Va disability & C&P question regarding veteran with suicide risk

[Lagin02]

So my husband is going though the VA disability process. He began treatment in April doing CPT which aggravated his symptoms immensely. In May, he was fired from the job he has held for 8 years. In June, he was put on disability leave from his National Guard unit after command became aware of his suicide risk and they have mandated that he continues the therapy which is only making the situation worse. He has been in for 15 years and most likely will be medically chaptered out which has worsened his depression significantly. Due to his suicidal thoughts I am trying to manage this financial crisis as best I can because I’m afraid he is being pushed over the edge. He just stares off into space and sits in our basement. I filed for VA disability at the beginning of June because prior to all this he was our only source of income. I left my job a couple months before he was fired because my income was not enough to cover daycare after our son was born. I can’t leave him alone with the kids in the state he is in right now. I payed off our bills for a couple months with our savings but we only have a month left before we will be homeless. I also expedited his claim due to financial hardship in June. His claim seems open and shut to me. He did is C&P exam in July 31st but the VA still haven’t received the report (it was a VA doctor that did it not a contractor).  I called on Thursday to ask where it is and was told “it’s not ready yet” by the office where it was conducted. 

My understanding is you must prove three things:

The stressor:

His stressor occurred in Iraq in 2007. There was a CID investigation due to the circumstances around the event and there are still people in his unit that were in Iraq with him and knew what happened. I don’t want to write details because it would defeat the purpose of confidentiality but there is no denying that it was extremely traumatic and involved death and serious injury of service members in a small convoy. I also have a memorandum signed by the commander sending my husband to the combat stress unit in Iraq after the incident when he became suicidal. In my mind there is no denying the stressor. 

A current diagnosis: 

He is currently under treatment for PTSD at the VA doing CPT and is on medication. His team wants him to do an in-patient program in Chicago but as it stands with our impending homelessness, it just isn’t an opinion right now. 

The Nexus: 

He marked off symptoms of ptsd on his demobilization paperwork and stated he encountered stressors. In his periodic health assessment 6-month and also 1 year follow-ups for his Iraq deployment it shows he endorsed every symptom of PTSD and one Depression question. He was supposed to be referred to mental health according to this form but for whatever reason it slipped through the cracks. His current treatment is focused on the events that occurred during his first deployment. 

I called the VA homeless assistance line and was told that they will place my husband in transitional housing but me and our children (6-month-old and 9-years-old) will need to “find somewhere else to go.” I called the White House VA line and was told “I am so sorry but I don’t know what else I can tell you to do” His ebenifits portal broke 6 weeks ago due to duplicate files and was supposed to be fixed 3 weeks ago but is still broken. I have called veteran resources but all in our area require we have a “resolution” if they assist which we don’t because I don’t know if or when he will start to improve. 

So if your still with me, I have a couple questions: 

How long does it take for the doctor to send a C&P exam? Is it normal that it wouldn’t be don’t weeks after the exam? 

What are the chances that this will be resolved before the end of September when we will be homeless? If we do become homeless how do we follow up with the case with no address? 

Will the transitional housing be able to make sure he doesn’t follow through with his suicidal thoughts? I’m afraid that separating our family and having to toss everything we have build over the last 10 years will push him over the edge and I won’t be there to make sure he is okay. 

Is there anything else I can or should be doing? 

Is there any chance he could get better soon? Like it gets really bad but than starts then better? He has a bachelor’s degree and if he stops staring off into space and having these episodes he could get a job paying good money or I can work and he can watch the kids. I can’t imagine throwing everything we own in a dumpster, having my family torn apart, and taking my kids to a homeless shelter. I don’t even know how to explain it to my 9-year-old. He always struggled but at least he was functioning by numbing everything and isolation prior to opening this can of worms. We were financially comfortable so I just don’t understand how things got so bad so fast.

[Lagin02]

On 8/18/2019 at 12:56 PM, GeekySquid said:

Hi and sorry you are experiencing this.

@shrekthetank1 is doing a great job and is on target.

I would suggest a couple things.

1) contact the leadership at your Regional Office. I think White Lake is under the Detroit RO.

If so this link has the leadership team

https://www.benefits.va.gov/RODETROIT/leadership.asp

The typical Email address is First Name DOT Last Name @va.gov

so bob.jones @ va.gov

common names like that may have a number in it

So I would send a single email to ALL the members of leadership.

I would also suggest you contact the VAMC where the C&P was done.

Screw the Patient Advocate contact the Director of C&P's and ALL the hospital administrators of ALL departments. Put them on BLAST about this doc not processing the C&P.

i know you indicate you would be embarrassed going to the media, but how embarrassed will you feel if you are put out on the street? how will your kids feel?

Shame can be a motivator, but in your case it is a barrier to getting the help you need.

I respect your choice and opinion, but sometimes reality sucks and we have to do the tough things to get the help we need.

If it was me, I would tell them in those emails that If i don't get a resolution and assistance in 24 hours I will be contacting the media. I will take myself and my kids, pitch a tent on the sidewalk in front of the RO. Chain us to whatever is there and live-stream the events.

I would be creating large signs that said Director of VA XX and Dr. XX made me and my family Homeless. They refuse to get off their asses and help a Disabled Veteran.

See how much of a fire that causes and if they fail to respond DO IT.

