Guess Sat. Morn Is Treating Me Bad

[gdsnide]

Some days are better than others lol

[tssnave]

Betrayed,

I ache for you, I fear for you.

Like you, my spouse has literally been the only thing that has stood between me and checking out when the darkness has been so vast that I can't see my way out of it any other way.

It takes a great deal of character and committment to stand by someone who's mental illness is so complete sometimes that it overtakes everything there is good and rational there is about a person. I pray for her strength of character to remain true to her marriage vows. For better or worse, in sickness and in health.

The bad thing about a mental illness is it seems more "ok" for a person to leave us crazies than it would be if we had cancer. There's still the cultural impression that we should just "pull ourselves up from our bootstraps," when anyone who's ever struggled with mental illness will tell you is just not possible otherwise we would but the blame the patient mentality is still out there.

The whole VA thing adds so much stress on top of any illness that it strains the best marriages. Like Kris, my spouse and I have had several conversations on whether or not to pursue 70% and IU with the VA because of the stress it puts in our life which in turn makes me more crazy than usual and I don't have a lot of room between my usual crazy and the edge of a cliff. I know 70% is where my symptoms fall out but the whole process of having to prove it has flat worn us both out with doctor visits, the cost, and the emotional toll is tremendous.

I don't really know what else to say. I pray your wife will stay and you guys can work it out.

Hang in there. I hope you guys can work it out.

ts

[gdsnide]

Betrayed,

I ache for you, I fear for you.

Like you, my spouse has literally been the only thing that has stood between me and checking out when the darkness has been so vast that I can't see my way out of it any other way.

It takes a great deal of character and committment to stand by someone who's mental illness is so complete sometimes that it overtakes everything there is good and rational there is about a person. I pray for her strength of character to remain true to her marriage vows. For better or worse, in sickness and in health.

The bad thing about a mental illness is it seems more "ok" for a person to leave us crazies than it would be if we had cancer. There's still the cultural impression that we should just "pull ourselves up from our bootstraps," when anyone who's ever struggled with mental illness will tell you is just not possible otherwise we would but the blame the patient mentality is still out there.

The whole VA thing adds so much stress on top of any illness that it strains the best marriages. Like Kris, my spouse and I have had several conversations on whether or not to pursue 70% and IU with the VA because of the stress it puts in our life which in turn makes me more crazy than usual and I don't have a lot of room between my usual crazy and the edge of a cliff. I know 70% is where my symptoms fall out but the whole process of having to prove it has flat worn us both out with doctor visits, the cost, and the emotional toll is tremendous.

I don't really know what else to say. I pray your wife will stay and you guys can work it out.

Hang in there. I hope you guys can work it out.

ts

I know how everyone is feeling here or think I do....The VA has me on 29 Pills a day & I think that is about 29 to many. But, what is one to do. I get them from a Shrink & Neurologists.....The Neuros always want to change the meds but I have found a combo I can live with or the lesser of two evils.My memory totally sucks. I can't remember from one day to the next. Part of this may be attributed to the Epilepsy I picked up in Japan when 2 SP got pissed at me in a bar & put the job on me big time. My Wife is very supportive but I know I frustrate her by repeating myself all the time. If she asks me to do something I have to do it immediatly or I'll forget.

If one does not take said pills & they do a blood test (Which they are famous for but which I avoid all I can) & if any meds are low they give U more.

My Daughter orders & fills my lil' pill box & my Wife makes sure I take them as I always forget the damn things.

When I went in the Navy I was happy go lucky & when I got out I had Epilepsy & it just kept going down hill from there.

My Shrink says I have " PTSD Chronic & Severe & I put in for it & was denied & just figured I didn't want to go thru the paper maze to try & get what I wanted.

Thanks to "Clark Evans...Lawyer" I was awarded 100 T & P for my Epilepsy which is a big help in the money dept. but I have to live with this every day.

I feel like I'm about 14 as I am not allowed to drive because of the damn seizures. Asking & waiting for rides sucks & I live in an area that has no Bus service but I'd probably get lost anyway as my memory is so bad.

My Shrink always asks if I think of Suicide & I am not going to say "Yes" as I would be locked down & that would be dumb.

But, my Wife has stuck by me since 1965 & if not for her I'm sure I would have checked out of this life long ago as I am not real happy with the situation I find myself in.

Every time I leave home I have to have someone with me to make sure I can get back. I have to get a ride to VA Appts & then I have to have person who gave me a ride sit in with me & the Doc as like I tell the Docs "This person is my memory"

Reason I wrote this is because I wanted U to know I have an idea of what U are going thru & the way the VA treats it's Veterans is deplorable.

I know there are a lot of Vets worse off than me but just figured I'd share part of my story.

Also, with the VA, Don't quit or U lose.

Sincerly,

GARY

[sixthscents]

Most of the time when I go to see my psych, I expect him to break out some chicken bones and lamb entrails....

They practice voodoo, or hoodoo, or whatever, but it sure isnt a medical science (or so it seems to me). My psych push meds now, and most Sociologists push counciling .... and they all push you out the office as fast as they can....

My wife says I do better when I take the meds, so for her sake I do, but honestly I have never noticed any difference, but hey I'm the one thats sick right?

Anyway... just my opinion...

[emmak]

BETRAYED,

LAST WEEK MY HUSBAND HAD A HEARING FOR AN INCREASE FOR PTSD.WE ARE NEW TO THIS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS 66 BUT I LIVED IN FEAR FOR 35 YEARS BECAUSE I DID NOT KNOW WHAT HE WOULD DO IF I MENTIONED VIETNAM.LAST YEAR HE WAS REFUSED PRESCRIPTION DRUG BENEFITS BECAUSE OUR INCOME WAS TO HIGH.HE COULD GET THE 7.00 CO PAY IF WE DIVORCED. THAT WAS THE TURNING POINT FOR ME AND I FIRED OFF AN EMAIL TO OUR STATE REP TAMMY BALDWIN. I WAS TOLD TO TAKE HIM TO THE LOCAL VA REP AND I GOT UP ENOUGH COURAGE TO ASK HIM IF HE WOULD GO.TO MY SURPRISE HE SAID YES.HE WAS AWARDED 50% WE APPEALED. HE WAS AWARDED 70% PTSD AND TDIU TO AWARD HIM 100% LAST WEEK AT THE HEARING. I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL IN HIS APPEAL.HE IS A DECORATED VV AND THE PTSD TAKES HIM DOWN AND ALMOST BREAKS HIM. I DON'T BELIEVE ANY LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WILL GO BY THE WAYSIDE. WE WIVES HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING THAT IS STRONG AND AS I SAID AT THE HEARING,REGARDLESS OF THE PTSD I LOVE HIM AND MOST OF ALL RESPECT HIM. HE IS A GOOD MAN. HANG IN THERE YOU GUYS AND GALS WITH THE HADIT GROUP YOU HAVE SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING WITH A TON OF RESPECT FOR WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH.

[Pete53]

God Bless the Spouses who stand by thier Veterans. I am surprised and marveled that so many do.

[jecsb4]

Kris:

Sorry for you also. Sometimes what we need to do is to step back and head in a different direction. I wish you well.

There is really not a lot of magic in medicine unless you are seeing a witch doctor.

Kris,

You are so right, Iam new to the VA system and now they want me to take 8 different MED. My civilian Dr only gave me 2. We must take control of our own bodies and remember that the VA is trying to MED us to sleep ..