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I just spend a great week-end with my 33 year daughter. I couldn't help feeling guilty for all the time I miss with her.

In my Army career, I could use the Army as the excuse, long hours, assignments, and the need to be away from the family.

Now, and just now, I realize, I detach myself, and still do from being close to my wife and kids. I didn't want be to close to them

because I think that loving feeling is just a myth. A feeling no one cares for me, and that if I am away, I don't have to get close to anyone.

Yes, I closed off my family. After I got out of the Army, I had trouble after trouble, with jobs. I cause it, and found ways to be absent. When I felt trapped, I told my wife I was going the Navajo reservation to find myself. We got a divorce, and as my daughter calls me, I am absentee father.

In the last month with reading about PTSD, I now know the reasons for my motive, but don't feel that I can correct myself

So thats why I am seeking help. My X wife, which married me again at Thanksgiving, wanted to give me a place to settle.

I went there for 4 days, and have been gone since. Its for empolyment and the need to work. Sound Familar.

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5 answers to this question

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Your case mirrors a lot of others I have seen.

just hang in there and get help for the PTSD.

PTSD can be a bear to deal with with the people you love getting hurt the most.

Get help, get treated and get it service connected. A rvn vet you should do this as soon as possible.


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If you can continue to find ways to spend more good time

with your daughter - you will no longer be the absentee father.

As jbasser said get treatment and it will help you some.

If you love your daughter then always let her know,

show her and tell her. Try not to be afraid to let people know you love them.

You can always say, look I have some problems I'm trying to work on

but no matter what please know and believe that I do love you.

We never know if it's our last chance to say it.

You hang in there brother:)


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I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of

pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I

weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose

before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet

was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and

worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to

light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble

about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my


I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a

summer day because my hair had just been teased and


I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried

about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television-

and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was

practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a


Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have

cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment

growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in

a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have

said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. more "I'm

sorry's"....but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize

every minute...look at it and really see it .. live it...and never

give it back.

Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't

like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's

cherish the relationships we have with those who Do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are

doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally,

as well as spiritually.

Life is too short to let it pass you by.

We only have one shot at this and then it's gone.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

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That was beautiful thanks for your post.


Your daughter is a precious gift but like a flower she needs to be cultivated.Get out of the past, stay out of the future and live today like it is you last one and your only chance to be a decent human being.

Your wife has given you a second chance make the best of it.

PTSD can be treated and meds can help but it is still up to you.

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Thank you for all the comments and advice.

today I needed them. Now my daughter is away, and more news for me.

I believe my job will come to end shortly, with nothing to follow.

I have work continously since t 1966, taking jobs just to stay employed

It was important to set the example.

I am nervous about the future. I still have personal strength, but it just not as strong as it use to be.

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      All VA Claims questions should be posted on our forums. Read the forums without registering, to post you must register it’s free. Register for a free account.

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