ptsd Ptsd/mst Denial

[lp56]

Thank you in advance for sensitivity to these questions. I entered the army in 1976 and the two years I spent in the military was nothing but sexual harassment, intimidation, sexual battery and even rape. Reporting to my superiors what was happening to me only made it worse; in fact, my superiors were very often the ones coercing, intimidating and assaulting me. It is gut-wrenching to think or speak about all the horrible things that happened to me, but I will say that I was so despondant and desperate to get out of the army and away from all the abuse I was suffering that I actually married the soldier who raped and impregnated me. Suicide and abortion were the alternatives. At the time, I made the only choice I could to survive. While married, my ex did horrible things to my children, which gave me the courage to divorce. I have been diagnosed with PTSD due to MST from several VA doctors and the C&P examiner. I have been in therapy for over 2 years. It took over 30 years to confide in a professional about what happened in the military and although I have documented all the stressors well and have many letters from family and friends and one year of psych records, I have no official police reports or medical evidence except the pregnancy to corroborate my claims. My claim was denied because the examiner said it is "unlikely" anyone would marry the person who raped them. They also said one of my journal entries said I laughed with my ex. They also said my PTSD was more likely due from my daughter being molested, which was not service connected. There was no mention whatsoever of any of the other reported MST I documented in my claim or that were in my psych records and how any of that caused my PTSD.

I plan to file a NOD, but want to make sure I do it correctly. Here are my questions about the NOD. Should I send in any additional information, such as more psych records and letter from pastor who counseled me with the NOD? The psych records document everything if someone would only read them. Should the NOD be a standard letter with the required info or should I address the reasons why they denied me? Should I have lawyer represent me or wait to see if I need to appeal further? I was really expecting a Women Veteran Coordinator to contact me because of the sensitivity of the MST claim, but I was not contacted. I am hoping someone with more experience and sensitivity with MST will review my case. I really appreciate any advice on what to do next. Thank you.

[NSA-Saigon-ET]

Thank you in advance for sensitivity to these questions. I entered the army in 1976 and the two years I spent in the military was nothing but sexual harassment, intimidation, sexual battery and even rape. Reporting to my superiors what was happening to me only made it worse; in fact, my superiors were very often the ones coercing, intimidating and assaulting me. It is gut-wrenching to think or speak about all the horrible things that happened to me, but I will say that I was so despondant and desperate to get out of the army and away from all the abuse I was suffering that I actually married the soldier who raped and impregnated me. Suicide and abortion were the alternatives. At the time, I made the only choice I could to survive. While married, my ex did horrible things to my children, which gave me the courage to divorce. I have been diagnosed with PTSD due to MST from several VA doctors and the C&P examiner. I have been in therapy for over 2 years. It took over 30 years to confide in a professional about what happened in the military and although I have documented all the stressors well and have many letters from family and friends and one year of psych records, I have no official police reports or medical evidence except the pregnancy to corroborate my claims. My claim was denied because the examiner said it is "unlikely" anyone would marry the person who raped them. They also said one of my journal entries said I laughed with my ex. They also said my PTSD was more likely due from my daughter being molested, which was not service connected. There was no mention whatsoever of any of the other reported MST I documented in my claim or that were in my psych records and how any of that caused my PTSD.

I plan to file a NOD, but want to make sure I do it correctly. Here are my questions about the NOD. Should I send in any additional information, such as more psych records and letter from pastor who counseled me with the NOD? The psych records document everything if someone would only read them. Should the NOD be a standard letter with the required info or should I address the reasons why they denied me? Should I have lawyer represent me or wait to see if I need to appeal further? I was really expecting a Women Veteran Coordinator to contact me because of the sensitivity of the MST claim, but I was not contacted. I am hoping someone with more experience and sensitivity with MST will review my case. I really appreciate any advice on what to do next. Thank you.

I have followed this thread and read all the posts to date. At this point although I sympathize with your situation, I do not see you being awarded for a claim of PTSD. There just doesn't seem to be any hard evidence that can be presented in your favor. I am not trying to be mean or insensitive in this matter, but stripping away all the verbiage leaves you with nothing that can be submitted as service connected. I wish I could be more supportive, but do not want to spread false hope in a losing struggle, others may disagree and that is their right.

Good Luck in this !

NSA-Saigon-ET

[Wings]

Thinking out loud here:

Were charges ever brought against the perpetrator [scumbag] for child molestation? Was he brought to justice, go to court? You said he went "underground, so to speak". Wasn't he required by law to pay child support? I know there is a strict statute of limitations on bringing criminal action, have those expired?

