Not Fear, But A Feeling Of ?

[Guest Jim S.]

I have this feeling of dread, that overwhelms me at times, when I need to go outside or into town for whatever reason, but their are times when it appears not to be their.

Even when I have made plans to visit my stepdad, who is a patient at the VAMC here, slowly dieing of cancer, knowing he looks forward to my regular visits, I will sometimes put it off, because of this feeling.

I don't get all excited with the shakes or sweats like someone with acrophobia or something, but I get fixated on it or something, it's hard to explain.

It's kind of like not wanting to cook anything, because you know afterwards you have to wash the cook ware, but the feeling is more intense. It's feels like an agument is going on in my head, only it's my whole body having the argument with no part winning.

It gets so bad sometimes, that it slows me down physically and by the time I manage to get ready to do, go down town or even outside to the mail box, either I have missed the time of the appointment or it's to late in the day, something will be pushing me, telling me I can put it off until tomarrow, I won't be so tired or it will give me a chance to wash my clothes, take a shower, any argument with myself to put it off till the next day.

Has anyone had these feeling and what, if anything have they done to deal with them? I need to to tell, to explain this to my Psychiatrist, but it brings up this feeling as well.

Jim S.

[Pete53]

Jim yes I have. SOmetimes it is just a lot easier to do nothing even when I know I should get moving. I have a constant feeling of dread and I expect the worse. Even though there is no logic to it and I know I am not thinking right it still is there.

[Jay Johnson]

Those are symptoms of a panic attack and you should either A) ask for some regular panic meds like klonopin, or B> ask your doctor for a good PRN med (as needed) like ativan. IMO, klonopin is the better of the two as it is less addictive and your body doesn't seem to build up a tolerance to it like ativan, but ativan works really well for certain people if you take it sparingly. Basically, you have an anxiety issue that can be controlled with meds....if your doctor doesn't agree, then he/she is an idiot and find a new doctor:-)

Edited September 24, 2005 by Jay Johnson

[john999]

Pete and Jim

That sounds like our shared symptoms of agraphobia and panic disorder. That feeling of dread and expecting the worse can feel like having a piano on your back. I feel like exploding sometimes when things seem to be getting more out of control. I have about seven different insurance policies to try and be prepared for everything and I am prepared for nothing. I feel tense and anxious waiting for the next brick to fall on my head.

[nlualum82]

I can relate to you fellows. Sometimes I wish I would end up on TDIU and I imagine planning my days around helping out with the house, running errands and doing a few things I've put off, but I have a dread that I'd vegetate away in bed like my weekends, but not ending until my last gasp.

[JennLea]

I know exactly what you are feeling. Exactly! It's literally a push and shove fight within your mind. My ex-husband couldn't understand it. He just thought I was lazy or didn't want to do anything. It's like you want to do things but you feel like you are put up against a wall that is somehow stopping you and you have no idea how to go around it or break through it. Just talk to your doctor or therapist and try to explain it the best way that you can. When this happens to me, I just admit that it is happening and tell myself not to over-react. This keeps me calm. I try to make my appointments midday so that I have plenty of time to prepare for them. I make sure that on the days that I have something to do, it is the only thing that I have to do so that I don't feel overwhelmed. There are a bunch of little things you can do to help yourself. I'm sure you can think of some things to compensate.

Sometimes it is just better not to place your symptoms into any category or think that this or that medication will stop the symptoms. We are not doctors. And even some doctors have no clue. With mental health it is basically trial and error when it comes to medication and the reduction of symptoms - sometimes you just have to figure out ways to compensate. Believe me, I've been through many many different meds over the years. Sometimes therapy helps more than meds. The best thing is to have an open communication with a psychiatrist or psychologist that you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel OK with your doctor then request a different one.

I hope this helps in some way. But, then again, what do I know, I'm on various psychiatric meds myself.