shannan

Yes Navy4life, it takes the edge off of it. :)

Andy, its been 11 almost 12 years for me. Thats a really good way of putting it. I think for those of us with PTSD, the fear of the unknown and all of its variable factors are what gets to us the most. For instance,any regular Joe can walk into a restaurant and expect to have a good time and eat and leave...No big deal. But when we enter a restaurant (not speaking for all of us, just myself and many people i know), we expect the unexpected. We expect for someone to assault our wife and know that we will have to fight for them. We expect for the place to be held up in a strong armed robbery, etc, etc, etc...We even go so far as to pick a strategic seat closest to the exit with our backs to the wall and view of the entire dining room so we can monitor EVERYTHING that is going on, so when $@#! hits the fan, we can get ourselves and our loved ones out of danger as quickly as possible. But all in all, we did just get served dinner and the evening went by without incident. The only difference between us and everyone else is that we didnt enjoy our time because we were constantly on edge waiting for Armegeddon to happen because we just knew it would. I think the hardest part about PTSD is recognizing and ignoring the irrational fears it produces. Your appointment is going to go well. They will give you the tools to help make things better. You have made it this far without any help, now it will be even better with a helping caring hand. Hope this helps alittle

Andy, ugh I hate that anxiety feeling youre talking about. Thats why i didnt get a chance to answer you. Panic attacks, anxiety and severe depression. The board was at a stand off for my upgrade. Half wanted to approve it and half didnt. I was not in a good mental place to reply. Try all your techniques: gardening, warm relaxing bath, meditate,etc. Its a rough ride, i know. But it will be worth it all in the end. It is our duty to stand for ourselves and others for what is right. And thank you for the congratulations, it was an odd feeling when i was told i got it. I thought i would be pure excited and happy. I was all that, but also shocked, sad that it took this long, I had flashbacks (hopefully processing this garbage for the last time). All in all, it was a wide range of emotions all at once and strangely bitter sweet. Perhaps today i will actually go get my veterans card and see what its like on the good side of the VA system. No more having to explain to the person at the desk why im trying to make an appointment and why im legally eligible. Now im simply eligible, no questions asked. :)

Andy, sorry i havent answered back sooner. How did your appointment go? Were they able to shed some light on the brain fires? I just got the character upgrade to honorable on Monday! Now just waiting for C&P exam appointment and then the rating. Character determination was the hardest part. I have my benefits now :)

Andy, I think I can relate to what you're talking about. Personally my face begins to feel extremely hot. My ears turn a completely dark beet red. My thoughts feel completely scrambled. And I get this annoying pulsating vibration (best i can describe) resounding in my head when i get overly stressed (maybe blood pressure rising?). Oh and the migraine once I get calmed down is AWESOME (not). Is that kind of similar what you are referring to? Anyways, don't be discouraged. You might get the run around. If you are feeling those symptoms, go to the ER right away. One reason being so they can help you. It sucks to feel this way, I know. And the other reason is ti start that paper trail of your symptoms which will help to get a quicker diagnosis and act as evidence you can use to support your claim. I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon.

Andy, personally I would wait for a diagnosis of PTSD and any other diagnosis which may be secondary to it (like depression). Thats just my personal perspective. To me, I feel that the claims process is difficult enough, especially when presenting markers rather than proof of the incident. I like to have all my ducks lined up, so that theres no loophole that my claim can fall through for an excuse to be denied. Perhaps that thinking comes from experience of being denied on a discharge upgrade I applied for years ago which is different. But the thing is, I relied on them to gather my medical files, they couldnt find them, and they made a decision to deny because of lack of evidence. That instance taught me to ensure that everything is in order ahead of time. However, I must say that my diagnosis was made during my first intake (I may have got lucky?). But sometimes, one on one therapy helps to process things and you may begin to look back and realize that there are more markers that can go a long way for your evidence than you realize at this moment. Either way you decide to do it, I wish you the best of luck that you get your claim finished successfully and quickly. :)

Andy ,my ten weeks of CPT were one on one. I didnt like the idea of group setting either, so i opted for the one on one

Andy, Im glad to see you are taking positive steps to do this :). If I recall, after my initial intake, I went through ten weeks of Cognative Processing Therapy (CPT). They may have you do that or another program that they deem to be the latest and greatest. That also helps with the paper trail by way of markers/evidence that you may want to include in your claim. After that, as far as Im aware, you can file your FDC. Also in between those CPT appointments, I had appointments with a psychiatrist who tried to set up a good medication for me. I belief, if I recall, that it was this psychiatrist that gave me a global assessment of functioning (GAF) score. A GAF score is a very good indicator of how disabling your PTSD is for you and can go a long way for translating what percent the VBA might rate you. For instance, my GAF score at time of treatment was 45 which apparently translates to a 70% disability rating on a claim as far as I understand.

