Xbox360

[John46]

My full name is sledge hammer.

Whoever made out the birth certificate couldn't spell so there are no capital letters in my name.

The story is like this,

the doctor was cleaning catfish when he got the call to come inside the shed and deliver my purty little butt.

Deliveries are kinda slimy at best and he didn't have time to wipe off his hands or put on any gloves, he didn't have any anyway.

So I landed on his foot like an 8-pound sledge hammer.

Mom thought it was cute so that's what I got.

Mom never new Daddies last name or ever saw him again after Mom got knocked-up so 'hammer' worked out just fine.

sledge

WATERBOY! (movie)

[LarryJ]

And, just to set the record straight:

I AM "LARRY", THE CABLE GUY!

git er done, dang it! git er done!

[carlie]

sledge,

I want to hear a good fish story :)

[SLEDGE]

During my Dad's rehab in a Veterans hospital, right after the Japs gave up, one of the other walking wounded and my future Father hatched a scheme to go fishin.

They both loved to fish but neither really knew much more than how to put a worm on a hook.

Acting on the advice of another wounded dude they bought a jeep equipped with a winch.

And off to Hoover Dam they went.

They had 1200 feet of one-ton cable, 2 grappling hooks and some dead chickens, the really ripe kind.

They rented a fairly good sized row boat and waited for dusk.

While they waited for darkness they ran the eye-hole end of a couple of the grappling hooks through some rotten chickens.

They tied the cable to the hooks and started playing out the winch cable with the row-boat.

I bet somebody had to flip a coin to see who got to babysit those smelly birds for the 45 minutes that it took to run out the line.

They dropped the bait over the side not to far from the high side of the dam.

Not knowing how long they would be able to stay awake while drinking beer in the darkness they tied the jeep to a large tree with a chain and padlock.

Then they started stringing the empty cans together on a fish stringer hooked to the bumper.

If they never caught anything they wanted to, at least, keep the jeep.

Around 0330 one of them was watering the weeds next to the jeep when it jumped up in the air and almost landed on the poor guy.

Then it jumped again.

Being combat vets, walking wounded and fairly drunk they went into action like a well oiled staggering machine.

Somebody fired up the jeep while the other engaged the winch mechanism.

The fight was on.

You try sitting in a bucking jeep with no seatbelt.

They would reel in a couple hundred feet of cable just to have it run out again.

Shoulda got a winch that had no clutch.

Pretty soon the sun started coming up and the jeep was getting low on gas so:

they bravely decided to unchain the jeep and pull the cable out of the deep water by driving the heroic little jeep.

They were making quite a racket and a crowd was collecting, including the Fish and Game people.

Neither of the clandestine fishermen had any legal right to be fishing there, oops.

One of them made up the old story about the car and boat going under together and they were just trying to retrieve their property.

Then the jeep stopped jumping around like it was out of gas but, it wasn't.

That's when the game warden told them to reel in the car and boat or get a fine.

Since the line had gone slack rather suddenly it looked like a Mexican Dog-Fall was about to happen.

Somebody donated some gas and the winch started doing it's thing.

A short time later something ugly and weird broke the surface.

Nobody there had ever seen anything like it before so the Feds took charge of the whatever-it-was, strapped it down on a flatbed Ford and took it to the nearest University.

It was 185 pounds of lower catfish jaw.

sledge

[LarryJ]

NOW, I'm an old country-boy (it is okie..........I mean, it is OKAY to say "country-boy" here on hadit, without anyone gettin' all upset isn't it?).......anyhow, I've lived in the country and even spent over 10 years of my life on the bayous of FAR SOUTH Louisiana..........and, as such, I AM the RESIDENT EXPERT when it comes to "FISH STORYS" and, trust me this is:

"THE BEST DARNED FISH STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD"!