Tbird- Got A Question / Suggestion

[SouthernBelle]

I am looking for a place where I can talk about my life stuff, like what I am dealing with, with my husband, basically a place where I can vent about and talk about how my husband's issues affect Me, and him. If there are no good suggestions for where I can go then can we have a rompous room added to the forum? Something like a place to complain, and get advice from Veterans on how to deal with me husband better. I think I do okay most of the time, but lately he has been so melancholy and I just don't know how to help him. I didn't know where to put this, so I put it here. Sorry if I am taking up space for a more important post.

[Ron II]

You might try Social Chat at Hadit link for Social Chat

[SouthernBelle]

Thanks, Ron. I've been in there a lot lately.

Edited December 13, 2008 by SouthernBelle

[trailblazer]

SouthernBelle, if you need to talk social chat is a good place to go. I'am sure the people on hadit will say something that will make your day better and more understanding of how your husband feels. I know this is not easy for you to deal with and I'am sure he dosen't like the way he does things sometimes. I have been married to the same girl for 36 years and she has put up with me and I can be a very rude person at times. She has put up with me and she has and is a godsend. She has always been there for me and the kids. she has to take me to the Dr.s and she always takes time off from work to do that. She owns her own business's and takes care of her father who is 87 years old and a disabled WW2 veteran. She can handle any situation that pops up. Some days I don't want to be around anyone, I take the phone off the hook because I don't want to talk to anyone. We all need someone to talk to at times and I commend you for your post on this issue, this could be the start of a better way to deal with this and I hope it does Thanks to you for carring for your husband. We can be very difficult at times. God bless you and yours.

[Berta]

Southern Belle- is there any group in your locale that deals with spousal PTSD or depression issues? Have you checked with your local VA?

Some years ago a PTSD Vietnam Vet's wife started a PTSD spouse group at the local VAMC.

It was a good idea.It was entirely anonymous and the VA only provided their community room to meet in-

their attempts to get too involved were rebuffed by the memebers of the group-the woman who started the group was a MSW as well as PTSD wife and she had her own format in mind. Although the VA did give me some help many years ago on dealing with my husband's PTSD, still a group setting can be very beneficial.

Often spouses are controlled in certain theurapeutic settings and cannot really be honest.

They also often feel isolated and it helps knowing they are not alone.

There might be a community type of group in your locale that would be helpful to you.Also I believe there is a Yahoo PTSD spouse group.

I will try to find a link for that.

[Pete53]

Belle:

I think that you should have a place on Hadit to discuss with other spouses how to deal with PTSD spouses. One thing that may also help is education of how PTSD affects the family. We hit some of the high spots but not a forum like you have suggested. I am not sure that TBird wants to take that on but we will see pretty soon.

I found that on the internet you can find groups that help and have chat. I made lifelong friends on a chat I used to go to on Prodigy until Prodigy change from bulletin to internet around 1995. Soon after that I found Hadit.

The problems that I have with Yahoo and AOL chat is that they are so big that you never meet the same people online. On Hadit we get to know each other over time. Surprisely sometimes we know people on line better than we know our friends.

If your husband is really down you may want to check and see if his meds and dosages are the right amount.

Good Luck

[SouthernBelle]

I guess I should have told everyone that I am a very shy person IN person. Also, I have very hard time connecting with people. I blame the fact that I grew up Army and moved at least every two years. Longest I ever lived in one place was 4 years in Germany. I kind off want a place online because I don't actually have to speak what bothers me, or what I need help with. I can also edit myself when I write, but I can't take back the spoken word. I would like something on hadit because I already trust you guys! You all understand the fact that the issues surrounding my husband's PTSD is also intertwined with the VA and them not caring. Yall are a great bunch of people and aren't judgemental. I went to one of those PTSD support groups a few times and the first two times I didn't say a word except my name, and what war. I am 24 and many of the other GW spouses were older, and didn't have small children in the mix, but then the OEF/OIF spouses kind of made me feel like I didn't belong because I didn't deal with my husband's deployment. I came on the scene later in his life. Hadit is the only place I haven't felt like I didn't belong! I greatly appreciate all the wonderful suggestions, but yahoo and AOL are just too big for me. I will keep looking, though! Thank you everyone!