dav_marine72

Thank you everyone. I feel much better tonight. I'm glad this site is here for all of us. I don't feel so alone anymore.

Betty - Yes please keep me in your prayers Berta - I know the harm I cause and it tears me a part - I have decided to take this a different route - I am going to see a spiritual counselor / Native American healer. I need to find peace within myself to deal with my issues. I may not be able to fix my physical issues but if I can achieve inner peace I feel I can start to fix the emotional problems with my family. Drugs and normal therapy do nothing for me. I hope this route can help me. If I was to lose my family I don't know what I would do.

Yeah that's a good idea. Thanks.

Yes I think so but no I feel more depressed than ever. I hate having to go over all my medical crap. Hopefully a good report will cheer me up.

Hi Everyone, I wanted to thank everyone so much for the advice in my prior posting. Well I had the mental exam this morning. To make things a little worse for my back I actually did yard work yesterday so needless to say I was hurting. I came in wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt with back brace and cane. The examiner was the same I had for initial mental secondary sc to back. I believe it was early 2005 when I saw him last. Since then everything hit the fan. I think the exam went very well. I was finally able to lay it all on the line. He kept making comments about how the VARO should be looking at my back again because I was rated so low (actually at the court of appeals now). I turned it on. I cried, I showed anger. Told him about all the firings and quitting of jobs. I told him it was actually a plus because my responsibilities have been decreasing with every new job I get. He came back and said that you may think it's making your life easier but it's actually showing that you mental situation is deteriorating because you can't handle the responsibility. He said that it sounds like you should not be working and why couldn't I stay home with the kids and my wife work? I told him I don't have the capacity to watch a 2 and 3 year old. He asked about suicidal tendencies and I said yes. He asked why I left my last job. I told him because of my outbursts I kept getting written up. He asked about sex life and I told him I couldn't because of the meds and that I had no drive. He asked if anything gave me pleasure and I said no. I told him in addition to Zoloft 100mg, 4 OXIs, 3 ativans, and 8 buspars daily I drank 4 to 5 beers a day. He looked at me like I was nuts. He asked if I was laying flat on the floor after all that. I said nope. He then commented that it was a good thing I wasn't crashing a car or passing out but that it was a bad thing that I could intake all those drugs and alcohol and still be coherent. He asked if I thought driving home and drinking was a problem and I said no it helps with the anxiety and panic attacks. He asked if I thought I should see a new shrink over the VA one because he wasn't changing my meds and my symptoms are still intense and the meds are not controlling them. I said no because I have too many appointments and I didn't think anyone could help me. He asked about violent outbursts and I told him I have many holes in my walls at home. He said recently and I said yes. I told him my wife has told me she would leave with the kids if I couldn't learn to control my yelling, etc. He asked about friends or doing anything outside of work I said no. He asked what the date of my marriage anniversary was and I said I couldn't remember. He asked about my panic attacks. He wanted to know if I was still having them. I said yes 4-5 times a day. Wanted to know when they starte (2001). He asked me to explain what they felt like. He asked about sleep. I told him I could only sleep 2-3 hours at a clip because of pain and or panic attacks. I gave him some documentation from pain clinic showing they gave me the 4 oxi because of the sleep problems. There may be a few more items we talked about but that’s all I remember for now. The kicker I guess which made me feel his report should be good (hopefully) was that he ended with advice. He said I am a C&P examiner and we are supposed to be independent and not give any medical advice. However, being a mental health practitioner he felt compelled to tell me that he recommends I get some help ASAP. He stated that mentally I have deteriorated significantly since the last time I saw him. Now I wait and see what the report says…………………………

Hey Everyone, Thanks for all the great advice. I am as ready I can be. I'll report back tomorrow the fun details. Berta: I don't know how I missed your post. Especially since you were the first. I must have been post sleeping. Anyway you suggested an awesome idea. I'm going to deliver the IMEs to the examiner along with the other evidence. This isn't for TDIU yet just for a mental increase. By giving the examiner the IME's although they are for back, testicle pain, and high blood pressure this may get the VARO to acknowledge them. I'll just tell him I thought he should see them since the mental is secondary to the back. Show him my back is worse making the mental worse. Either way if it gets the IMEs in it's worth it. I owe you girl I didn't think of that one! Thanks.

