Jon1371

Every time VA cancels one of my appointment, it shows up that I cancelled it. Same thing happens when they reschedule. Maybe it's part of the scheduling shenanigans.

Thanks for all you do for us, Berta. I'll need a lawyer for all that because my Psychologist thinks I have dementia and that's why I had such a severe reaction to the antipsychotic. Seems the antipsychotic has accelerated my mental problems as well as giving me tremors.

Being misdiagnosed with migraines instead of TBI. Being misdiagnosed with bipolar instead of TBI. Being misdiagnosed with schizophrenia instead of PTSD flashbacks and seizures. Being given an antipsychotic that almost killed me and kicked off Parkinson's. I'm not very happy with VA, but I have nowhere else to go.

I wish you fair winds and following seas and I hope you get what is owed to you.

john999, I hope I'm just allergic to them. I was only on 5mg per day for a few days before I realized what was going on and started tapering off. I was only on it for 2.5-3 weeks I think. It has been over two months since I've been off it and I still have tremors and my brain still isn't right. Reading through my medical files it seems like two things happened. In one I was asked if I had TBI and I always answered no because according to my understanding, no I did not. The other asks about symptoms and I always answer yes, I had those lots of time and I still have them. I also didn't know that I had PTSD until I talked to a doctor. Until a couple moths ago, I didn't think I had TBI, but after reading that pamphlet, I know I had numerous. Most of them happened within 6 months of deploying to Kuwait and within 9 months of going into Iraq and destroying UXO. As horrible as the side effect were, they did make me start researching things and it's time to take charge of my care. Maybe it takes a kick to the throat to start paying attention.

Berta, I'm already SC for PTSD. I'd never heard of TBI until years after I'd gotten out. Just found out what it really was within the last few months. It was never talked about. If I had known what it was I would have filed for it before I got out. I also wouldn't have asked to cross train with EOD or go to Sapper School. The only danger we were ever told about was shrapnel. I look at the symptoms now and I realized that I experienced it well into the double digits. You stop complaining to the Corpsman after getting told to suck it up and drink water.

Thanks for your input, 63SIERRA.

I have been researching TBI since I found out what it was a couple of months ago. Last month I got a TBI pamphlet from the VA hospital I use and I know now that I have had all the symptoms and that they happened to me numerous times. While I was in, no one talked about TBI or even mentioned it. If you had a headache you were supposed to drink water and if you had light sensitivity you put on sunglasses. To this day, I am still experiencing residual such as headaches including migraines, sensitivity to light and sounds, vertigo, cognitive and concentration problems, irritability, and pretty much all of the rest of the symptoms. I have told my doctors about all of these symptoms over the years. I learned that the VA started mandatory screening in April 2007. My records from 2006 show that I had screened positive for TBI. The records also show that I deny having TBI. I thought TBI happened when your vehicle got hit by an IED or your person took shrapnel. Since none of that happened to me, I always said no. My records for the last nine years show both positive screenings and negative. I had never known until last month that I even screened positive for TBI until I got my medical records. No one told me. In 2005 I was diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar type 2 mixed because I never went full manic. I was having mood swings back then, but I haven't had mood swings since late 2006. Fast forward to a few months ago I went back to the VA to get help because I had a three month breakdown. During this breakdown I was having so many hallucinations and remembering them that I told the doctors about them. Hallucinations plus the previous bipolar diagnosis led them to believe that I was schizophrenic or schizoaffective. These possible diagnosis led the psychiatrist to prescribe me an antipsychotic. I had such a severe reaction to the antipsychotic that when I realized what it was doing to me I stopped taking it. It has taken over two months for my brain to partially recover from that drug. Since my hallucinations affect me physically and mentally the exact same way every single time, I wrote down what happens and told my PCP and she thought it was seizures. Currently, I am rated for my left shoulder, hip, and knee. I have been diagnosed with arthritis in those joints because I have to fight them to move and there is pain, weakness and tension in the joints and muscles on my left side. In addition to the severe mental side effects from taking the antipsychotic, that drug, as crazy as it sounds, made my left side worse than it was and started tremors. I now have tremors in my left hand and foot and throughout most of the muscle groups on my left side. My left arm is almost worthless and my left hand tremors so much I can't hold a glass of water. My left leg fights against me more now, so it's even harder to walk and more tiring. While I was on the antipsychotic, I experienced what is happening in my left arm in my right arm. Both arms just hung there, wooden, painful and worthless. Never had any real problems with my right arm until then and it is still weak and every now and then I get tremors in my right hand. The tremors in my left hand are constant. And I have never had so many migraines as I did while on the drug or in the months after. By failing to follow through with the mandated TBI testing that started in April 2007, I was never properly screened and treated for TBI. In my PTSD screening and diagnosis, it clearly states that I avoided any and all news relating to the OIF/OEF wars. The only thing I ever knew about TBI was that it was happening to the troops from IED explosions. I only knew that because I'd read a headline before I caught myself and stopped. I know now that I was ignorant of what TBI really was. Do I just suck it up and drink water? Every time I go in or interact with VA Mental Health they keep trying to talk me into checking myself into a hospital. It's gotten to the point that I'm terrified to go to my appointments because I'm frightened they will force me into a hospital and I'll be forced to take another antipsychotic that may kill me this time. My old psychiatrist kept wanting me to try another antipsychotic, and he got angry because I refused. The antipsychotic seems to have made all my mental and physical problems much worse and seems to have kick started Parkinson's. Is there anything I can do or am I just out of luck? I really appreciate any information, advice or help anyone can give me. Thanks, Jon

