ptsd Gathering Of Evidence Development Letter

[shannan]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum. I've been looking through some of your forum for the past couple of months, but this is my first post (so i hope I'm posting in the correct thread).

I submitted my FDC in January of this year. I just recently received news that I am in the Gathering of Evidence phase. Please do not judge me for what i about to say. I know many of you served honorably and i only wish that that could have been my case (it haunts me every moment of everyday). I was raped in my Advanced Training Unit and did attempt to exorcise every effort to obtain a discharge to get away from my attacker. My chain of command kept "losing" my discharge paperwork and I was forced to remain around my attacker. I am not pleased to admit it, but after a failed suicide attempt, I decided in my naive 18 year old mind that my last resort was to go AWOL. I turned myself in and was given an OTH.

So to my point, I recieved a letter stating that they do not ordinarily grant disability benefits unless it is found that i did serve honorably, although i have severe PTSD, Major Depression, and Dythsmia due to MST (all diagnosed by the VA). The letter is also asking me for all evidence i may have and my statement. They also claim they have no knowledge of me having a representative. They are going to put my claim on hold for 60 days to wait for me to send the evidence.

My Amvets representative submitted all of my statements and evidence when he filed my ebenefits claim in January. He also made it clear on official letterhead that he was representing me on this claim. Also, when he submitted the claim, he certified that this is ALL the evidence that I had to submit. Have any of you ever recieved a similar letter? If so, how did you adress it? I dont want to re-send the evidence for fear they will knock me into a regular claim. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Navy4life]

Shannon;

My incident was back in 1992 and NOT until 2013 when my bestie and boyfriend (both disabled vet's) told me I needed to file for my VA benefits. I was out since 1996! I never talked about my incident to ANYONE. When I got pregnant and lost the baby AGAIN I talked to no one! I thought it was my fault somehow. I lived with not only this incident but my eating disorder for over two decades. Last year I had to start "reliving" the nightmares again.

My C&P examiner was compassionate with me. She told me after we got done with the almost 2 hour C/P exam that she sees me being an advocate someday for others. Getting the help has saved my sanity and allowed me to accept that it was not my fault and that I am not alone. All wanted was treatment and I am grateful I am getting it.

You will heal but never forget.....

[shannan]

Navy4life, mine was somewhat similar. I went in in 2004 and i was also discharged in 2004. I went on a giant drug and alcohol party binge after my discharge for about a year. I became homeless and then went to live with my grandparents and be depressed and not move from bed for about 6 months. Finally after that i began chasing dead end jobs. At this point i had no idea what PTSD was, but surely enough i would have my PTSD moments and either be fired or quit before i was fired for my behavior. Jobs usually only lasted a few months max. Then one day in 2009, my girlfriend's best friend drug me off to the VA hospital. I told him that they wouldnt see me for therapy because when i was discharged i was told that i would have no VA benefits and i believed them. The first VA he took me to sent me right back out the door telling me exactly what i feared: i was not eligible. Then he took me to another VA and a man actually talked to me and explained how i should try to upgrade my discharge so i could be treated at the VA. I aplied for an upgrade online and failed miserably because i didnt have my medical records. They were magically "missing" from the archives. My girlfriend and i ended up moving out of Los Angeles and my symptoms continued getting worse. Her friend again convinced me to go to a VA closer to our house. I found Loma Linda VA. Immediately they took me in for treatment. I went through all of the therapy program (which i swear made things worse). I was there from 2010-2014. Just recently after i began the c&p claim, i was told i no longer had a primary eligibility. That someone had given me eligibility by mistake and it took the VA 4 years to catch it. I know theyre full of $@#!, but i was in the middle of working on my claim with my representative and it was all too much to deal with at that moment. Its a fight im not prepared to deal with at the moment. When my c&p goes through, it will change my character of discharge as well. So then i will be eligible for treatment again. Until then, good riddance.

[shannan]

Navy4life, were you finally able to have a baby? I really hope so. If not, i will definitely send positive vibes so you can. After i turned myself in, i was taken to a holding unit. I had missed a few cycles and began to wonder until i didnt have to wonder anymore. I lost it. In denial, i went a few days later to get a pregnancy test. Negative. I will never forget that sight. With that negative test, i would still like to deny it until this day.

[Navy4life]

Shannon

It pains me to "remember" the loss of the child...Even though the child was conceived through a horrific event I still had a hard time dealing with the loss! I had a child before the incident and I went on to have a child several years later....I have never gotten over the loss of the child....God works in mysterious ways....

The situation was very very hard for me and I hid it for many many years....I am glad I am now getting the help I need!

[shannan]

Navy4life, I am glad you were able to have some children. I cant imagine that having a child fixes the pain from losing one, but I imagine maybe it helps to sooth the pain a little bit. I'm glad you are able to experience the joys of motherhood :)

[shannan]

Also, Navy4life, I cant help but wonder, if in fact I had ended having the child, how would I have treated that child? Perhaps, definitely NOT consciously, but maybe subconsciously, due to the nature of the conception, I might not have treated that child with all the love and care he/she deserved. I try to think of my circumstance that way. It must have been for the better somehow or it would not have happened.