Great! Im glad you are going for the treatment you need and deserve Andyman. Yes, markers are a beautiful thing. My entire claim is based off of markers alone.

Yes Andyman, stress, IBS, alchohol, etc... those are all markers. Often times, there is not a clear report. But the VA now accepts markers.

Seattleshay, good luck on your exam and i hope you win. As far as I understand, these new policies are really good for cases like ours. I hope you win and soon. I attempted a discharge upgrade many years ago. I did it by myself online without research. One of the things I thought would be a brilliant idea was writing a heart felt letter explaining my side of the story and the facts. In my denial letter, one thing they mentioned as part of their reason for the denial was that they dont grant upgrades solely for the purpose of me gaining better civilian employment. They got that tid bit from the middle of my letter where I said that, "At this time I would not prefer to return to the military given what had happened, but i still would like to serve my country by becoming a police officer." One tiny statement that really didnt have anything to do with anything and I was denied. I didnt even read the rest of the letter. I screamed, cried, tore it to shreds and lit it on fire. I know how you feel. This is a rough process. But never give up as you said. I may not win, but I will die knowing that I gave them hell on my behalf and the behalf of other veterans. Money talks. If they have to spend tons of money on paying out claims and man power to process them, they are going to change their tune real quick. They already are. They are putting better policies in places for MST prevention. And they are providing better information to soldiers on what to do if they experience a MST situation. Maybe one of these days, because we all had the courage to carry on with our claims, just maybe we will save an innocent battle buddy from experiencing what we have.

Ok, Andyman, first call your local VA. If this is MST related, ask for the MST coordinator. Schedule an appointment to start therapy with them. It is important to know that you have every right to see a therapist of your choice of gender. You may feel more comfortable talking to either a man or a woman about this. Me personally, when i started therapy, only wanted to speak to a woman. After some time though, I didnt care who I talked too. Ive actually found that often times, men can be more compasionate toward my situation. Its entirely up to you. Anyways, then the next step is to continue therapy until they diagnose you with the PTSD due to MST. I got lucky and was diagnosed almost immediately. I have heard though, that sometimes they make it difficult to get a diagnosis, at which point you will need to ask for one. Once you have a diagnosis and paper trail of therapy, you can apply for your claim. Vetwow is a great website with alot of resources. They also have people who can assist at any and all points of the process. Also, of course, I will give you any advice I can along any step of the way. Im glad you are doing this. It goes a long way toward your healing process :)

Sorry Andyman, I'll post an answer later tonight or tomarrow morning. I just got the craziest phone call. I have to go pick up a couple of babies from a meth addict who cant have custody of them anymore. This was highly unexpected