If he was brought to court for any reason, you may be able to subpoena (through an attorney or legal aid) past arrrests, police reports, investigations, questioning, court records, etc. Does the VA have the legal authority to request a copy of your ex-husbands' military service records? I would want to know if there were ever charges or complaints from other witnesses.

Hmmmm, I would keep digging, I would appeal and keep working at this claim and keep going to counseling!

VA laws can also change or liberalize in your favor while your appeal is pending. ~Wings

[Wings]

x

x

x

Reading ...

1) THE ARGUMENT FOR LIBERALIZING THE EVIDENTURY BURDEN FOR POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER CLAIMS TRIGGERED BY MILITARY SEXUAL TRAUMA http://disabilityrightsgalaxy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Galaxy-Law-Review-Vol-1-PTSD.pdf

2) When Rape Isn’t Like Combat: The Disparity Between Combat Veterans and Victims of Military Sexual Assault in Seeking Benefits for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder By Ben Kappelman bdkappelman@suffolk.edu

www.ncdsv.org/images/Kappelman_WhenRapeIsntLikeCombat_2010.pdf

[halos2]

WHAT ABOUT YOUR MILITARY RECORDS DOCUMENTATIONS RE: Promotions/reduction;, pay grade deductions and loss of pay with any work problems; any visits to the military dr/hospital stating your pregnancy-term-status when documented pregnancy(single/married); date of marriage; date of delivery/where delivery occurred;any friends that can verify any of these statements/conditions? Check on facebook, classmates,other internet searches(I have found friends from 1967 school-1968-Air Force people and we got back in touch;air force together we served(for you it would be army together we served,all military;there are more out there see if you can find any others.

Also your family members can write letter stating how you changed from a vibrant kind person prior to induction-to when you were discharged and all these years are distant and not caring to family members( like your mom dad sis, bro, cousins) and have avoided contact with them all these years....Ant dt's or professionals you ever told over the yrs to write a letter stating what you told them/approximate dates.

Medications you have ever taken for the symptoms of depressive states you exhibited. Remember you cannot diagnose the condition but a professional can, however you can write some of the symptoms, ie crying, explosive temper, seeks sleeping as a coping mechanism/which exacerbated your sadness, refusal to eat/over eat/ drink alcohol to drown sorrow/never worked and made you ill/throw up and have frequent stomach aches...

These people have to write a statement at the end of their letters with a sworn statement to the effects this is the truth to the best of their knowledge and ability they are giving of their own free will and is the whole truth regarding information they presented. Notarized too.

Get all records from any hospitals, treatment centers. Dr's you ever saw, therapist, free clinics. counselors. friends who can vouch what they witnessed regarding your behavior...your kids can write some too just describing your behavior ie never went to games/plays/concerts/school functions/avoided contact with people/had no friends or stayed out all night neglected to wash their clothes.feed them, get them up for school in time...cried all the time/yelled and screamed all the time/stayed in bed avoided contact...descriptive signs and symptoms they observed...argued with spouse and both were combative or submissive to violence and would receive black eyes/bruises and stayed for the sake of the family unit and felt she had to in order to survive.

You can write, I as a vet felt obligated vet married me, as told I was stupid for getting pregnant...this is nothing against you, but if these things were ever said use it as tools to prove you stayed in a relationship that was volitile, but you felt trapped and had suffered feelings of worthlessness. You have to prove these feelings existed since 76 plus whatever you really did/do feel. I am just giving you examples to use/which may help with your profile statements as a template for you. Did you ever tell a clergy person? They could vouch for you too.

Wings put some excellent info for you to reference to. The syndrome stuff really may hit home. Make sure you have all of your records. Make double sure you meet your deadlines. Get you a strong CSO you may feel comfortable with. Seek a Veterans Womens Coordinator @ VAMC or VARO too. I have found some decent one's. If you cannot afford some of the books on VA Claims, seek a library out to obtain some. Veterans Benefit Manual, John D. Roche books, there really are so many but you will find much help with this site and check out Jim Strickland's site www,vawatchdogtoday.org and look up areas you want to seek info regarding MST.

You will find lots of help here from many who have common diagnosis.MST. Good luck, and ask away. I did all I could on my own and finally won my claim it took over 7 years. It can be done. When it gets too deep for you and you have exhausted all your avenues, an attorney could be the route you want. IMO's and IME's are invaluable, and you may be able to get your own Dr's to write them to help you too.

