Spouse Check List When Vet Dies

[betrayed]

Havnt been around in a long time. Lot of stuff going on, been sick, had emergency surgery the end of sep and going in tomorrow for kidney surgery, be in for at least three days, so thats why I am looking for a check list at the last minute to fill out for my wife. Tried to buy land that fell through, screw em I will save my money. Got the VA to finance a stained glass class and the tools and some materials under the ILP Program. Turning my basement into a workshop to build doors, transoms, side lights, all as a unit (and all with leaded glass) just like you buy em in Lowes or somewhere like that, these things sell for over 3K good hobby eh :)

I LOVE DOING LEADED GLASS.

[Berta]

Jim- I sure hope the surgery goes OK and you return here to let us jnow how it went ASAP!

Unfortunately- you raised a good point-

I thought we had some sort of check list here but maybe not-

I suggested here before that vets start a Manila folder that the spouse will need in the event of their death.

It should contain their DD214 (215 if they have one), their wishes as to whether they want to be an organ donor,(and thus cremated if the Organ Bank can use a lot) (in NY this allows a free autopsy to be done and an autopsy could be critical to a survivors DIC claim),the birth certificates of them and all family members, the marriage license, VA award letters,insurance policies,deeds (they have to be changed after death), any PC passwords they might need, and a number for the local American Legion Post or whoever they should call in their locale if they want a military funeral at the VA-with a VA burial.

The VA Chaplains nor the VA cemetery system have any way to arrange this-I think this is disgraceful- widows and widowers are distraught as it is and the VA does NOT provide them information as to how a Military funeral is arranged.

( a local widow some time ago raised quite a ruckus over this and maybe they changed the way they handle this- but I dont know)

I know this because my husband's funeral was a month after his death and the Services were at the Bath VA.

I wrote his obituary myself- and made sure all of his awards and decorations were listed in it-I gave it to the undertaker with his DD214 and DD 215 so he could approve it-and have it published.

I made sure the obit said he was a service connected combat veteran with 2 periods of service-2 Branches.

The American Legion saw the obit and called me immediately and said they would have a color guard and the gun salute at the cemetery.The funeral was wonderful and horrible- (just like Rod described Vietnam)

and many of his friends from the PTSD groups as well as many VA employees were there.Some even from the Buffalo inhouse PTDS program he had been in.

What I did not realise for a long time was that the Legion needs time to get the volunteers to do this, they have to also get their uniforms ready and the flags, and then they have to get a supply of blanks for the guns-

Some of the men from the Legion who came to the service also came a great distance.

This only happened because the AL read the Obit in the local paper-and had time to arrange all this-

I am not even sure who a survivor should contact for this type of funeral-maybe other vet orgs do this too?

Something to look into now for any veteran who wants to be buried in a National Cemetery.

Edited November 12, 2007 by Berta

[Berta]

PS- and make sure the link to Hadit is in that folder- in case some dumb vet rep tells them any pending claim the vet had in process "died with the veteran" and 'forgets' to tell them they can re-open it.

Edited November 12, 2007 by Berta

[Ron II]

Havnt been around in a long time. Lot of stuff going on, been sick, had emergency surgery the end of sep and going in tomorrow for kidney surgery, be in for at least three days, so thats why I am looking for a check list at the last minute to fill out for my wife. Tried to buy land that fell through, screw em I will save my money. Got the VA to finance a stained glass class and the tools and some materials under the ILP Program. Turning my basement into a workshop to build doors, transoms, side lights, all as a unit (and all with leaded glass) just like you buy em in Lowes or somewhere like that, these things sell for over 3K good hobby eh :)

I LOVE DOING LEADED GLASS.

I am glad you raised this issue; I need a similar checklist for my family. GOOD LUCK with your surgery on the 13th...

Ron

(same retired rank, different service)

Edited November 12, 2007 by Manitou Sprgs

[Pete53]

I made a CD with copies to all my kids and wife. Last wishes links to hadit and other important stuff. My passwords bank and credit accounts and anything I think can help.

Also instructions on how and why to think of suing the VA if they kill me.

[broncovet]

I dont know where there is such a check list, guy, but I for one promise to do what ever I can do to help her if you dont survive surgery. Show her this website, and give her your username/password. If you have time, introduce her to your favorite VSO, and tell her to call him.

Good luch with surgery, and thanks for serviing our country. I enjoy a lot of freedoms, thanks to guys like you.

[cloudcroft]

How about these websites (some have overlapping info) re: what to do BEFORE and AFTER a veteran dies?

http://www.mrfa.org/Before.After.htm

http://www.mrfa.org/Death.Info.htm

A couple more:

http://www.webcitynet.com/post330/what.html

http://9thinfdivsociety.org/vetinfo/after.html

This one is for people in general, what to do after they die, but some VA info is included:

http://www.cobar.org/index.cfm/ID/0/subID/...n-Someone-Dies/

Remember, http://www.dogpile.com is your friend...go fetch and you shall retrieve. [edit]

-- John D.

Edited November 12, 2007 by cloudcroft