Va disability & C&P question regarding veteran with suicide risk

[Lagin02]

So my husband is going though the VA disability process. He began treatment in April doing CPT which aggravated his symptoms immensely. In May, he was fired from the job he has held for 8 years. In June, he was put on disability leave from his National Guard unit after command became aware of his suicide risk and they have mandated that he continues the therapy which is only making the situation worse. He has been in for 15 years and most likely will be medically chaptered out which has worsened his depression significantly. Due to his suicidal thoughts I am trying to manage this financial crisis as best I can because I’m afraid he is being pushed over the edge. He just stares off into space and sits in our basement. I filed for VA disability at the beginning of June because prior to all this he was our only source of income. I left my job a couple months before he was fired because my income was not enough to cover daycare after our son was born. I can’t leave him alone with the kids in the state he is in right now. I payed off our bills for a couple months with our savings but we only have a month left before we will be homeless. I also expedited his claim due to financial hardship in June. His claim seems open and shut to me. He did is C&P exam in July 31st but the VA still haven’t received the report (it was a VA doctor that did it not a contractor).  I called on Thursday to ask where it is and was told “it’s not ready yet” by the office where it was conducted. 

My understanding is you must prove three things:

The stressor:

His stressor occurred in Iraq in 2007. There was a CID investigation due to the circumstances around the event and there are still people in his unit that were in Iraq with him and knew what happened. I don’t want to write details because it would defeat the purpose of confidentiality but there is no denying that it was extremely traumatic and involved death and serious injury of service members in a small convoy. I also have a memorandum signed by the commander sending my husband to the combat stress unit in Iraq after the incident when he became suicidal. In my mind there is no denying the stressor. 

A current diagnosis: 

He is currently under treatment for PTSD at the VA doing CPT and is on medication. His team wants him to do an in-patient program in Chicago but as it stands with our impending homelessness, it just isn’t an opinion right now. 

The Nexus: 

He marked off symptoms of ptsd on his demobilization paperwork and stated he encountered stressors. In his periodic health assessment 6-month and also 1 year follow-ups for his Iraq deployment it shows he endorsed every symptom of PTSD and one Depression question. He was supposed to be referred to mental health according to this form but for whatever reason it slipped through the cracks. His current treatment is focused on the events that occurred during his first deployment. 

I called the VA homeless assistance line and was told that they will place my husband in transitional housing but me and our children (6-month-old and 9-years-old) will need to “find somewhere else to go.” I called the White House VA line and was told “I am so sorry but I don’t know what else I can tell you to do” His ebenifits portal broke 6 weeks ago due to duplicate files and was supposed to be fixed 3 weeks ago but is still broken. I have called veteran resources but all in our area require we have a “resolution” if they assist which we don’t because I don’t know if or when he will start to improve. 

So if your still with me, I have a couple questions: 

How long does it take for the doctor to send a C&P exam? Is it normal that it wouldn’t be don’t weeks after the exam? 

What are the chances that this will be resolved before the end of September when we will be homeless? If we do become homeless how do we follow up with the case with no address? 

Will the transitional housing be able to make sure he doesn’t follow through with his suicidal thoughts? I’m afraid that separating our family and having to toss everything we have build over the last 10 years will push him over the edge and I won’t be there to make sure he is okay. 

Is there anything else I can or should be doing? 

Is there any chance he could get better soon? Like it gets really bad but than starts then better? He has a bachelor’s degree and if he stops staring off into space and having these episodes he could get a job paying good money or I can work and he can watch the kids. I can’t imagine throwing everything we own in a dumpster, having my family torn apart, and taking my kids to a homeless shelter. I don’t even know how to explain it to my 9-year-old. He always struggled but at least he was functioning by numbing everything and isolation prior to opening this can of worms. We were financially comfortable so I just don’t understand how things got so bad so fast.

[Lagin02]

1 hour ago, GeekySquid said:

The funny thing is that some programs like Human Services have a built in human bias. People who don't want to help others don't tend to go to that career field. Helping people get available services is in act by itself that suggests a more liberal view towards assisting others than say someone whose College Degree shaped them to be an Investment Banker.

