There Is A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

[82airborne]

Well my caim is just about finished. Now I can work on physical therapy and mental health. I promise I had no hope in the system but in the end the system proved me wrong. I'm on a long journey to undo over two decades of pure violence. My goal is to become a loving member of society. I still plan to stay in the house. I'm not ready to try to be the social butterfly. THANX again for allowing me to be here in my next level of life. THANX and may GOD bless!

[82airborne]

Hello I'm back. I have been taking it easy. I'm not as stressed as normal. I'm still going to non combat ptsd group. I pretty much have been isolated away from a lot of people. Being isolated has kept me out of trouble just family and a couple friends. I'm also still having hallucinations but it's kool I'm use to it. The va still have not signed me a psych yet but they put in a referral. Hopefully now I'm connected for PTSD maybe they will helpme with my issues. OOOH well. This is where I at right now.

[Notorious Kelly]

Glad you're feeling better 82nd - I'm preferring isolation myself.

Nothing wrong with that!

[infantry10]

I too would rather be isolated from the world. I feel as if I have too many problems with anxiety, anger and just regular ole problems to be around all these people that are just happy. They are too happy for me. I hope things a are getting better for ya.

Edited September 4, 2013 by infantry10

[82airborne]

I too would rather be isolated from the world. I feel as if I have too many problems with anxiety, anger and just regular ole problems to be around all these people that are just happy. They are too happy for me. I hope things a are getting better for ya.

THANX I feel exactly the same. That very happiness triggers my panic attacks and send me to breathing hard getting mad tearing up.

Glad you're feeling better 82nd - I'm preferring isolation myself.

Nothing wrong with that!

:-).

[82airborne]

Hello world. I'm pretty much locked in my room in pain from head to toe. I'm still dizzy every day. But good news no violent spells. I have not blew up. It's really because I have been in isolation. So I'm pretty much trying too stay out of trouble. I plan on fixing my credit so I can get out of the big city Los Angeles. I plan on moving to a non heavy populated place so I can lessen my chances of blowing up on people. I'm getting a nerve damage test to see what muscles are being affected by my messed up spine. Also I'm ordered to take a MRI for physical therapy. Truthly I need pain pills. Nobody will give me the heavy pills because weed is in my system. So I don't know rather to use weed for pain or give it up. I have been using weed to help keeping me calm and mellow. I don't think I can ever stop. Oooh well I'm still in therapy every week. I have not gotten my actual referral to my actual psych doctor just yet. Hopefully since I'm service connected and don't need my psych to write a letter for me hopefully he will believe the madness I'm going through and he tries to help me. Well THANX for having me.

[82airborne]

Well visited my shrink. He has upped my Prozac dose to 80 mg. I have been getting calmer and calmer. The issue I'm having is when I'm around people I visualize violent images of the people I'm around. That's why old doc upped my dose. I haven't been as on edge when I'm around public. So I do see a improvement far as the MEDS. Old doc trying me again on trazadone for my sleep issues. That was on of the MEDS I was taking when I tripped out last time. I messed around and let my prazosin run out (for nightmares) what a big no no for the past two night I have been back to mad nightmares. So I go to pick my MEDS up today so I can get back to no dreams. I still pretty much remain in the house besides trips to my medical provider. I'm just glad I made it this far without getting in trouble. Leveling of on these MEDS was a battle. I guess while these pills changed the chemistry of my brain I went thru a couple of bad days. To tell the truth I feel far from normal. Deep inside I feel like its a mad man inside of me waiting to get out. So on that note I will stay locked up I am still going to group counseling every Thursday. So I am getting a little social interaction. So that's it for now just updating y'all on my situation.