This Question
Berta 8 posts
DelanaM 8 posts
Buck52 5 posts
Philip Rogers 2 posts
Popular Days
Mar 1 2015
15 posts
Mar 3 2015
6 posts
Mar 2 2015
5 posts
Popular Posts
Philip Rogers
DelanaM - you should be eligible, for DIC, if the cause of his death was suicide and his PTSD was the cause of your divorce, which it probably was. Additionally, you should be able to get all of his r
25 answers to this question
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now