Va disability & C&P question regarding veteran with suicide risk

[Lagin02]

So my husband is going though the VA disability process. He began treatment in April doing CPT which aggravated his symptoms immensely. In May, he was fired from the job he has held for 8 years. In June, he was put on disability leave from his National Guard unit after command became aware of his suicide risk and they have mandated that he continues the therapy which is only making the situation worse. He has been in for 15 years and most likely will be medically chaptered out which has worsened his depression significantly. Due to his suicidal thoughts I am trying to manage this financial crisis as best I can because I’m afraid he is being pushed over the edge. He just stares off into space and sits in our basement. I filed for VA disability at the beginning of June because prior to all this he was our only source of income. I left my job a couple months before he was fired because my income was not enough to cover daycare after our son was born. I can’t leave him alone with the kids in the state he is in right now. I payed off our bills for a couple months with our savings but we only have a month left before we will be homeless. I also expedited his claim due to financial hardship in June. His claim seems open and shut to me. He did is C&P exam in July 31st but the VA still haven’t received the report (it was a VA doctor that did it not a contractor).  I called on Thursday to ask where it is and was told “it’s not ready yet” by the office where it was conducted. 

My understanding is you must prove three things:

The stressor:

His stressor occurred in Iraq in 2007. There was a CID investigation due to the circumstances around the event and there are still people in his unit that were in Iraq with him and knew what happened. I don’t want to write details because it would defeat the purpose of confidentiality but there is no denying that it was extremely traumatic and involved death and serious injury of service members in a small convoy. I also have a memorandum signed by the commander sending my husband to the combat stress unit in Iraq after the incident when he became suicidal. In my mind there is no denying the stressor. 

A current diagnosis: 

He is currently under treatment for PTSD at the VA doing CPT and is on medication. His team wants him to do an in-patient program in Chicago but as it stands with our impending homelessness, it just isn’t an opinion right now. 

The Nexus: 

He marked off symptoms of ptsd on his demobilization paperwork and stated he encountered stressors. In his periodic health assessment 6-month and also 1 year follow-ups for his Iraq deployment it shows he endorsed every symptom of PTSD and one Depression question. He was supposed to be referred to mental health according to this form but for whatever reason it slipped through the cracks. His current treatment is focused on the events that occurred during his first deployment. 

I called the VA homeless assistance line and was told that they will place my husband in transitional housing but me and our children (6-month-old and 9-years-old) will need to “find somewhere else to go.” I called the White House VA line and was told “I am so sorry but I don’t know what else I can tell you to do” His ebenifits portal broke 6 weeks ago due to duplicate files and was supposed to be fixed 3 weeks ago but is still broken. I have called veteran resources but all in our area require we have a “resolution” if they assist which we don’t because I don’t know if or when he will start to improve. 

So if your still with me, I have a couple questions: 

How long does it take for the doctor to send a C&P exam? Is it normal that it wouldn’t be don’t weeks after the exam? 

What are the chances that this will be resolved before the end of September when we will be homeless? If we do become homeless how do we follow up with the case with no address? 

Will the transitional housing be able to make sure he doesn’t follow through with his suicidal thoughts? I’m afraid that separating our family and having to toss everything we have build over the last 10 years will push him over the edge and I won’t be there to make sure he is okay. 

Is there anything else I can or should be doing? 

Is there any chance he could get better soon? Like it gets really bad but than starts then better? He has a bachelor’s degree and if he stops staring off into space and having these episodes he could get a job paying good money or I can work and he can watch the kids. I can’t imagine throwing everything we own in a dumpster, having my family torn apart, and taking my kids to a homeless shelter. I don’t even know how to explain it to my 9-year-old. He always struggled but at least he was functioning by numbing everything and isolation prior to opening this can of worms. We were financially comfortable so I just don’t understand how things got so bad so fast.

[ShrekTheTank]

@GeekySquid

thank you for jumping in here!   I knew there were people here with the knowledge of what to do!  I also like your point of view!

[GeekySquid]

39 minutes ago, shrekthetank1 said:

thank you for jumping in here!

I just wish I had something more specific to help her with.

As for my point of view, well I just think that after being blown off and  being told everything that can be done is being done and knowing it is a lie, that you have to fight back in the only way that can get their attention and bad press is a really strong tool.

[Lagin02]

7 hours ago, GeekySquid said:

We veterans and veterans spouses are a family of sort.

We are of all colors and socio-economic statuses. We are mostly all Americans or want to be American Citizens. We are gay straight transgender christian jewish muslim and every other possible "thing" we humans like to label each other (and ourselves) with.

Some are extreme right wing some extreme left wing...some are just strange.

I always felt that the rest of our society could learn something of tolerance from the our veterans and service members. My degree is in Human Service (probably the reason I can’t make enough to pay for daycare) and when I was in school it was like they try to indoctrinate you into the far left. I’m not far right either but I do fall conservative on some issues. There is absolutely zero tolerance for such beliefs in liberal academia. It just breaks my heart to see how our country is tearing itself apart. How can we come to any sort of compromise if we can’t even be respectful to each other? Somehow our veterans and service members have found a way to work together for a common purpose despite their many differences. 