Got all my drugs and correspondence when I had my PO Box. I was a trucker and left for months at a time and USPS would hold my stuff until I got back.

Just received my whole and complete, I think, file from the VA. Turns out I screened positive for TBI back in 06. Some of my paperwork says that I deny having TBI, which I thought your vehicle had to get hit or your person hit by shrapnel, and that never happened to me. My paperwork from my PTSD screening and diagnosis stated back in 05 that I avoided any and all news involving the OIF/OEF wars, so I wasn't reading about IED and TBI. Do the doctors and therapists read the previous appointments notes? I just really found out what TBI was a couple months ago and earlier this month I got a TBI pamphlet from the VA hospital. If they had given me something on TBI back in 05 I would have told them then that I had experienced numerous mild TBI's and I still experience the residuals. I never knew until I started getting my paperwork from the various VA hospitals I used that I even tested positive. Why do they write stuff down and document it and not tell the patient? Not any follow up with anymore testing. Back then my brain was working much better than it is now and if I had been told that I tested positive, I would have done something about it 9 years ago. I would have done any and all tests that they wanted and I would have filed for service connection then, and I would have made different choices with my life. PTSD is an anxiety disorder and TBI is brain damage. It makes me really angry that they have known about this for so long and did nothing.

I hope everything works out in your favor and you get correctly rated this time. Good Idea on the printed page of problems. I'm going to use that for my next one.

I didn't even remember that I had one of those physicals. I think I just got my c-file and it's in there. I listed 30 hazardous exposures. Don't know if it will make a hill of beans difference but it's on record now and I have a copy.

Thanks, NavyWife. I just read through the doctor's notes from my first VA healthcare system and there's no mention of TBI screening. I don't know if it was mandatory or when it started. They diagnosed me as bipolar because I was having mood swings. Never been manic ever and that diagnosis has followed me for 9 years now. One of the other system's I used said that I denied TBI and another person screened me positive for TBI. I never knew what TBI was until a couple months ago. I thought your vehicle had to get hit or your person take shrapnel. Your husband's fall was documented, wasn't it? He was in a coma for a few days, right? I might not be remembering correctly.

I wish you the best of luck on Thursday and I'd be interested to know what all is involved with the TBI C&P.

I've moved 7 times including 4 states and my RO is still Los Angeles. I'm in Alabama now. I don't know if that means anything or not. I wouldn't transfer because you might end up on the bottom of the new RO's pile. Montgomery is one of the slower RO's. Good luck in your move.

jrt1021 I am in Northern Alabama and that was m MOS. I hope Scott and White hospital can give you the help you need. I don't have any attempts, just self mutilation as they call it. john999 I checked myself in on a Friday too. I didn't even consider the weekend.Only spoke with the intake people that Friday and nobody all weekend. I was ready to leave Monday not because I was ok, but because they drugged me, locked me up and ignored me. I could do that at home with my dog. I'll only go back if court ordered and I can't escape. I just got back from my Psychiatrist a few hours ago after telling him what the Abilify did to me and kept doing to me even a month after I stopped taking it and he said Abilify didn't do that to me. I've never had tremors before starting Abilify and now my left hand and foot won't stop moving. I stopped taking Abilify almost two months ago and the Dr said it was out of my system in two weeks. He said the tremors were probably from nerve damage and not caused by Abilify. Never ever had tremors before going on Abilify. I also told him that while on Anilify, I though I was going to die and he said Abilify doesn't do that. It was like a several week panic attack, migraine, flu, food poisoning all rolled into something that had my heart rate North of 140 and my blood pressure bouncing all over. He'll take my word that I'm having hallucinations, but not that I had a severe reaction to a drug. Weird. He also prescribed a SSRI that messed up my bladder, made me wake up really early and made my tinnitus really loud and uncomfortable. I won't be taking anymore pills from them. Better to scrape bottom than deal with the side effects.

Berta, I just meant the gerrymandering that takes place at the doctors. The doctors manipulate things and downplay what you tell them. I told my Psychiatrist and his nurse a few hours ago that I was suicidal and then they scheduled me an appointment three months from now. Will that make it into his report? I don't know, but I'll find out in a few days.