Thanks everyone. It's sad but true what we have to do to try and get a decent rating. I don't care though I'm tired of being screwed around on this. As far as I am concerned Monday morning will be my worst day. My worst should make for the best rating possible. Then it's back to getting screwed by the U.S. court of appeals. Just for fun the VARO never sent 2 of my claims to the BVA and claimed I missed the appeal on them. Funny I sent evidence down to the BVA for a year and a half because the VARO told me the claims were there. Now I have to fight them even though I can show I sent my NOD in. No wonder why their offices are protected by cops with guns and metal detectors..............

Thanks for the advice everyone. I get anxiety just thinking about these exams.

Hi Everyone, Going for a 2nd C&P exam at the VARO. The first was in 2005. They rated 30% secondary to my back. My back is 20% ortho and 10% neuro at U.S. court of appeals. Will be getting a remand hopefully based on BVA not considering to IMEs. Anyway first rating was based on depression, daily panic attacks, demotivation. I appealed and now I am back again. One of the problems I think I had with my back was I don't show pain or emotions to strangers well. Hence the low ratings for 3 levels of DDD with epidural scarring and sharp shooting leg, buttock, and testicle pain with numbness. Anyway since this 2005 exam my back and mental conditions have gotten 200% worse. I take 4-5 oxys for the pain and still have 3-4 panic attacks a day. My ativan has been increased once and my buspar twice without any change. I have been on Zoloft 60mg since 2002. In addition I cry a couple of times a day for no reason and have suicidal thoughts. I have been in therapy since March (got private insurance again) and my therapist wrote a letter stating I have multiple panic attacks / anxiety a day. Stated that my mental condition has a severe impact on my professional and social life. I also had my wife write a notarized letter stating all of the above in addition to my irritability, violence against walls and other non-human objects, 8 jobs in less than 4 years, some fire and some I left because I couldn't get along with co-workers or boss, the fact I am always yelling at her and the kids for no reason, the stress the drugs have put on our marriage because I can't get it up or finish if I can, lack of wanting to also, witnessed me crying for no reason, the stress all my sc appointments put on the family, and the fact I'm a social outcast. Given the my past experience of not being able to open up to my true symptoms in front of the examiner I think I have to try and let it all out this time. I don't want this thing going to the BVA and then maybe the court again. I don't want to wait 4 years for any money. I know the evidence show at least 50% here. Anyone else have to do the same to show their true symptoms? Any adive would be appreciated. I am scared I'm going to get screwed again.

Sure, mind you this is current CFR data but you can find older data of the main page of the site: http://ecfr.gpoaccess.gov/cgi/t/text/text-....1.1.5.2.110.78 After you open the link scrool down to § 4.130 Schedule of ratings—mental disorders.

Sorry didn't want that post to leave out symptoms. Look at the rating tables. Symptoms are what you will be rated on. Look at the 0% rating: A mental condition has been formally diagnosed, but symptoms are not severe enough either to interfere with occupational and social functioning or to require continuous medication So basically if your not on meds they aren't going to give you any $. If your on meds and meet the symptoms of the higher ratings that what you should get! Notice the should.

Hi hurryupandwait, Take and fill the prescription. If you want to take them that's up to you. I'd tell the VA you are though if you want the secondary sc. I'm 20% ortho and 10% neuro for back which is at Veterans court of appeals. I got secondary adjustment disorder due to back @ 30% which is on appeal. I unfortunately have depression, anxiety, and panic attacks from the back and leg pain. So I take Zoloft, ativan, buspar for the mental and oxy for the back. I know in my decision for the mental @ 30% they definitely used me being on the meds as part of positive evidence for the rating. I see if I can dig it up and post what they wrote.

Hi Jessie, I actually got service-connected for hypertension secondary to my SC chronic back condition. I just had a doctor note on a treatment report that he thought my hypertension was due to my pain. I would say if you can get a doc to state that its definitely possible. If they will do it for pain they should do it for stress, etc. See my decision attached. DRO_2004_Decision_part_1.pdf

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080924/hl_af...edicineinhalers

I agree it is definitely a gamble. I guess the VA screwing with you makes you feel like you've got to do whatever is possible. I know I asked a couple of doctors myself to do something close to this for me and they all said no. It was like my opinion will be in your records but I don't know the VA so I can't really say. I offered the VA regs, etc. and they said they didn't have the time. Having Bash target exact VA law was attractive however risky.