[GeekySquid]

1 minute ago, Lagin02 said:

when I was in school it was like they try to indoctrinate you into the far left.

Everyone has the right to their view, and I certainly know nothing about your experience but my own observations take a different track.

What I have seen grow more common over the years is an attack by far right on education and the need for education. Their reaction mirrors your view. There are republican groups that literally make the unqualified claim that higher education is a liberal plot.

The funny thing is that some programs like Human Services have a built in human bias. People who don't want to help others don't tend to go to that career field. Helping people get available services is in act by itself that suggests a more liberal view towards assisting others than say someone whose College Degree shaped them to be an Investment Banker.

6 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I’m not far right either but I do fall conservative on some issues. There is absolutely zero tolerance for such beliefs in liberal academia.

another view point that I did not experience in any of my degree programs. I hold several undergrad and graduate degrees and in none of them at any of the schools was that part of the social fabric. Heated debate could happen, but only the fringiest of the fringe ideas were resoundingly squashed. Things like owning slaves is okay. I do mean that extreme. 

 

9 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

It just breaks my heart to see how our country is tearing itself apart. How can we come to any sort of compromise if we can’t even be respectful to each other?

I agree with you.

9 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

Somehow our veterans and service members have found a way to work together for a common purpose despite their many differences. 

we have our extremists too. I once worked for a Senior Chief who publicly stated on many occasions that Filipinos and Blacks were only suited to working in the kitchen or cleaning bilges. He was also proud to call himself an Admiral in the Texas Navy. Last I heard of him he had founded a group in Texas to secede from the United States and become their own nation....he wasn't kidding.

I had another Command Master Chief who would come into the shops at lunch and demand everyone attend his Bible study which mostly consisted of saying everyone else but him were apostates, criminals, and heathens. ....had a stop put to that the second week. He was told to retire....or else....

My point is that the Military and Veterans are a microcosm of the U.S. population, and further of the world. Every type of view, thinking, and belief that exists in those macrocosm's exists in the Military and Veterans groups.

I for one did not fight and bleed so someone can impose their view of God on others, or to promote that ethnic minorities are "less" than white people, or any of those other radical far right views. I also did not fight so people who did not want to do the work to help themselves got a free ride. If you need help I will give you a hand up. If you want a life of others doing for you, then you can kick rocks and drink muddy water for all I care.

[Lagin02]

29 minutes ago, GeekySquid said:

another view point that I did not experience in any of my degree programs. I hold several undergrad and graduate degrees and in none of them at any of the schools was that part of the social fabric. Heated debate could happen, but only the fringiest of the fringe ideas were resoundingly squashed. Things like owning slaves is okay. I do mean that extreme

I wish this was my experience!  Perhaps it was the school I went to or the field that I choose that colored my experience. I still think that education is essential not only for your future endeavors but also your own personal growth. I also don’t believe that my professors had evil intentions but I do feel that they were inundated so extremely left that they started to take opinion as fact. The same way those that are far-right take things to the extreme. 

A couple examples of my experiences: 

I was called a “gender traitor” by my crisis intervention professor for requesting that I be excused from signing the pre-course contract because it stated “I agree to respect and abide by the following rules and universal truths: which listed stuff like this class is a safe space and agreeing to use trigger warnings. The only one I disagreed with and the reason I felt I couldn’t sign was “abortion is a basic human right.” I requested to be excused because I don’t believe in late term abortion expect in situations where the mothers life is at risk. I didn’t feel like that was a super conservative statement. I just personally feel that this is the point during fetal development where the fetus is not a “clump of cells” and is a human life with the ability to feel pain. I guess because I view it as a human being at this point which in my mind grants it certain rights that are not morally superseded by the convenience of the mother   

In my cultural diversity class our syllabus stated “if you are male, cyst-gender, white, and/or straight, please check your privilege at the door”’ I do not feel that these things guarantee you any form of privilege. I am white but I grew-up poor, I was extremely physically abused (broken bones at the age of 6 level abuse), and was not gifted with natural intelligence. Reading was my escape as a kid which and is probably what saved me from the same path as my parents. 

In my social psychology class it was a requirement that we let “students of color” (*their choice of wording not mine) speak first because their will be “zero tolerance for marginalization of vulnerable groups” and one guy was removed from the class for stating “he doesn’t see people as colors” because this is somehow inherently racist. 

Im not saying it’s all my professors, some of them were great! I am a firm believer in the importance of education and it’s not that these issues made it impossible for me to be educated but I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut when I disagreed in certain professors classes. I just wish that we had been able to have open dialogue because I believe that is an important part of learning. 

[GeekySquid]

4 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I wish this was my experience! 

