ptsd Ptsd Review

[RAKMEDIC3/187]

Hello,

I have just recently stumbled on this site while searching for answers... About 5-6 years ago, I applied for PTSD compensation. I was awarded something like 10% at that time. During my C&P, two things I was told affected the low ball on this. The first being that I was never awarded my CMB, although I should have been more than once. The second was that I was getting good grades in school while working a full time job. The examiner had questioned why I did not even receive a CAB, I am guessing that he did not know that as a medic this was not something I could have earned.

After the time of the Award, I was sent to Walter Reed for a mental health eval, and soon came back to find that I was being booted from the National Guard. My Social worker at the VA gave me a choice of either checking into a mental health clinic or being forced into one. I chose to go on my own... While there I had asked that my rating be increased, and it was soon increased to 50%.

NOW, I have another appointment dated for 29th of June. In the last few years, I went back to school using the VocRehab, and finished my degree in 2014. I am worried that they are going to use that same thinking that there is no way that there is any mental impairment in this individual because he was able to finish school with a GPA of 3.4 while being a father of 2 young kids.

Please if anyone would have any information for me it would be greatly appreciated.

[ArNG11]

Thanks ArNG11,

I have been dealing with this since 2005, and nothing seems to work. I use to be a big gym rat, always in the gym working out it was what I did. Now that does not work, I will go to the gym and belong to a 24hr gym. I will go when there are no people and the first sign of someone coming too close to me there I am usually out the door. I have talked with a few people about this but in the end it kind of makes my situation worse. Especially when I see that these individuals have been dealing with these same problems since 1970s... It has almost been 10 years since I was deployed and in my thinking as to where I should be I shouldn't still be driving like I'm driving down a road filled with IEDs, Sleepless nights, and so on... I understand why I am doing these things, I went through the PTSD program with the VA, they explained it all to me. The only source of relief that I have is to avoid every possible situation that may pop up which leaves me alone.

Finding others that have the feelings that I have does help. Makes me feel less crazy knowing that I am not the only one that is going through this. For a long time that is how I felt, and did not bring it up with anyone because of this. The VA does nothing to help me, I had a good social worker before but they retired from the VA. Now its all drugs and quit drinking... I go long periods without drinking and I do take the medications that they prescribe for a long while until I realize that I am feeling and doing the exact same as I was when I first started on the medications. A few years back they had me on some anxiety medications that did help me, however they were prescribing that I take way too much of it so I started only taking them as needed. When I told the psych about this, they told me that I was abusing the drug and took me off of it saying that I have abusive tendencies... I am unsure how that is abusive when I was only taking them when I had a situation where I could feel myself getting too worked up rather than 2 every 6 hours as they had wanted. Also, I would only take 1 of them rather than 2. It worked, I brought that up during my last session with the psych and she again stated that it is an abusive pattern because the brain begins to make me feel anxious or angry so that I will take the meds and my brain would continue to increase the frequency on these "attacks" so that I would take more and more of the drug. She says the same with alcohol, I can take it or leave it when I drink its because I have been up for 3 days in a row and I just want to be out for a while. So my track record with mental health at the VA is not the best.... I can not continue to go when I am seen for only 15 minutes and that is all that I am told is to not drink or that I'm a drug abuser when that IS NOT THE CASE!!!..

Sorry for going on and on, just a venting session I guess.

Thanks again to everyone for the responses.

Wow, I will count my blessings then, most times for me its been 45-60 minutes. Once a month to about 45 days. I will give you some advice and take it with a grain of salt. You decide what is best for you. Obviously alcohol can and will make matters worse, it's a depressant, and I mean I don't have to tell you, alcohol related injuries, hurting yourself and/or others. Plus the mixture of meds and alcohol will tear your liver and kidneys something fierce. This is just me. I gave up the bottle. It's was hard but do able. Its makes a huge difference to have a good support structure. Try multiple things. Im strong willed but for some people hypnosis can work and help. Meditation is a good avenue to try.

The holding back, I have to agree with the above and the rest of folks don't hold back, let it out. I don't trust the VA at all, maybe as far as I can throw them, but use some of the tools they talk about and build up to where you feel comfortable. Be honest then there is less of a chance of it biting you later. Share what you feel you need to in order to make things easier for you.

Recently my VA provider wrote a positive opinion and notes in my records, changed the diagnosis or rather just reiterated what my private PCP's have diagnosed and observed, because he actually spoke to me and read records. Totally threw me off guard. Of course I kind of had a panic attack and depressive storm right there in his office. It was a very bad day. I'm aware of what triggers me, and makes things worse, what I should do and what I shouldn't do, at times when things are bad you regress and although you know what to do to make things better you lack the conviction, energy, and motivation to do so. Unfortunately I think that is normal. Once you start to understand the triggers and the mechanisms of the condition is makes it somewhat easier to deal with, to live with, and eventually to control the crazy ups and down. Like I said I'm no expert but those of some of the things I have learned. It can't rain all the time sir even though it feels like it. One day at a time. JMHO. Take and use what you can and need.

The VA is all about being skitzo and paranoid about some meds. I was fortunate I guess, I just spoke to my provider and told him what worked, the anxiety medication is just to get you over the hump of sorts, but self talk, breathing techniques and focus exercises are a must for me. I only use the meds when I get bad. I told the doc that, and he gave me the rx medication. He adjusts it as needed and I only use it when I get bad. Of course this is with the purpose of getting off the medication and eventually tapering off. It can be done even with addictive ones like Xanax and Ambien and such. Oh and I told him how long I have had a bottle last me. He verified and well I guess he understood.

Anyways I hope some of this helps. Good luck. You have more control than you realize.

[RAKMEDIC3/187]

Hello Everyone,

I just came back from two C&P exams today. One was the PTSD review and the other was for IBS. Both of these seemed to be a little bit strange. The first was for IBS and took no more than 9 minutes from the time they called my name until I was leaving. The evaluator did ask me about my stomach, when it started all of this and then he told me that it would be service connected... I thought that was a bit strange because they are not the ones that make that decision are they?

The PTSD review was rather quick as well. I think that I was in there for 25 minutes. This guy did not seem to care what I was saying except to answer his questions. The first thing that he asked me was about my drinking, and I told him that yes I do drink. However I drink because of the problems that I am having. He just told me to hold on and we would get back to that, and proceeds to ask me how much I drink and how often... Never again bringing up the why do I drink bit. I was trying to explain to him that I do not drink all the time only when I get really aggravated or pissed off with things, or after I have been up for days at a time to get some time away from my mind.

The he goes into triggers, and all of that and we get around to what I am doing every day which I tell him I work and I go home. The question following this was "Do you have a job?" I thought from the previous statement that I had told him that I do indeed have a job because that's what I do, go to work and go home? Everything that he asked seemed from a script which Im sure it was but he had no care for my answers or was he paying any attention to what I was saying.

At one point I was talking about how I feel bad that I am not doing enough for my kids, because I cant take them out to the things they want. The next question he asked is "Do you have children?" I thought I just told him about my kids?

Is this normal, or is this guy just tired of what he is doing and doesn't care what you are saying as long as it is the answer to what he is asking. Just pushing forward for the next question.