Ok i seriously have no idea why that posted three times like that

Andyman! File your PTSD claim. You do matter. Your experiences matter. You have to fight for what is rightfully yours. Do it for you. Do it for all of us. Of course there are PLENTY of people at the VA who will try to discourage you. There was plenty who tried to discourage me. There was only a handful through the years who tried to encourage me. It took me 11 years to finally file for the first time. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others of us that dont have a voice to do it for themselves. It is our duty Andyman, to fight for what is right and protect each other. And most importantly, it is important that you see the doctors about this. I know it feels scary, embarrassing and so forth. But trust me, over time it gets easier once you are initially seen for it. It takes courage, but thats exactly what kind of military personnel we are. We have courage. Andyman! File your PTSD claim. You do matter. Your experiences matter. You have to fight for what is rightfully yours. Do it for you. Do it for all of us. Of course there are PLENTY of people at the VA who will try to discourage you. There was plenty who tried to discourage me. There was only a handful through the years who tried to encourage me. It took me 11 years to finally file for the first time. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others of us that dont have a voice to do it for themselves. It is our duty Andyman, to fight for what is right and protect each other. And most importantly, it is important that you see the doctors about this. I know it feels scary, embarrassing and so forth. But trust me, over time it gets easier once you are initially seen for it. It takes courage, but thats exactly what kind of military personnel we are. We have courage. Andyman! File your PTSD claim. You do matter. Your experiences matter. You have to fight for what is rightfully yours. Do it for you. Do it for all of us. Of course there are PLENTY of people at the VA who will try to discourage you. There was plenty who tried to discourage me. There was only a handful through the years who tried to encourage me. It took me 11 years to finally file for the first time. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others of us that dont have a voice to do it for themselves. It is our duty Andyman, to fight for what is right and protect each other. And most importantly, it is important that you see the doctors about this. I know it feels scary, embarrassing and so forth. But trust me, over time it gets easier once you are initially seen for it. It takes courage, but thats exactly what kind of military personnel we are. We have courage.

Andyman, I believe thats why the study was done if I recall. Often times, women tend to place blame and/or claim that a man doesnt understand in this situation. I can tell it affects you greatly. Did you talk to your doctor about it? Often times it helps alot to talk about it. Your feelings are valid. :)

SeattleShay, you are so lucky you ended up with an Honorable :). I know that doesnt often happen. Did you get your claim approved for PTSD yet?

Andyman, thank you for your support. Your point of view is not small potatoes. Several years ago, I read somewhere (cant remember where) that a study had been done. The study stated that often times a man suffers more from the pain that comes from the miscarriage than a women. The reason being is, not only has a man suffered the loss of the child as the woman has, but the man also feels sorrow for his wife's loss and pain. In other words, most men's natural instinct is to protect what is theirs. And often times men suffer losing the child, plus not being able to protect their wife from the pain. Dont ever think that your feelings are not valid on this matter. I am sorry for your loss.

Also, Navy4life, I cant help but wonder, if in fact I had ended having the child, how would I have treated that child? Perhaps, definitely NOT consciously, but maybe subconsciously, due to the nature of the conception, I might not have treated that child with all the love and care he/she deserved. I try to think of my circumstance that way. It must have been for the better somehow or it would not have happened.

Navy4life, I am glad you were able to have some children. I cant imagine that having a child fixes the pain from losing one, but I imagine maybe it helps to sooth the pain a little bit. I'm glad you are able to experience the joys of motherhood :)

The way I originally dealt with it was a boxing bag. Picture what is bothering you and beat the ____ out of it. Dont just picture the circumstances at hand that put you in the rage, but try to think deeper as to what it really was that set you off. Then after a couple of years of beating everything that bothered me, i began looking for more peace. At first i needed to experience the anger and let it out...then peace. So now I recieve Reiki and accupuncture for PTSD. It does wonders.

Go to the store in the vitamin aisle. Get a bottle of Melatonin. Melatonin is what your body naturally produces when you sleep. With insomnia problems, our bodies arent wanting to produce normal levels. Give it a boost with the Melatonin. It is a natural sleep, not a drugged up, coma like sleep that you get from prescription sleeping pills. If you need to wake up in an emergency, its no problem. Im guessing the trash can lids clanging are likely a sleep deprived hallucination. Give it a few nights of good rest on the Melatonin and I would bet that noise will go away.

Alright I did it. I have an uncontrolled urge to push buttons lol. Im in gathering of Evidence at the moment. I will update and let you guys know what happens.

Ranger, If you have not already, you need to go to the VA hospital and get treatment for the personal assault. You are entitle to this treatment no matter the status of your discharge. Getting treatment serves two purposes: 1. One for healing and peace of mind, and 2. To start a paper trail. Let the VA doctors connect the dots and diagnose you with PTSD. Once you have this paper trail, you have evidence to support your claim. Never give up. Its a hell of a process, just keep at it

Navy4life, were you finally able to have a baby? I really hope so. If not, i will definitely send positive vibes so you can. After i turned myself in, i was taken to a holding unit. I had missed a few cycles and began to wonder until i didnt have to wonder anymore. I lost it. In denial, i went a few days later to get a pregnancy test. Negative. I will never forget that sight. With that negative test, i would still like to deny it until this day.