Just wanted to put my piece in on this since I am using Dr. Bash. I was able to get SC for a back condition in 2000 on my own. It started in 97 which was 2 years after I got discharged but I had a surgeon and a podiatrist write a letter stating it was possible my back was SC directly to service or secondary to my SC feet. just a quick tour of the claim at stake. From 1997 to 2000 I saw 4-5 surgeons about my back issue. I had 4-5 MRIs and a disco-gram. By 2000 I was diagnosed with severe DDD at three levels, L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1. L3-4 had a large herniation pushing into the nerve root and was desiccated, L4-5 had a moderate herniation pushing into the nerve root, and L5-S1 had a bulge pushing on the thecal sac. No surgeon wanted to touch me. Just in case your wondering I didn't file SC before 2000 because I was hoping I could get fixed. I was a serious athlete before this. Anyway surgeon from Yale decides he can help me and recommends a fusion of the two higher discs. Right before surgery he changes mind and wants to do two level discectomy. He also warns should this fail I would need a fusion down the road to stabilize my back. Surgery takes place and turns into a discectomy / laminectomy at the two levels. In the beginning while convalescing I seemed to feel better. I of course didn't get any money for this because I wasn't service connected (I know stupid). I go to see the doc and he states patient has had maxim recovery (this used against me in rating). Once I go back to work the back, thigh, buttock, and leg pain / symptoms return but are actually worse. Doc has me get a new MRI. MRI shows nerves clean with some scarring at the site of surgery. He says sorry can't do anything for you. I get direct service connection for back rated 20% under 4.71A 5295 lumbarsacral strain. I send NOD and DAV writes a letter stating that I should be rated under 5293 Intervertebral disc syndrome for at least 40%. DRO assigned and hearing set. During the hearing the DRO commented about how they went out of their way to give me the lowest possible ratings. Granted I have 9 SCs. This seemed like a good hearing. At this point I figured I'm good but more ammo can't hurt and I found Dr. Bash. I have to admit I wasn't 100% happy with paying $2000 but I did it because I thought I could get the return off the right rating. He writes me a letter stating I should be 60% under 5293 IDS and includes reasons why. He also states about how bad my DDD is, how I can't sit, stand, drive for very long, leg pain, etc. Granted it was easy for the RO to discount me because with all the symptoms I have going on I had been doing yoga and stretching to try and get some relief. One of the exercises mimics the bending piece of the back exam. So being honest I bent to where I could and of course on the two days in questions I had no flare-ups. My bending fit into the 20% rating of the 5295 rating. Of course nothing was taken into consideration about the straight leg raises or DDD or anything else. Makes me wish I did something different at the exam. Well DRO decision comes in and other than service connecting me for two things at 0% and finally getting my 30% Asthma rating correct I got nothing on the back. DRO says she took into consideration my testimony and Dr. Bash's letter but the evidence outweighed us. I send NOD and appeal to BVA. During this decade of waiting (joke) my back gets 100% worse (2005). I go to the VA many times in sever pain and limitation of motion, spasms etc. They won't give me anything for pain even after I beg. Thank god my wife has insurance and she begs me to go to civilian. I do and they order MRI, give me Vicidon, and send me to pain clinic. MRI shows pretty much the same after the surgery (Severe DDD), three levels of collapsed discs, and the scarring is worse at the surgery site (words from neurosurgeon). Pain doctor diagnoses me with neuropathic component in the L3 and L4 nerve roots, diagnosed with epidural scar tissue that has been there for some time, my hope is to break up the scar tissue which is clearly entrapping the nerve roots causing his symptomatic complaints, my concern, however is that the scar tissue has had many years to form and become more solidified making it more difficult to destroy. Many different docs write that I am having 3-4 panic attacks a day from the severe pain. I go from Vicodin to percocet to 4 doses of OXY now. I fax all this evidence to the BVA and have the fax log showing their machine received it. I contact Dr. Bash just to ask him what he thinks about the RO decision and the BVA. He states I need a follow-up letter and ask for another $2000. I tell him I have had five jobs in eight years and I don't have $2000. He says he can;t do anything unless he gets $1000. So against my fear I give him my last $1000 in savings. I have three children so If I lose a another job were screwed. He writes the new letter rebutting the RO's decision and incorporates all my new evidence. This goes to the BVA too. March 2008 BVA decision comes. With all the above evidence they give me 10% for neuro component of back and keep 20% rating the same. No mention of Dr. Bash what so ever. I am now at USVACA. I guess one shining light is my lawyer who hasn't received my c file yet of course is definitely going to use the no IME (Bash) by the BVA and lack of a proper Deluca work-up. I guess the jury is out for me - it looks like his IMEs might be some weight for the court to remand- then again until I get a remand and possibility rated higher I don't know what my return on investment will be. It seems Dr. Bash is helpful if you need a nexus for service connection and might work for someone like me that needs a rating change but I don't think everyone needs to pay the big bucks.