Other possibly constructive help

I am sure you have scoured resources so if I suggest something you have tried skip it.

Keep us informed.

 

Thank you! There is a lot here that I haven’t done. I am going to to as you suggested and contact the regional office and the VAMC where the C&P was done. I was worried if I made too much of a fuss it would impact his report but my understanding is the C&P is all they need to make a decision (unless based on the report they need more information). I am embarrassed about this situation but I will do what I have to. My husband was humiliated when his unit command found out he was suicidal (his NCO and a Chaplin came to our house to remove his pistol) and I just don’t want to further humiliate him. However, I do feel that being embarrassed is better than being homeless. I am hopeful that’s the emails I sent to our senators and governor will lead to a resolution, but I can’t just sit and wait on them. If not, maybe seeing these little faces (pictures below) on the evening news will force them to take action. I will let you both know what happens. I am so grateful to both of you taking time to respond and provide information and resources. It literally brings me to tears! Thank you!!!!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Lagin02

[GeekySquid]

cute kids.

And more reasons to consider the embarrassment of actually being homeless versus the embarrassment of asking for help to prevent homelessness.

based on your posts, your situation is not something that happened because of you just not doing what you need to do. It is caused by your husbands conditions and the VA behaviors.

That means there is no shame to you, that is unless you choose to feel shame. I find it to be a useless emotion, but that is me.

Pride is a partner of Shame, and if you let pride harm yourself or your kids, then you have in some ways earned that shame. That is my opinion.

In my view, ask for help, even if it requires going public. The shame belongs to the system not to you and your family.

I will say you might be surprised the number of others who share the same views you expressed and once they hit bottom and asked for help (when others found out about their problems) they found people who had empathy and a willingness to help without any aura of being looked down on.

What's that old saying "Tell the truth and shame the Devil". In your situation the Devil is the situation and deserves to be publicly humiliated.

[GeekySquid]

19 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

I was worried if I made too much of a fuss it would impact his report but my understanding is the C&P is all they need to make a decision

get over that idea ASAP! You must be the BEST ADVOCATE for your husband. No one else will be.

Certainly not the VA or the Government agencies and certainly not the NGO's that get tax payer dollars to do the things to help you. some of these groups seem to erect more barriers than they solve, and you will never know until you are a victim of those barriers.

And I hate the word "victim", but that is what vets become because of those artificial barriers.

I am an old guy, in fact I am two days older than dirt.

I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I hate wasted tax dollars but strongly believe our social safety nets are being destroyed by conservatism-run-amuck.

There is no balance in our very wealthy nation and it is only getting worse.

You and only you can take charge of the situation.

Learn how to advocate for your husband, children and yourself.

To any person you run into who tries to look down on you for asking for help, give them your middle finger.

Tell em, Don't let the Door hit Ya, where the Good Lord Split Ya.

Tell em to Kiss my Grits in the words of Florence Jean Castleberry aka Flo.

Tell em to F' themselves

whatever works, just dump that sanctimonious jerk out of your life, and do it forever.

Never give anyone Free Rent in your head. If you have a tenant there now, evict them.

[Lagin02]

17 minutes ago, GeekySquid said:

cute kids.

And more reasons to consider the embarrassment of actually being homeless versus the embarrassment of asking for help to prevent homelessness.

based on your posts, your situation is not something that happened because of you just not doing what you need to do. It is caused by your husbands conditions and the VA behaviors.

That means there is no shame to you, that is unless you choose to feel shame. I find it to be a useless emotion, but that is me.

Pride is a partner of Shame, and if you let pride harm yourself or your kids, then you have in some ways earned that shame. That is my opinion.

In my view, ask for help, even if it requires going public. The shame belongs to the system not to you and your family.

I will say you might be surprised the number of others who share the same views you expressed and once they hit bottom and asked for help (when others found out about their problems) they found people who had empathy and a willingness to help without any aura of being looked down on.

What's that old saying "Tell the truth and shame the Devil". In your situation the Devil is the situation and deserves to be publicly humiliated.

Thank you! I have added this to my list for tomorrow: 

Email leadership at Detroit Regional Office

Contact clinical director for C&P 

& 

Call several of the resources you suggested I haven't tried. 

If all else fails, contact the media. 

You both have been so kind and helpful . Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I will let you know what happens! 

[Lagin02]

6 minutes ago, GeekySquid said:

Tell em, Don't let the Door hit Ya, where the Good Lord Split Ya

Oh my goodness! That is hilarious!  

[GeekySquid]

2 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

You both have been so kind and helpful .

i am rarely described as "kind" so I thank you for that.

I am direct speaking kind of man and others often don't like hearing an unvarnished opinion.

We veterans and veterans spouses are a family of sort.

We are of all colors and socio-economic statuses. We are mostly all Americans or want to be American Citizens. We are gay straight transgender christian jewish muslim and every other possible "thing" we humans like to label each other (and ourselves) with.

Some are extreme right wing some extreme left wing...some are just strange.

most are in the middle, seeking the best life possible.

We are many things, collectively and individually.

We are also here to help and support each other.

Keep coming back. keep sharing. and when you find answers, share those too.

Someone will come along that you help and you will keep paying back the help you get and pay it forward even more.

2 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

That is hilarious!

hell there is even a country song by that name... not exactly on point to your situation but funny none the less.