Personally, I think it starts in the doctor's office. They down play what you say or stretch the truth and word things in such a way as to make it in the VA's favor. I've been reading my own notes and there's stuff in there that isn't what I said. 1. When asked if I drive I said not alone, I always go with someone. The Dr said that I said I don't drive, but that I drove my grandma to the Dr appointment. Makes me sound like a liar. 2. In the beginning I described a panic attack as racing heartbeat, sweating, nausea, fear, anxiety and shaking. I never said I had panic attacks because I didn't know what they were. The Dr wrote that I deny panic attacks. 3. Dr reports that I'm not suicidal when I tell them that I'm thinking of killing myself and that I and my family would be better of if I were dead. 4. Saying that I had moments of humor and didn't break into tears several times. 5. Says I have a good memory after saying I don't know I don't know how many times. I think the shafting starts at VMAC and concludes at BVA. I'm really starting to understand why I keep getting advice to get IMO/IME. I'd like to be supportive of your thread because I'm going to need it, but I don't think I have anything to add other than angry noises.

Yes, I am SC at 30%. My stressors were the kind that can't be verified ie convoy attacks, the aftermath of bombings and arty, destroyed vehicles and buildings with bodies, removing and detonating UXO. I was never in any kind of direct assault or attack and I have never said that I was. I'm in contact with a guy in my platoon that had his PTSD case denied and now he's working on his stressor letter and I'm going to see if he'll help me even though I can't help him. I actually don't remember him even though, according to him, I knew him for almost two years and he was in Iraq with me. I recently received the medical records from when I was first diagnosed with PTSD and I don't remember that stuff happening any more. I can read the information and my brain will fill in the pieces, but it's not a real memory. It's like my brain fills in these blank parts in my memory. I have had the same problem for the last 10 years too. My family will tell me about a family vacation I went on that I don't remember and they'll show me pictures and then with all the information, my brain recreates what happened and then I have this "memory". I really don't understand that at all. Thanks for your help, Berta, I really appreciate your input.

I have the Sea Service Deployment medal and the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal. Looks like i can take the GWTSM medal or the Iraq Campaign medal. My old Platoon Guide said Marines are only authorized one medal per deployment. If only I could get my combat op location changed to Iraq then I'd be good.

I have an Honorable Discharge on my DD214. My DD214 doesn't prove that I was in Iraq. It shows foreign service and my SRB has my combat locations for OEF and OIF as Kuwait. I didn't know this until a couple months ago when one of the counselors at a new Vet Center said that I don't qualify for their care because I'm not a combat vet on paper. I wish the Vet Center I used in 05 had told me so that I could have gotten it fixed years ago. All the medals and ribbons were awarded two to six months after my discharge. Now I'm going to put in the paperwork to get a corrected or updated DD215. I know it takes a long time, but I have to get it corrected to prove I was there. I am going to request my Cfile using the template that NavyWife set up. I know it takes a long time, but I need that information. I'd be living under a bridge if it wasn't for family.

Thanks john999. I didn't know that you can file a CUE at anytime. I'm going to spend my energy working on my current claim, getting the help I need, and trying to find a private shrink. Getting all the documentation will keep me busy for a while too. Fixing my DD214 is going to take some time too. I know that I am way behind the curve right now and I really appreciate all the help.

john999, I'm reading through my medical records and there's some stuff the doctor's put in that I know isn't correct. You admit to having more than two drinks in one day a couple of times a year and they brand you a binge drinking alcoholic. For life it seems. They say I don't have panic attacks, but I describe all the symptoms of panic attacks. It seems to me that they down play everything you say and unless you freak out in their office that you're doing just fine. One of my last visits the Psychologists describe me as having an appropriate manner and showing humor. Completely left out the fact that I broke into tears four times. I know I'm paranoid, but when they put things in your file that aren't true you start to wonder if they're against you.

I haven't been a ble to find my decision. Is there a way to get my decision on ebenefits or some other electronic place? Thanks for your help.

lotzaspotz, thanks for your input. I don't know if it was omitted from the evidence or not. How do I find out it they used the evidence? I know I need to get a copy of my Cfile and I'm going to request it as soon as I figure out how to. I have read that the GAF score doesn't matter as much anymore. My GAF scores were all over the place so they may be based on medical opinion and not a set in stone score. The last 2 GAF scores were from about a month after I'd gotten out of the hospital. I know my claim is my responsibility and that I should have done more for myself and I didn't. A couple of months ago, I decided to do more than just take what they give me and so I'm trying to find out how to fight for myself. My current GAF is 60 even though I've been telling the doctor's that I'm hallucinating, suicidal, don't leave the house, spend all day in bed, and have paranoid delusions. I don't understand.