I am definitely more liberal in regards to social safety nets, protection of vulnerable populations, and issues related to equality.  When I say far-left I mean extreme left polices like teaching kids there is no such thing as gender or making college classrooms “safe spaces.” 

[GeekySquid]

9 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

When I say far-left I mean extreme left polices like teaching kids there is no such thing as gender or making college classrooms “safe spaces.” 

I kinda got that, but even if you didn't mean that you have the right to your opinion and belief. I shed blood to make sure you had that and can keep it.

[ShrekTheTank]

So my two cents on this matter come from a totally different point of view as I was raised in a cult to stay away from anyone not in the religion and that anything not accepted by the religion is bad.

From seeing the world from each point of view of which I can I have found there are those who are too extreme in all their views and they push and agenda on you or someone else.  Anytime someone tries to take something away from you like your right to choose, then they have gone too far!

It is my body.  It is my mind.  It is my heart.  

One thing I cannot stand is a group of men coming together to make choices for women.  There is something fundamentally wrong with that!  No matter what side of the party line they fall in!

In fighting for freedom I have seen so many taken away in which our constitution gives to us!  

Our country has a big problem with it's laws and having so many with so many ways to go to prison.  When 325,000,000 (7.7 billion people) people have a 1/4 of the worlds prisoners, then there is a big problem!  

We each have right to our opinion!  We also can keep our opinion to our self and not push it on the rest of the world!

I have lived the horror of an extreme and I just want everyone to leave people alone!  Allow them to live a life they want to live not one we force onto them in either direction!  

It is interesting in reading the bible and how all the men who wrote it had very strong opinion on certain things and pushed their agenda on people.  When you read about Jesus he did none of this.  It did no matter what you had done in the past, he loved you unconditionally!  He wanted everyone to love and be loved!  He wanted no one to go hungry and to do the right thing without judging!

I hope deep in my heart someday we will let go of these things that rip us apart and just love everyone and stop judging and be there in the moment!  

Love always!  Be strong!  Forgive fast!  Stand up for kindness!

[Lagin02]

40 minutes ago, shrekthetank1 said:

So my two cents on this matter come from a totally different point of view as I was raised in a cult to stay away from anyone not in the religion and that anything not accepted by the religion is bad.

From seeing the world from each point of view of which I can I have found there are those who are too extreme in all their views and they push and agenda on you or someone else.  Anytime someone tries to take something away from you like your right to choose, then they have gone too far!

It is my body.  It is my mind.  It is my heart.  

One thing I cannot stand is a group of men coming together to make choices for women.  There is something fundamentally wrong with that!  No matter what side of the party line they fall in!

In fighting for freedom I have seen so many taken away in which our constitution gives to us!  

Our country has a big problem with it's laws and having so many with so many ways to go to prison.  When 325,000,000 (7.7 billion people) people have a 1/4 of the worlds prisoners, then there is a big problem!  

We each have right to our opinion!  We also can keep our opinion to our self and not push it on the rest of the world!

I have lived the horror of an extreme and I just want everyone to leave people alone!  Allow them to live a life they want to live not one we force onto them in either direction!  

It is interesting in reading the bible and how all the men who wrote it had very strong opinion on certain things and pushed their agenda on people.  When you read about Jesus he did none of this.  It did no matter what you had done in the past, he loved you unconditionally!  He wanted everyone to love and be loved!  He wanted no one to go hungry and to do the right thing without judging!

I hope deep in my heart someday we will let go of these things that rip us apart and just love everyone and stop judging and be there in the moment!  

Love always!  Be strong!  Forgive fast!  Stand up for kindness!

This is exactly my point. You and Geeky Squid are able to have two fundamentally different opinions on religion but still respect the others right to believe in what they choose to believe. I also agree with the political notion that my rights end with they violate yours and vice versa.  I am also a believer but I do feel that it is a personal choice that I shouldn’t try to push on others. I don’t oppose late term abortion on religious grounds but on moral ones. Because I view it as a life, I feel that it grants it the same constitutional protections as the mother, one of those being the right to life. Just as I would if a hospital wanted to remove someone from a breathing machine because it was inconvenient to pay the medical expense for a couple months before the person was able to breath on their own. 