Congrats Berta! It's about time. Maybe some of your luck will rub off on me and the VA court of appeals will recognize that the BVA ignored my two IMOs. Thank you for all your help. Keep attacking. Semper FI do or die.

Hi Skunk, Have you seen any private doctors for this or do you not have any insurance?

Hi Skunk, I have what seems to be a good attorney at the appellate court. We haven't negotiated with the court yet but she seems locked on. If you want I will post her info. I'm not sure if she can practice at the RO but you can ask. Let me know.

Hey Devil Dog, Devil Dog here also. I have been dealing with back and leg pain since 1997. Since I am 36 now that would be since I was 25. I was just shut off. No running, no lifting, no nothing. Since then I have gained 45 lbs and gone through various stages of chronic pain. In the beginning it sucked it up. Since a failed discectomy and laminectomy on my L3-4 and L4-5 life has not been so good. I held out five years before taking pain killers. I actually starting having panic attacks and went on sedatives and anti-anxiety pills before the pain killers. All I can tell you is it is hard for anyone else to understand back and leg pain unless they have it. I did Tai Chi and yoga for years. That definitely helped me. I have children now and it's hard to dedicate the time I need to do that type of stuff. Another great option is to find a chronic pain support group, and go to a counselor if you can. You need to be able to let your feelings out. I feel like I have been in jail for 11 years. It's tough but you need to find something positive to focus on. Write a book, express yourself somehow!

Thanks Chuck, That is some great information. One of the things that scared me is the fact I have children and the VA will attack me for that. The last child I had was two years ago. Back then meant having sex and being laid up in bed for a few days because of my back afterward. I really wanted children so I sucked it up. I'll admit even though it caused a ton of pain and discomfort I did it. Over the last two years with the combination of my back and legs getting worse plus adding pain killers to my mix (oxy - zoloft - ativan - buspar - lisinopril - amitriptyline) either I can't stand at the position of attention or I can't finish.

Thanks Ricky I appreciate your time and advice.

Thanks for your reply. I have been on Lisinopril an ace inhibitor since 2003 and something else prior to that which the VA gave me and was bad for my asthma so a doctor that knew what he was doing switched me.

From what I gathered in my searching if you can't perform you get rated 0% but can get SMC of $91 a month. If it is deformed and you can't preform you get the normal 20% rating.

Thanks for all your replies. I did some research and it looks like the only rating is 7522 Penis, deformity, with loss of erectile power—201 Since I have no deformity 0% would be the rating but all the cases at BVA I see get the extra $91 a month. Thanks for the comment about the treatment. I've told the VA and doctors I can't have sex anymore but haven't tried Viagra or anything. I guess I need to pursue that. I'm trying to get 100% and anything I can get for my family. I am so screwed up and since I can't get life insurance (other than the VA 10K) I'm going to try and get whatever I can for them. I could probably get TDIU based on my 9 SCs. I am 70 now and when all done I'll either be 90% or 100% straight up. I just can't stop working now because my wife is taking care of our small children. I can't take care of them because of back, anxiety, asthma, and everything else. I need to suck it up until the kids are in school and wife goes back to work. Thanks.