diabetes Sad News For Me At Least

[goofycow]

If I am posting this on the wrong forum, I apologize in advance. my husband passed away very suddenly yesterday afternoon. I was all by my self and had nobody waiting with me as things went down hill. Right after I heard the news, I tried calling the VA out patient clinic in in Ft.Smith. My husband was inconsiderate enough to die after business hours. When I called no one would pick up the phone. Even when I dialed 9 for emergency, no one answered the phone either in Ft. Smith OR Fayetteville. So I called the bastards up this morning to give them a piece of my mind. Nothing was resolved, they did not care that I am all alone, with no family or friends in the local area. If I become suicidal again, just go to an emergency room or urgent care. Otherwise we will see you on the 12th at your scheduled appointment. Now, if I should feel a need to go to the emergency room, how am I going to get there???? Who will take me??? My husband is dead, he used to take me to all my appointments. But I coud not expect anything different from our fine VA health care system B)

I will try to struggle thru the long holiday weekend. After all, I still have my Siamese cat to care for. Once I get thru next week & get affairs in order, I will proceed to attack VA again.

About my husband......he had a verry colorful career, a proud Viet Nam vet with 23 years honorable service. I flew in the back seat of F-4s over Viet Nam. Even the crazed Marine pilots could not make him throw up no matter how many Gs they pulled, He was discharged from the Navy in 1984 on a medical diabiliuty. The Navy rated him as 20% disabled because of a back condition called angolsing sondilitis(SP?) A progressive back disease that would eventually affect his breathing. He was OK for a while after retirement because of temp civil service jobs. But once we moved to Arkansas, his health started going down hill gradually. Over the years, I tried talking him into filing a claim with VA. He would have none of that & he did not want VA to treat him. He has had high blood pressure since I've known him, but he also developed type II diabetes, & gained almost 75 LBs since getting out of the military 22 years ago. I am sure my own mental health issues probably affected his own will to live. He would not follow doctor's orders or the pleadings of his wife, family and friends to take his health seriously. I hope he is happy, where ever he is tonight.

Aftter I get thru the following next weeks, is there any way I can file some kind of posthumus claim for him & get benefits as a surviving spouse?? Again, that is not my concern right now. I just needed some one to talk to tonight even if it is only to a computer screen.

Thanks all for your patience. Sorry to have rambled on so.

Liz, giving new meaning to the slogan HADIT!!!

[sbrewer]

Liz,

I am sorry to hear about your lost.

sbrewer

[Berta]

One more thought Liz- most VAMCs have vans that the DAV has purchased with donations. I am very big on the Van fund- and donated to it for the Bath DAV van. It has helped many many of my local vets here.

The local van driver is a volunteer and I helped him with his claim- what looked like 0-10% became claim for 100% and SMC in 2 days-then his illness became critical so I hope they have other volunteers-

good volunteer job for many SC vets-

I dont remember what your service disabilities are but call the VAMC and see who to talk to about the DAV van service and maybe they can get you to your VA appointments.

Your post was unclear to me- if he died at a VA-I assure you they do ALL they can to comfort the spouse and explain what happened.

I know for a fact that when a veteran dies, they contact the closest family member and then the Chaplain and others on call-are there for the family whatever time it is that they can arrive at the VAMC.

I was at the VAMC at 4 AM once due to another matter but saw the Chaplain and another VA employee extend their sympathy as soon as a family had parked and even before they even walked into the lobby------

I gripe about the VA but this does not mean that they are insensitive when a vet dies-

If he died at a VA hospital and you went to the hosp-you would have gotten support from them.

[mssoup1]

Liz,

So very sorry to hear about your loss. And to make things worse, to be begging for someone to help you, only the system that should be there to help is not available to you. That stinks, big time.

Please hang in there. Berta is right. Locally, our DAV has numerous vans that you constantly see at the VAMC and other places waiting to assist those who need them. That is what they are there for, so please take advantage of their help.

I also am unsure of, by your post, as to where your husband was when he passed away. Berta is also correct in the fact that if your loved one passes away while in the hospital there, they can be very compassionate during that time. My husbands brother passed away a couple of years ago at the VA and there were many doctors, nurses, etc. there for as long as we needed them and answered all of our questions that we had.

The VAMC was also helpful in telling us some of the things that he would be eligible for, due to his death.

There are a lot of people here that will be there during your time of need and are more than willing to talk to you and help you through this terrible time in your life. Please use them to help you through this. You are not alone.

Again, I am so very sorry about your loss.

mssoup1

[goofycow]

Thank you all so very much for all your support. Yes, the people at mental health were very upset that I might want to spoil their 3 day weekend. They don't want to see me until the 12th. Guess what? That appointment is at 3:00PM on a Friday. I will deal with VA all in good time. I have more important things to take care of right now but believe me, the worm is about to turn.

Sorry about my confusing, rambling post yesterday but my husband did not die at a VA hospital & he never went to VA for treatment , never filed a claim either. Heck, if he had been treated at VA, I probably would have lost him years earlier. But he did die at St. Edwards Mercy Center, the biggest private care hospital in Ft. Smith. The staff tried to be suppotive but they were not all all familiar with how to deal with military affairs. I was pressed to make a choice of funeral homes on the spot & he has probably already been cremated. They did not ask me if I wanted an autospy(sp?) & I was so dazed at the time, I did not think to ask for one. I hope I can ask for a copy of his medical file. As I did not expect him to die when he did, I did not have any numbers for any service organizations. I thought they were going to run some tests, maybe keep him over the weekend & he would be home Monday or Tuesday.

I found some copies of some of his service records in the desk this morning. I did not realize that he had been treated for episodes of major depression secondary to his back condition while on active duty. I could tell he was depressed toward the end. After all, living with me was certainly no cake walk.

For the record, I am currently rated at 70% for major depressive disorder, 30% for glaucoma & 100% P & T for TDIU. However, I think mental health at Fayetteville & Ft smith are doing their damndest to get my rating lower or tossed out all together. Oh yeah, since dealing with VA, I have become paranoid too. B)

Thanks again for all your support. It means a great deal to me.

Liz

[Dorothy Kansas]

Liz, My heart goes out to you in your untimely loss. Call the Red Cross if you need some help they generally are very supportive. I will pray that God ministers to you during this loss may God Bless You!

[Berta]

Liz-another thing I thought of-

I hope you applied for SSA disability with this SC award from the VA.

It is possible that the SSA could change your benefit there to a widow's benefit because you are disabled-and then regardless of your age (most widows benefits start at 60 or older)

the SSA might find that this benefit on his work record could be a higher amount for you then what you receive now-

If you haven't applied at all even for your own disability from SSA please do this ASAP-

There is a web site for SSA and one can begin an application right on line-

Tuesday-if I were you I would call the doctor listed on the death certificate and see if an autopsy had been done-

I regret that I see this as a very long road for any potential DIC-

there could be a chance for - my point is that widow's claims are not treated well by many vet reps-and

You will need excellent representation-

who helped you on your claim?

Edited September 3, 2006 by Berta