mrs rockman (widow of vet) Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 Berta, It took David 40 years to seek help for his PTSD, because he know that there is indeed something not right with him, but do not want to come face to face with everything. Once he completed the 12 week CPT (I think that is what it is called) his nightmares and flashbacks were more intense. We live 2 hours away from the Memphis VAMC. We both attended the PTSD suppport groups near our house- he for the guys and myself for the families. My counselor is terrific. I did go on Tuesday to let her and the group know. My counselor told me that right now I may be fine, but it is coming and do not hold it in. Once he passes away, I am no longer eligible for the PTSD support group. I cannot make the two hour trip to Memphis. I know Samantha needs the counseling very bad also. She is going to see one at school. I knew she could not handle making the trip to the Chicago VAMC and needed something close to her college. Yes, I do plan on seeing where I can seek counseling. Our VA CBOC is about 20 minutes from the house and that is where David did his original counseling. I wonder if it is possible for me to go there just for the counseling part of it? With Champva, I cannot go to the CBOC for my primary care, I have to go to Memphis. I cannot go to Memphis now, for there is a long wait list to get in. The beautiful part is that our PCP doctor was our doctor in private practice before they opened this CBOC, so we have a long history with him. I cannot begin to be so grateful for this site. Without this site, I would have had to rely of what very little knowledge, if any, that I had to go forward with his claims. I know you sent me something a long while back concerning the widow that was finally granted service connected for her deceased husband's pulmonary fibrosis. Hopefully, VA will honor his CHF as due to the cause of death and thus the Pulmonary Fibrosis will be a moot point at that time. Cardiac arrest is what I was told was on his death certificate and hopefully that stands true. The doctor for VA in the non-VA hospital told me that was what would be on the death certificate. VA Memphis even called me on Tuesday from a department, but not fee the fee basis one. She was calling the hospital for them to send the bill to VA. She said that in her opinion since he was 100% sc'd for IHD and that he did die from cardiac arrest, VA should pay the bill. She said that she was not the one to make this decision, but she had put notes in his file and send it on. She said the good thing is that he did not have any other insurance. Luckily, he had not gotten medicare yet, for I knew if he had, that is another whole story. I will keep you posted. It was so very hard to sit down and post it, but I knew that I had to see it in writing and honor him. When I posted it, my heart went back to you, knowing what you have been through. Thank you Berta for listening! I know I just kept rambling on and on, but once I started typing, I could not stop. This place will be a great help for me and I am so sorry for making it so so long! God Bless! Celia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notorious Kelly Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Celia, That's cool you met at a gem show. After coffee right now, I'm heading to the gold fields of Greaterville for the first time this season. I don't know near as much about minerals as I'd like but enjoy exploring with the doggy and manily metal detecting now. May only last an hour but it's fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs rockman (widow of vet) Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 Notorious Kelly, What a great way to start your day- coffee and going for the gold. On our first date, David gave me a vial of gold. A while later a friend of ours, who panned for gold, gave me a beautiful gold nugget. Good luck today. Celia Mrs. R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SP4RVN1971 Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Celia, God bless you and to know he is at peace with God. My heart and soul crys with you. May God bless you and your family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs rockman (widow of vet) Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 SP4RVN1971, Yes, I know he is at peace and he would not tell us how badly he was doing. He didn't want to hurt us, so he kept saying he was fine. Well, you know, he isn't fine--he is fantastic, for he is in heaven. Just a small note, David left Vietnam in April of 1971 & I noticed that you were there sometime in 1971. I hope you don't mind me mentioning it. You never know if someone was there at the same time or not. God bless you too! Celia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berta Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 “Once he passes away, I am no longer eligible for the PTSD support group.” Something like that happened to me too.I almost had forgot about it. I was asked to help a PTSD spouse start up a PTSD spouse group a few years ago and the local VAMC let us use their community room. but I felt tremendous animosity there and had to leave the group. As one PTSD spouse told me point blank, my husband's death had saved me from what a lot of the other spouses were still putting up with, so why was I there. Another spouse told me, since I had been in a PTSD combat group, as a vet center volunteer, my perspective was altered and I was on 'their' side. They never knew what I had dealt with as a PTSD wife myself. There are often local support groups that I think the county offices have info on. The problem with many widows and widowers groups in general ,however, is that veteran's survivors have unique aspects of grief to deal with that many other non vet survivors cannot understand at all. This is a time to be very careful too as there are people out there who will try to take advantage of anyone who is grief stricken. ”She said that in her opinion since he was 100% sc'd for IHD and that he did die from cardiac arrest, VA should pay the bill. Yes I would think so too and if the death certificate shows his SC IHD as cause of or contributing to his death, there should be no problem when you file for DIC. I assume he was not 100% SC P & T for 10 years so a lot will depend on the death certificate. I am glad you are seeking some form of professional counseling as grief truly does have different stages and when we know what to expect, it helps tremendously. A former hadit member here had started a nice widows/widowers of veterans internet group years ago ,with some VA info as well as comradery and then all of us members began to get porn from someone who had infiltrated the group. Professional help is the best and safest help of all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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