Ask For Sex If She's Sober

[purple]

This story was sent to me by another woman veteran....disturbs me greatly that a woman, with that much "power" in the Pentagon would say something like this, and it was obviously covered up, well not anymore! I've also passed this along to Jim Strickland and asked him to make it public in his special way!!

Time to send Ms Whitely some correspondence, don't you think?..........

25% increase in sex assault in combat zones: 'Wait until she's sober,' says Pentagon watchdog

BY Richard Sisk

DAILY NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU

Updated Wednesday, March 25th 2009, 12:44 PM

The Pentagon is launching a sex assault prevention camapign which advises soldies to "ask her when she's sober."

WASHINGTON - It didn't get the attention of President Obama's recent Special Olympics. gaffe, but a "wait until she's sober" crack by the military's top sex crimes watchdog was more offensive, one New York lawmaker says.

"This woman is not in the right line of work," Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-Rochester) said of the statement last week by Dr. Kaye Whitley, director of the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office.

Whitley's bizarre quote came as she released the military's annual report on sex assault, which showed a 25% increase in combat zones, including 22 cases in Afghanistan and 143 in Iraq.

In pitching "bystander intervention" to curb attacks and harassment, Whitley gave this example: "If you see one of your buddies serve drinks to somebody to get them drunk, maybe what you do is step in and say 'Why don't you wait until she's sober?'"

Slaughter was aghast. "I was really shocked anyone would say a thing like that," she said.

In effect, Whitley was telling the troops to "go after her when she's sober - that says she's fair game," added Slaughter, who sponsored the legislation that required the military to report annually on sex assaults and its efforts to curb them.

In a written response to The News, Whitley said Slaughter did not "hear the statement in the context of the overall prevention strategy of the Department."

The statement came from a poster in a military marketing campaign called "Our Strength is for Defending" that is aimed at prevention, Whitley said.

The poster reads: "My Strength is for Defending, so when I saw that she was drunk, I told him, 'Ask her when she's sober.' Preventing sexual assault is part of my duty."

Whitley's annual report showed that the number of sex assaults in the 1.4 million-member active-duty military increased 8% to 2,908 in the year ending in September 2008.

Whitley noted that only about 20% of the attacks are reported because of "the fear and stigma associated with the crime."

Just 38% of the cases that were reported eventually were referred to a court martial, she said.

"This is one of the problems," said Rachel Natelson, a lawyer at the Veterans and Servicemembers Project of the Urban Justice Center in Manhattan. "It's a lack of consequences. People think they can act with impunity."

[rentalguy1]

You absolutely have the right to be pissed off. You have the right to see red for the rest of your life. Please don't think I am minimizing what has happened to you, or any other victim. I am just saying that you are so mad, so jaded, by the occurrences of your life that you are no longer able to recognize the true meaning of this particular woman's words. Also, everyone needs to remember that the woman's full quote is not listed here. Only a portion was used so that it could be taken out of context. The woman wants bystanders to intervene in what could possibly end up with a rape so that the event would never occur. She is in no way implying that a SM should wait to rape someone while they are sober. Just give it some clear thought.

[luvHIM]

You absolutely have the right to be pissed off. You have the right to see red for the rest of your life. Please don't think I am minimizing what has happened to you, or any other victim. I am just saying that you are so mad, so jaded, by the occurrences of your life that you are no longer able to recognize the true meaning of this particular woman's words. Also, everyone needs to remember that the woman's full quote is not listed here. Only a portion was used so that it could be taken out of context. The woman wants bystanders to intervene in what could possibly end up with a rape so that the event would never occur. She is in no way implying that a SM should wait to rape someone while they are sober. Just give it some clear thought.

I re-read what has been posted on this thread by others and what Carlie (bless your heart) researched on our behalf. I am inclined to change my stance.

Rental...you used the word "jaded" and that is very appropriate. As much as I hate to see others (VARO's in particular) present such an attitude, I have to admit (as an MST survivor), that's exactly how I first read this thread.

