peacecindia

Hi Carlie, Thank you for sorting things out. Reading my own crap isn't easy. Someday, I'll learn to shutup and not talk about it. My VA counselor is a phd and the c&p examiner is a phd. Both are VA psychologists. I think my VA therapist's opinion should trump the c&p examiner's opinion since he saw me one week after my c&p and I went to him because of the c&p exam. [He was my regular therapist for a long time before I decided drugs and counseling won't make anything go away. So I stopped going to counseling.] Anyway, he initiated the conversation about the c&p examiner checking the wrong box in the occupational & social functioning area on the c&p report. If the VA guy had not critiqued the c&p examiner's choices, I'd have to be ok with the c&p evaluation. It's just coincidence that I made an appointment to deal with how I was feeling after the c&p and he created my current conflict about my rating. *Edit: Truthfully, I was not happy with a 50% rating and took my Statement of the Case to my appointment, so I don't know if the therapist agrees I should get a higher rating or if I should really have been rated higher. *Second Edit: Self-blame isn't productive and I just wanted to say that the Statement of the Case letter arrived on t he same day of my appointment. It sucks not knowing if I'm manipulating someone or if they are manipulating me or if I deserve more VA money and more VA benefits. I don't feel entitled and instead feel 'eligible'. Dealing with guilt is not my forte. #1 I'm not on meds, because I deal with my problems by being agoraphobic and never going anywhere. #2 I told the c&p examiner I have a sleeping problem and don't go to bed until 5am sometimes. She said, 'Well, you do go to sleep'. I can't argue with the fact that I sleep, but it's tough dealing with not being able to go to sleep until I'm exhausted and feeling like I didn't get enough sleep. #3 I'm complacent about my life and the people in it. #4 I have no hope and no counseling and no money can change that. What I'm left with is a sense of no hope and a conflict about not being evaluated properly. I need sleep right now and I'm sure my emotions are screwed up because of it. So, please forgive me for that. *My upstairs neighbors were recently arrested for burglary at knifepoint and using stolen credit cards AND the male 'accidentally' walked in my backdoor when someone left the door unlocked. A week before, someone was turning my backdoor knob when I was home alone and I turned into something like an animal...felt strangely calm and prepared. If I could just sleep I'd be so happy. I'll also be happy when the rating conflict is resolved.

Printed out form http://www.va.gov/vaforms/form_detail.asp?FormNo=24-0296 and filled it out and mailed it last night. My direct deposit is also messed up, because I closed my old account which VA had info for and opened another checking account.

Pete: 50% is a good start and like you say, 'my foot is in the door' and I'm thankful for that. I requested that my lawyer add COPD as secondary to PTSD and VA sent a letter to me recently saying I have a new claim, so I'm assuming the lawyer started a new claim on my behalf. 71m10: The C&P examiner said she had to follow a form on her computer. Was it a DBQ? It possibly was. If I didn't have a contract with a lawyer agreeing not to contact VA directly myself, I'd request a new C&P exam and ask if my SSDI is being taken into consideration. I have to have faith that the lawyer knows more about VA regulations than I do and will do what he has to do. He said he'd have to get back to me after I sent him 3 emails as I reacted to my service connection letter and my VA therapist telling me the c&p examiner checked the wrong box. The lawyer responded by asking me what the VA therapist said. Medical copays have been a bane for me and I truly resented VA garnishing my SSDI check for $50.00 each month. It was pretty cool to get $40.00 in travel reimbursement from VA when I had to go to the C&P exam. My daughter was a dependent while she was in school in 2006-2008 and could have qualified for educational benefits then and hopefully will get some benefits if I can get 100% service connection. Berta & John: I will get an IMO (independent medical opinion) if it's necessary. Spending the money for an IMO would be an investment I agree. My Timeline Filed for VA compensation March 7, 2006 Awarded SSDI for PTSD May 30, 2008 (connected back to 2005) I had the c&p exam on Dec 26, 2012 My SSDI check stopped being garnished on Jan. 3, 2013 I got the service connection letter on Jan 17, 2013

I apologize for dramatizing. I'm lying if I say I want to kill the guy who lives with me. In reality, I just wish he'd move out or get his own place and leave me alone. It's an economic decision to live together, but he was homeless not me and yes, we do have some sick dynamics going on. I'm agoraphobic. He uses my vehicle. He lives in my house. He gets his mail here. He has tantrums. He stonewalls emotionally. He makes that look on his face when it comes down to who is 'crazy'. The man has never laid a hand on me. He gaslights instead.