[lp56]

I sure appreciate all the advice and support and am learning so much and what I have to do. This weekend I did start thinking about the military personnel records I retrieved from the National Personnel Records Center. There was hardly anything in there.Of extreme importance and highly suspicisous is the fact that these records do not even include such evidence of a pregnancy test or the test for a std when I was single. It is quite perplexing and distressing why there are no records at all about my pregnancy and the live birth of my son at Tripler Army Medical Center. My health records would also indicate lack of weight gain to due under eating, high blood pressure and poor nutrition caused in part by the continuous sexual harassment I was under. Bluntly speaking, to avoid using the bathroom in the field or at work and to avoid unwanted sexual touching, cat calls, listening to offensive remarks and unwelcomed sexual advances as I walkd past the barracks to get food - I simply went without much food and drink as necessary. My medical records will also show that I was confined to Quarters for 4 weeks due to poor health. It was during the this time while I was in a weaken state, that the rape occured. I am going to include the birth certificate of my son and the marriage certificate as evidence and that is why I questioned if I could still send in additional evidence. Both will show when I got pregnant as I testified to and that I married after I was pregnant. I have testimony submitted already from family questioning why I suddenly got married and then the surprise they felt when they found out I was pregnant.

The denial letter stated that I made a entry in my journal that "showed that I was miserable in my job and wished my ex-husband was there to make me laugh." Therefore, my claim for service connection for post traumatic stress disorder is denied since available medical evidence is insufficient to confirm a link between current sysmptoms and an in-service stressor." To correct the examiner, the specific journal entry stated, "Today I was upset at work. I was even crying. When the pressue & anger builds up I can't hold my tears back anymore. I hate them all! I wish Monty would have been here. He makes me feel better." The journal entry goes on to say, "I wish I could love this baby, but I can't. Could give it away??" Some of the other submitted journal entries from when I was pregnant specifically state, "I've have been so depressed cuz I can't take this anymore. I wish people wouldn't hassle me all the time."; I have not choice!; Help Me God!!!; I have to tell my family, they will know something is terribly wrong."; Why am I living here & having this baby? No, no, no. Help me God!!!!; Help me not hate them both, PLEASE.; I really need someone to talk to, but there is no one I trust or I can open up to. I need help.; Last night I could feel it's head just rolling around like it wanted to get out too. Please Lord, jsut let it be healthy. I will try to love it, but I am afraid it will always remind me of being forced to have sex. I feel like such a bad person...Help me Lord!" I must ask the question whether all my journal entries were read and how were they interpreted. Is me saying that I wished my ex-husband was here because he made me feel better significantly out weights and trumps me saying that I hope my baby would be healthy and I will try to love it, but I was afraid that it would always remind me of being forced to have sex? My journal entries were all made at a time when I was depressed, scared, lonely, upset, unhappy, hormonal, confused, unloved, afraid, isolated, angry, pressured and desperate (all descriptors or inferences taken from my journal entries). It is a foregone conclusion that MST victims cannot hope for or be allowed to feel better, to laugh, or to long for a normal life that is free from any form of sexual, mental, verbal and physical abuse?

I do have emails from 11 years ago when I wrote my associate pastor asking him if I could talk to him. We had several counseling sessions and I confided the MST and the molestation to him. I still have the card he wrote me telling me it took courage and strength to confide in him about my past. He wrote that I was faced with few and difficult choice in the military and marriage, but I chose life over death. I would not have my kids today if I made the wrong choices. He also told me it took courage to tell him and I shouldn't blame myself or feel shame. I was thinking of submitting that evidence as well.

I was not given a time-in-service promotion because the First Sergeant told me he expected me to be getting out of the Army because I was pregnant, so they gave the promotion to another male in the unit. How do I prove that?