Our individual experiences shape who we continue to become. If experiences shut us off from growth, change, or adaptation, then we are allowing ourselves to be ruled by others instead of being responsible for our own growth. Those of us like your husband and other vets, and from your post yourself as a child, are shaped in part by our injuries. Learning to adapt so those injuries don't become more detrimental to ourselves and our future is so important, and frankly the VA system can sometimes create more emotional negatives in our lives.

7 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

Perhaps it was the school I went to or the field that I choose that colored my experience. I

As I said, the Health Services field has a tendency to attract people who are interested in people and their problems. A side effect of that can certainly be that the cohort is populated by more socially liberal people.

8 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I still think that education is essential not only for your future endeavors but also your own personal growth.

absolutely agree.

9 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I do feel that they were inundated so extremely left that they started to take opinion as fact.

As an observation, words usage can be a key indicator to socio-political bias. Both the left and right use hyperbole and explosive hyperbole to deride what they want to damage. Explosive hyperbole is the enemy of constructive discourse, no matter who is using it or why.

12 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I was called a “gender traitor” by my crisis intervention professor

this statement should never be issued by a professor. It is a judgement statement and is hyperbolic polemic. bad bad bad professor who should have been reported...or just told what a jack-hole they are for using that language.

13 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

“abortion is a basic human right.” I requested to be excused because I don’t believe in late term abortion expect in situations where the mothers life is at risk.

this is a hot button social issue that those on the far right have driven to the forefront in their attempts to change settled law. The term 'late term' has been twisted in minds and common usage on this topic. The push in red states these days is to try and classify life as the instant sperm hits egg and have worked to chip away at medical standards and meanings.

My personal view is I don't have a womb, never had one, unlikely to grow one, so I have zip to say about what a woman chooses to do in terms of abortion. I am an adopted child, Father of one. She is 42. She was not planned and I was not married. Her mother did not want to abort but was not going to keep her. I took sole custody as I did not want my child to be in an adoptive home when I was perfectly capable of raising her. It was hard but rewarding. 

18 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

just personally feel that this is the point during fetal development where the fetus is not a “clump of cells” and is a human life with the ability to feel pain.

the extremists don't agree with your thinking..They don't mind painfully executing someone, letting a child starve, but by God that fetus will be shot out of the womb so help them "insert preferred invisible sky fairy's name here".

21 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

at this point which in my mind grants it certain rights that are not morally superseded by the convenience of the mother   

the law says differently based on centuries of medical evidence. In fact the whole anti-abortion on religious grounds did not exist until a very ardent catholic bishop in the late 50's hooked up with an extreme bapist and a political wanna-bee radio host. The Catholic church in fact used to teach that the soul entered the body as the child exited the birth canal into the world before that it was not really human. That changed for political reasons.

23 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

n my cultural diversity class our syllabus stated “if you are male, cyst-gender, white, and/or straight, please check your privilege at the door”’

again hyperbolic polemic.

 

24 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I do not feel that these things guarantee you any form of privilege.

I heard a commentator on one of the Sunday news shows today say that White people don't know what Black people mean when they say privilege. She went on to say that if a white person disagreed with her on the issue of race and privilege they needed to shut up about it. A conservative tried to ask her about it and make his opinion known and she went on a rampage. Another black guest jumped in and reframed the question the proper way, as both sides were talking past each other instead of having a conversation.

being white does have certain systemic privileges in the overall and there is serious systemic racism, however not everything is about race and no one, no matter their skin color, can tell what another person is thinking without asking them to explain any particular comment or stated view.

The social situation cannot be allowed to deteriorate further into a culture of perpetual victimhood whose only guide line is a person says "i am a victim because I say so". This transcends color, religion, gender and sexual orientation, and every other freaking label you can think of.

31 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

we let “students of color” (*their choice of wording not mine) speak first because their will be “zero tolerance for marginalization of vulnerable groups” and one guy was removed from the class for stating “he doesn’t see people as colors” because this is somehow inherently racist. 

that should have also been reported. It is another form of racism. Anytime a decision, choice, rule, policy or action has skin color as it's primary predicate reason, it is racism.

 

32 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut when I disagreed in certain professors classes.

you are not alone in that and for many students on far different reasons than you experienced.

It does not mean education or college is liberal. It does sound as if your particular environment was over-correcting to the far left. That is a shame, but education and most colleges are not that far around the bend... and then we have Pat Robertson University, Oral Roberts University, etc etc etc which go to the far right on social issues. At Liberty University Law School for example there is a You Tube video of the Dean of the Law School teaching a Constitutional Law class and she instructs the students that if the Bible disagrees with the Constitution it is okay to ignore the Constitution....

36 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I just wish that we had been able to have open dialogue because I believe that is an important part of learning. 

Sharing opinions and views matter and are fundamental to a robust society that grows and improves. It is sorely lacking in all spheres of American life these days and Social Media is one of the reasons. Not the only one, but a major one.