These are the types of discussion we should be able to have freely and respectfully with each other. How will we ever progress as a nation if we close our ears to opinions that differ from ours and label those with opposing beliefs as evil? Im not saying you or geekysquid are doing this but this is what our political landscape has turned into. It is the far-right and the far-left that have monopolized the conversation and taken it to the extreme. I think most people believe in taking care of those that are vulnerable, protecting individual freedom, and creating an equal society. The disagreements tend to stem from what policies and laws should be in place to ensure we balance these things. We will never be able to come to a consensus without open and respectful communication. 

[ShrekTheTank]

There are a lot of things in which need to change and you are right in that people shut of their minds and not think about what they are doing and how it affects those around them as long as their point is right!  

I am sure we could go on for hours on different things people are doing to fight the (other side), but one thing we can do is to stand up for those who are marginalized by people or the system so they can get the help they need!  No matter what their background is or where they came from!  almost everyone in America wants to be safe and to live a good life!  

We have all put a good fight for most of our lives, but I will not sit back and just watch as I see people being hurt for doing nothing more than protecting their family.  I saw this a lot in Iraq, there were those who were there to hurt us, but there were also those who did what they did because their family was being held hostage.  I did what I had to do to come home, but there is always regret in some of the choices I made!  

Remember this when thinking about laws as they are there because of politics and typically not because they are good for anyone.

Slavery was legal.  Helping a slave was illegal.  Let that sink in as laws are not a moral compass!  Laws typically favor the rich!  

Help anyone you can!  Love everyone!  

[GeekySquid]

37 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

This is exactly my point.

while I agree in spirit with most of what you said I am not sure shrek and I have a different view on religion and even if we do have a serious disagreement it is irrelevant, at least to me.

But I would like to make another observation on word usage. why? because it matters if the concept of open, honest dialogue is to be active and functional in our society.

39 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

Just as I would if a hospital wanted to remove someone from a breathing machine because it was inconvenient to pay the medical expense for a couple months before the person was able to breath on their own.

Take the sentence above. In your way of explaining your position you chose to narrow your stated view to be predicated on a tiny subset of the reasons patients are removed from breathing machines.

It is not that some families don't make that decision based on cost as their driver, but most of the time the doctors have said there is no chance of recovery. In fact if a doctor said "hey john will need the machine for 2 more months and then can breathe on his own" and the family said 'cut him off, it's too expensive" that would in fact be a form of homicide.

My point is that by choosing that narrow subset to explain your reasoning your words are designed to have the reader encapsulate the entire idea that taking people off breathing machines should never happen. While I am not saying that is your view, a random person reading your words could readily conclude that is your intent and meaning.

Now to make this more complicated.

Take a real life situation that happened in florida....why does it always seem to be florida?

In mid 2000's A woman had some injury that put her in a persistent vegetative medical state. She was on life support for over a year. The doctors had been clear she would never recover. Her husband after 8 or 10 months said pull the plug. As her spouse he was the next of kin by law and that right fell to him.

A a relative who did not have to pay the bills, decided that was an abomination and went to court and delayed the process and managed to get a judge to grant a full hearing scheduled for months later. At this point she was in a long term care nursing home.

As the case got closer to the hearing date, her nurses noticed something....she seemed to be pregnant. Since she had been in a medical facility for over a year it was not like she was having voluntary sex. So they investigated, proved she was pregnant. The fetus was determined to not have developed more than a rudimentary brain and would not live outside the womb.

Turns out an orderly had raped the comatose woman and gotten her pregnant. He was arrested and eventually convicted.

The relative ran to court and got the judge to issue an order, that despite the fetus not being viable, the facility was barred from pulling the plug and the husband was on the hook for the medical bills, until the fetus was "born" at it "natural" time.

The relative got to impose their views and usurp the legal right of her next of kin.

In that circumstance what is your view on pulling the plug and the "late term" abortion of a fetus that would never be born alive in the first place?