Bronco those are words of wisdom and I said, 'I'm stressed' when the c&p examiner asked me how I am. I don't even wanna think about when I have to ask for an increase and go back to a c&p exam. I'm service connected at 50% according to the letter that came a few days ago. It's a coincidence that I had a mental health appt on the same day as receiving the letter. I took it with me to show the counselor. The VA psychologist looked at the connection letter and also read the c&p report on his computer. He said the c&p examiner got it wrong under the occupational & social area. He said she should have checked another box. So now what do I do? Request another c&p exam? My attorney hasn't received a copy of the c&p exam or the service connection letter. All this happened very fast like within a week and a half. If I get another c&p exam, I will go into detail about my worst days. Thank you Bronco for reading the message through and commenting. It does seem like maybe I want an increase and I guess I do...I'd like to get an increase before VA closes my case like they said they are.

My actual Occupational & Social Functioning: >I did not tell the c&p examiner that I was psycho about my daughter bringing a guy into my house in the night and I felt the only recourse I had was to remove my daughter's bed from her room and put it behind the garage, because she had the attitude she could do whatever she wants to do... >I didn't tell the c&p examiner that I really need sleeping pills, because I live with a guy I don't like so I go to bed at 4-5 am to avoid him and only go to bed when I can't stay awake. >I didn't tell the examiner I hate my neighbors for having a rooster that crows when I'm getting ready for bed and about the camp fires the neighbors have when they smoke their weed outside. The smell of skunk and trash smoke comes in my house and it makes me want to cook the rooster and set fire to my neighbors house. > I don't answer the phone and make sure the doors are locked and windows are too, I'd say I'm pretty damn hypervigilant. Hypervigilance exhausts me. The c&p conversation never went here. >If I told the examiner I feel homicidal when this guy who lives with me sneaks around and puts his arms around my waist as if we are a happy couple and nothing's wrong...I'd probably get a conditional VA check with a fidiciuary. So, the c&p examiner determined that I'm occupationally and socially impaired at the 50% level. My gaf was 46 I think. My VA therapist disagrees with the c&p examiner's determination. It's hard to try to be sane and not seem too suicidal or too homicidal and still avoid someone mistaking you as a troublemaker or a faker at a c&p exam. Now comes the hard part of knowing what to do next...how is my lawyer going to handle my VA therapist saying that the c&p examiner got it wrong.

Thank you NK :)

Thanks Carlie & John for responding and yes both of you are right and on track... My VA therapist I saw today told me the C&P examiner should have checked another box instead of the one she did. (He went through the C&P exam I had in Dec. on his screen and also had my copy of the SSOC I got today in front of him.) Occupational area of functioning was the category. One of the boxes were checked and the therapist told me it was the wrong one. Hopefully, my lawyer will request another DRO review and I'll possibly get a chance to see the VA psychiatrist next time for the next C&P exam. *VA is connecting me back to March 2006. Also, 'Thank you' Hadit members for being here for all these years! I read many other veteran's stories here and knew I wasn't alone in the PTSD boat.

7 years of fighting VA for mst/ptsd comp and they rated me at 50% even though I get SSDI for chronic ptsd and have for the past 8 years. I'm glad to be service connected, but cannot understand why I'm only at 50%? My gaf was 46 according to the c&p examiner.

I used to use VA care a couple of years ago. They attached my SSDI check and take the money out to repay themselves each month. I think some of the meds I took were covered and some were not. Not sure how $8. copays could add up to $800. VA sends me a letter every month reminding me they are taking $50. from my check.

I had no idea I'd be paying VA $50. each month whether I want to or not.

I'm sure someone will come and answer your questions usafs, but I wanted to say I hope you get a new liver ASAP and of course your VA comp fast.

I never thought about that. I could have PTSD because my brother almost drowned when he was 9 years old... Sounds like something a rater might conclude.

>had second thoughts about this post after seeing it on google.

edited after I saw post on Google and decided the info was too specific to my claim.