Applying for Bipolar, Depression and Anxiety-Need Help

[JohnnyRain]

Hello, I am new. My name is Johnny. I was discharged from the Army for "patterns of misconduct". I was in the Army in early 90's and went back in in 2007 at the age of 37. My second round in my third year the wheels came off my life. (I had a stellar career in the early 90's and a stellar career up until late 2009) I was asked TOLD I need to apply for alcohol rehab. (As you know if they force you into rehab, it's a game-changer). When I got back I went back to drinking. I got an Article 15 (Captains Mass for Marines and Navy). It was the worst kind a field grade which meant I lost my NCO status. I was suicidal and they put me on the psych ward a couple of times. A month or so later I got another Article 15 for drinking. I had an argument with a lady in the PX while buying alcohol and I had a lot of risky behavior that is all on record. I also went to rehab again. Twice in a few months. My unit put me on suicide watch twice which I had to be watched by an NCO and a lower ranked Soldier 24 hours a day for months at a time. What I didn't know is that I was experiencing mania and depressive cycles. Doctors asked me if I have ever been diagnosed for bipolar and I simply told them that I wasn't. Honestly I didn't really know anything about bipolar. They just took my word for it. I was asked if I was bipolar while I was in the Army and after I got out. I must have been asked over 10 times.

There's a lot of other stuff for the "patterns of misconduct". Not just drinking stuff which now makes sense, since I have very recently accepted I am bipolar 1, which is the worst kind. If it was just the drinking it would have been a different discharge. I wouldn't have gotten an honorable either, which was very close because I had to go to a board to get it. Those were stressful times on my unit. I still feel bad about all of that. I have a lot of guilt. 

Since my discharge I have been to rehab multiple times (I don't know how many). If I take a job and I travel anywhere I will be in a VA Hospital in a matter of weeks. So I have been to 6 VA Hospitals on the psych ward for depression, anxiety and substance abuse. I am depressed and have anxiety. I have had 2 suicide attempts. One attempt was in a VA Hospital about 6 years ago. Another about 3 years ago. I have been homeless twice Hospitalized about 30 or so times due to anxiety and alcohol and drug abuse. I'm pretty much unemployable. I'm going to school on the GI Bill and have a 1.6 gpa. Not that I'm dumb or a bad student I just get hospitalized a lot plus I can't concentrate. It takes me forever to do homework that should only take 1 hour. All of this is provable and on paper except how long it takes me to do homework. I can get letters written by bunches of people if I have to. I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar and the psych doc on the psych doc says he personally saw me experience a manic episode. I can't keep a job or a girlfriend. Getting both is easy. Keeping them are hard. The only friends I have were in the Army with me. I have no new friends. I can't keep them. 

The DAV put the hurry up on paperwork since I'm about to be homeless again. I was getting my apartment for free. All I had to do is report problems about the tenants and pick up trash. Since I go into the hospital a lot they are terminating me and I will be homeless. I can't do a Grant Per Diem because I've already done it 3 times. They only allow you 3 for a lifetime. Grant Per Diem is when they put you in a group home with Veterans. It's sober living. They make you attend AA meetings. They give you room and board up to six months. I've spent all 3 of them in 2 years. 

My question is where do I go from here? I don't want their money. I want fixed. I know you guys aren't doctors so I won't ask you for medical advice. I just want to know what is going to happen if anything. 

Thank you for reading and thanks to all who reply. 

 

[JohnnyRain]

Ok. I'm 2 weeks sober right now and have filed a claim.

My biggest question is, do I need to gather evidence like letters from people in my unit to prove it was later in 2009 that I started showing symptoms of bipolar?

I started having all kinds of issues toward the latter part of 2009 and within months they were chaptering me.