There were 3 reasons I was given for the denial and the first is what the examiner said about my one journal entry. The second is that they stated that my symptoms of PTSD are consistent with my report that my ex-husband molested my daughter and that I was preoccupied with intrusive thoughts and images of this event. The third is that the examiner stated that it is extremely uncommon for a traumatized rape victime to marry their assialant. My journal entry was taken out of context. It is inconceivable to believe that any victim of molestation would not have instrusive thoughts and images of such abhorrent events unless they can't remember them. Besides, discovering the molestation happened 20 years after I was discharged and does not overshadow or dimish the psychological and physical atorcities that I endure while in the military. And as to why I married my ex, I was in such a broken state of mind, heart, body and soul which left me desperate to either survice and protect my unborn child or to end both of our lives. If the C&P examiner sufficiently delved in ALL of the MST events that led up to the rape, pregnancy, marriage and discharge, it would be more evident how desondent and desperate I was to escape the sexual harassment, intimidation, fear, coercion, threats, and thoughts of sucide. My C&P examiner appeared to only focus on the sturggles I have with the molestation of my daughter and not all the MST while on active duty service, which is the root of my PST.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR MILITARY RECORDS DOCUMENTATIONS RE: Promotions/reduction;, pay grade deductions and loss of pay with any work problems; any visits to the military dr/hospital stating your pregnancy-term-status when documented pregnancy(single/married); date of marriage; date of delivery/where delivery occurred;any friends that can verify any of these statements/conditions? Check on facebook, classmates,other internet searches(I have found friends from 1967 school-1968-Air Force people and we got back in touch;air force together we served(for you it would be army together we served,all military;there are more out there see if you can find any others.

Also your family members can write letter stating how you changed from a vibrant kind person prior to induction-to when you were discharged and all these years are distant and not caring to family members( like your mom dad sis, bro, cousins) and have avoided contact with them all these years....Ant dt's or professionals you ever told over the yrs to write a letter stating what you told them/approximate dates.

Medications you have ever taken for the symptoms of depressive states you exhibited. Remember you cannot diagnose the condition but a professional can, however you can write some of the symptoms, ie crying, explosive temper, seeks sleeping as a coping mechanism/which exacerbated your sadness, refusal to eat/over eat/ drink alcohol to drown sorrow/never worked and made you ill/throw up and have frequent stomach aches...

These people have to write a statement at the end of their letters with a sworn statement to the effects this is the truth to the best of their knowledge and ability they are giving of their own free will and is the whole truth regarding information they presented. Notarized too.

Get all records from any hospitals, treatment centers. Dr's you ever saw, therapist, free clinics. counselors. friends who can vouch what they witnessed regarding your behavior...your kids can write some too just describing your behavior ie never went to games/plays/concerts/school functions/avoided contact with people/had no friends or stayed out all night neglected to wash their clothes.feed them, get them up for school in time...cried all the time/yelled and screamed all the time/stayed in bed avoided contact...descriptive signs and symptoms they observed...argued with spouse and both were combative or submissive to violence and would receive black eyes/bruises and stayed for the sake of the family unit and felt she had to in order to survive.

You can write, I as a vet felt obligated vet married me, as told I was stupid for getting pregnant...this is nothing against you, but if these things were ever said use it as tools to prove you stayed in a relationship that was volitile, but you felt trapped and had suffered feelings of worthlessness. You have to prove these feelings existed since 76 plus whatever you really did/do feel. I am just giving you examples to use/which may help with your profile statements as a template for you. Did you ever tell a clergy person? They could vouch for you too.

Wings put some excellent info for you to reference to. The syndrome stuff really may hit home. Make sure you have all of your records. Make double sure you meet your deadlines. Get you a strong CSO you may feel comfortable with. Seek a Veterans Womens Coordinator @ VAMC or VARO too. I have found some decent one's. If you cannot afford some of the books on VA Claims, seek a library out to obtain some. Veterans Benefit Manual, John D. Roche books, there really are so many but you will find much help with this site and check out Jim Strickland's site www,vawatchdogtoday.org and look up areas you want to seek info regarding MST.

You will find lots of help here from many who have common diagnosis.MST. Good luck, and ask away. I did all I could on my own and finally won my claim it took over 7 years. It can be done. When it gets too deep for you and you have exhausted all your avenues, an attorney could be the route you want. IMO's and IME's are invaluable, and you may be able to get your own Dr's to write them to help you too.

[lp56]

Thinking out loud here:

Were charges ever brought against the perpetrator [scumbag] for child molestation? Was he brought to justice, go to court? You said he went "underground, so to speak". Wasn't he required by law to pay child support? I know there is a strict statute of limitations on bringing criminal action, have those expired?

If he was brought to court for any reason, you may be able to subpoena (through an attorney or legal aid) past arrrests, police reports, investigations, questioning, court records, etc. Does the VA have the legal authority to request a copy of your ex-husbands' military service records? I would want to know if there were ever charges or complaints from other witnesses.

Hmmmm, I would keep digging, I would appeal and keep working at this claim and keep going to counseling!

VA laws can also change or liberalize in your favor while your appeal is pending. ~Wings