VA Apportionment

[NikkiMo]

I submitted an appointment request along with my court documents and the amount in arrears my ex-husband is currently. I have been divorced for sometime and have remarried however my ex-husband as refuses to pay child support ever since I remarried, therefore he owes a significant amount by now. That being said, my request was denied somehow saying it would cause “undue hardship” to my ex-husband and that the claimant has to live apart from the beneficiary. Now they made their decision based off a conversation with him, and letters he sent in, but our son has never lived with him, and he gets more than enough as he is at a 100% rating for disability. Can anyone tell me how this is possible? He’s not working so the state can’t do anything and now it seems the government won’t either.

[Bwaveteran]

According to 38 C.F.R. §3.450, “all or any part of the pension, compensation, or emergency officers’ retirement pay payable on account of any veteran may be apportioned.”

There are limitations in place to determine when a veteran’s benefit cannot be apportioned. For instance, a veteran’s benefit cannot be apportioned if:

• The child to which the apportionment is claimed is under 18 and is in active military service.
• “[…] the total benefit payable to the disabled person does not permit payment of a reasonable amount to any apportionee.”
• “[…] it has been determined that [the spouse of the veteran] has lived with another person and held herself or himself out opening to the public to be the spouse of such other person, except where such relationship was entered in good faith with a reasonable basis (for example trickery on the part of the veteran) for the spouse believing that the marriage to the veteran was legally terminated.”
• The child of the veteran has been legally adopted by another person.
• The spouse of the veteran has been found guilty of conjugal infidelity.

So hope that helps answer your question onto why they denied your request.

Hopefully, you can negotiate a payment with him by reducing his principal payment set by the court. All child support is negotiable, ask for a mediator form your CS office.

Unless he file for SSDI, then they will garnish a percentage of his SSDI. That what happen and is still happening to me, almost done too.

 

[Buck52]

NikkiMo

Can you post a redacted copy of your denial? block out name and personal info.

[broncovet]

The short answer is "I dont know".  Here is a guess.  

Lets say he owes 6000 in back child support, and makes 3000 VA compensation.  

Ok, so he would have zero income for 2 months.  This could cause him to be homeless.  

Maybe if you tried again, NOT trying to collect child support in arrears, it may fly.    Or, negotiate a "payment plan" with you  considering his needs also.  You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.  

Example:  In the example above, lets say your child support is 300 per month.  And, he agrees he can contribut 500 per month..the new child support plus 200 toward the back child support.  If ex agrees to this, that would seem the best and fairest way to make this fly.  

And..you can try for a "grand slam".  A grand slam would be if you speak to him, AND OFFER a sincere apology for times you hurt him.  

Now, maybe he does NOT deserve your apology.  But YOU do.  So, you reconcile for your benefit not his.  Its highly likely you had "at least SOME part in the split."   Acknowledge your portion with an apology..you dont have to rehash all HE did wrong...

Often times you need to "rise above" being RIGHT, and what one person said, "Be wrong so that others can be right".  

If you "give up" your "right to be right", then you could easily get your child support and a reconciliation..now there is your grand slam. 

No, you dont have to necessarily move back in with him.  But you can repair a relationship with a sincere apology.  

Now, never make an apology that goes, "Im sorry BUT".  That is worse than no apology at all.  

Dont ask, or expect, him to apologize.  It may take him more time to realize his mistakes, or he may never realize them.  

If you get to forgiveness for YOU, then you will be blessed no matter what.  One person called it "toxic unforgiveness".  

Many people will be glad to help if you ask them, but resist with all their might when you try to force them.  He may be that way.  

If you expect "the courts" or the VA to resolve you/your ex's issues, they may do so, but it will often be in a manner that pleases neither party.  

Did you submit the divorce decree ordering child support?  The Va wont likely do it unless their is a court document.  

Edited May 25, 2019 by broncovet

[paulstrgn]

I will never understand why a parent (man or woman) will not pay child support. It is their child and no matter what the parents problem is (why they divorced) it is certainly not the child's! I am a divorced parent and paid child support until my two kids were grown (that is me though).

I agree with Broncovet about trying to work out a payment plan with you ex-husband, after all he will never agree to give it all to you at once. Make the payment reasonable on both parts, it is better to get some of the back pay each month instead of nothing at all.

Hopefully you will be able to work something out.

[paulstrgn]

Parents always pay your child support, if you cannot pay it all for reasons beyond your control then get it reduced. Work something out with the payments. But remember the child support is for YOUR child not your ex, please support your child!

I hope this does not offend anyone it;s JMO!