ptsd Looking For Information And Advice.

[Jon1371]

I have been researching TBI since I found out what it was a couple of months ago. Last month I got a TBI pamphlet from the VA hospital I use and I know now that I have had all the symptoms and that they happened to me numerous times. While I was in, no one talked about TBI or even mentioned it. If you had a headache you were supposed to drink water and if you had light sensitivity you put on sunglasses. To this day, I am still experiencing residual such as headaches including migraines, sensitivity to light and sounds, vertigo, cognitive and concentration problems, irritability, and pretty much all of the rest of the symptoms. I have told my doctors about all of these symptoms over the years.

I learned that the VA started mandatory screening in April 2007. My records from 2006 show that I had screened positive for TBI. The records also show that I deny having TBI. I thought TBI happened when your vehicle got hit by an IED or your person took shrapnel. Since none of that happened to me, I always said no. My records for the last nine years show both positive screenings and negative. I had never known until last month that I even screened positive for TBI until I got my medical records. No one told me.

In 2005 I was diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar type 2 mixed because I never went full manic. I was having mood swings back then, but I haven't had mood swings since late 2006. Fast forward to a few months ago I went back to the VA to get help because I had a three month breakdown. During this breakdown I was having so many hallucinations and remembering them that I told the doctors about them. Hallucinations plus the previous bipolar diagnosis led them to believe that I was schizophrenic or schizoaffective. These possible diagnosis led the psychiatrist to prescribe me an antipsychotic. I had such a severe reaction to the antipsychotic that when I realized what it was doing to me I stopped taking it. It has taken over two months for my brain to partially recover from that drug. Since my hallucinations affect me physically and mentally the exact same way every single time, I wrote down what happens and told my PCP and she thought it was seizures.

Currently, I am rated for my left shoulder, hip, and knee. I have been diagnosed with arthritis in those joints because I have to fight them to move and there is pain, weakness and tension in the joints and muscles on my left side. In addition to the severe mental side effects from taking the antipsychotic, that drug, as crazy as it sounds, made my left side worse than it was and started tremors. I now have tremors in my left hand and foot and throughout most of the muscle groups on my left side. My left arm is almost worthless and my left hand tremors so much I can't hold a glass of water. My left leg fights against me more now, so it's even harder to walk and more tiring. While I was on the antipsychotic, I experienced what is happening in my left arm in my right arm. Both arms just hung there, wooden, painful and worthless. Never had any real problems with my right arm until then and it is still weak and every now and then I get tremors in my right hand. The tremors in my left hand are constant. And I have never had so many migraines as I did while on the drug or in the months after.

By failing to follow through with the mandated TBI testing that started in April 2007, I was never properly screened and treated for TBI. In my PTSD screening and diagnosis, it clearly states that I avoided any and all news relating to the OIF/OEF wars. The only thing I ever knew about TBI was that it was happening to the troops from IED explosions. I only knew that because I'd read a headline before I caught myself and stopped. I know now that I was ignorant of what TBI really was.

Do I just suck it up and drink water? Every time I go in or interact with VA Mental Health they keep trying to talk me into checking myself into a hospital. It's gotten to the point that I'm terrified to go to my appointments because I'm frightened they will force me into a hospital and I'll be forced to take another antipsychotic that may kill me this time. My old psychiatrist kept wanting me to try another antipsychotic, and he got angry because I refused. The antipsychotic seems to have made all my mental and physical problems much worse and seems to have kick started Parkinson's. Is there anything I can do or am I just out of luck?

I really appreciate any information, advice or help anyone can give me.

Thanks,

Jon

[63SIERRA]

you may be hyper sensitive to medications. I would try the meds again, but tell them that the previous med sent you on a trip, and you dont mean CANCUN. They can start you off on very low doses, and increase if the wheels stay on the ground. most meds for mental issues are VERY powerful, so you are justified in being cautious. Communication with your doctor is the key, dont assume they know anything , tell them whats going on.

[Jon1371]

Thanks for your input, 63SIERRA.

[Berta]

If you have an inservice documented event that would cause PTSD and/or TBI ,have you filed a claim for these conditions?

[Jon1371]

Berta, I'm already SC for PTSD. I'd never heard of TBI until years after I'd gotten out. Just found out what it really was within the last few months. It was never talked about. If I had known what it was I would have filed for it before I got out. I also wouldn't have asked to cross train with EOD or go to Sapper School. The only danger we were ever told about was shrapnel. I look at the symptoms now and I realized that I experienced it well into the double digits. You stop complaining to the Corpsman after getting told to suck it up and drink water.

[john999]

I am allergic to most anti-psychotic drugs. I was given some kind of Thorazine or something like that in the army in 1971. I ended up in the hospital. Long term affects of using anti-psychotics is Parkinson like symptoms. I have seen people with those symptoms. They are permanent and look like Parkinson's.

[Jon1371]

john999, I hope I'm just allergic to them. I was only on 5mg per day for a few days before I realized what was going on and started tapering off. I was only on it for 2.5-3 weeks I think. It has been over two months since I've been off it and I still have tremors and my brain still isn't right.

Reading through my medical files it seems like two things happened. In one I was asked if I had TBI and I always answered no because according to my understanding, no I did not. The other asks about symptoms and I always answer yes, I had those lots of time and I still have them. I also didn't know that I had PTSD until I talked to a doctor. Until a couple moths ago, I didn't think I had TBI, but after reading that pamphlet, I know I had numerous. Most of them happened within 6 months of deploying to Kuwait and within 9 months of going into Iraq and destroying UXO.

As horrible as the side effect were, they did make me start researching things and it's time to take charge of my care. Maybe it takes a kick to the throat to start paying attention.