Any MH disorder, as you well know, is difficult to manage. PTSD, in my case "chronic," due to MST (at large) in service, as well as LIFE itself...makes it even more of a challenge to decipher another's comments on the topic of rape. At first glance, it appeared that Dr. Whitley was giving the "rapist" an out. But after reading what Carlie has added to this thread; I can see where I was even misled by the initial post that began this thread.

So, what am I saying...I don't know really...I know this has been one heck of a weekend in HADIT's history (since I've been on here) for threads with a TRIGGER...WOW!!! I do hope everyone gets some rest this weekend and please let us not forget to take our meds.

[carlie]

purple,

This "idiot of a woman" as you call her and the DOD agency she works for

is at least trying to do something.

Why don't you run us a list of anyone else you know of, besides those that have been raped, even trying to attempt to begin making some type of change at DOD.

I would welcome a list of any do-gooders that you know,and are supporting their efforts,and I will be glad to also give them my support.

Of course some of this is more lip service and cover their azz -- but when enough

lip service and CYA keeps happening things will change.

Heck no - the woman should not be fired - at least she has some form of authority and the backing of the agency that employs her, to put some danged advertising posters out there.

Even if it's minute - it at least provides a chance - put out in the open to some twisted azz hole that's going to be "real nice" and buy a person a bunch of drinks -- that if some one is blitzed drunk -- then concensual sex is not even possible.

It's also putting bystander's on notice -- to say something to the azz hole and help

try and defend an intoxicated or drugged person from someone having sex with them when they don't even know what's going on.

I do not see this topic in any way what so ever, that the DOD is attempting to minimize rape anymore by producing these posters, than they have in the past, but I do see it - just the opposite.

If you read the postings I put here and had some rationale thinking going on

you very simply, in no way could come to the conclusion that she is

"takeing the side of rapists in the military and those (like this woman) who are obviously on their side" Here's a few more links you might want to check out befor continuing to degrade a person and their consistant efforts to change policy for those that have suffered MST. You have come across so bitter in this thread so I'm just going to point out once more -

lady, we have several member's on HADIT that have experienced MST and have daily/ weekly severe effects on our daily life.

For us, there is still one wonderful , joyus aspect of our MST - we were not left the same way, Marine Lance Corporal Maria Lauterbach was. I hope you have time to read some of these.

jmho,

carlie

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/17/military.assaults/

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/20...exual-assa.html

http://www.sapr.mil/HomePage.aspx?Topic=Ab...directorbio.htm

http://nationalsecurity.oversight.house.go...ory.asp?ID=2165

http://feminist.org/news/newsbyte/uswirestory.asp?id=11275

http://endabuse.org/content/news/detail/1023

News

Sexual Assault in the Military Underreported

Aug 27, 2008

Women serving in the military today "are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than to be killed by enemy fire in Iraq," Representative Jane Harman (D-CA) charged at a contentious House hearing in late July at which the Government Accountability Office (GAO) reported that rape and sexual assault in the military may be under-reported by as much as half. In August, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) called for an investigation into the way the Pentagon is handling sexual assaults of servicemembers.

The GAO survey at 14 military installations found that 103 servicemembers said they had been sexually assaulted in the last year, and 52 did not report their assaults. The reasons for the non-reporting were that servicemembers believed nothing would be done about it, or they feared being ostracized or ridiculed for coming forward, becoming the subject of gossip, or having their careers harmed as a result of reporting.

The GAO's preliminary report also found serious problems in implementation of the sexual assault prevention and response programs run by the Department of Defense (DOD) and the Coast Guard.

The same day it was released, the House of Representatives Oversight and Government Reform Committee's national security and foreign affairs panel held a hearing on sexual violence in the military at which Dr. Kaye Whitley, Director of the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office, was barred from testifying by a more senior officer, despite a subpoena to do so.

Deputy Defense Undersecretary Michael Dominguez angered House leaders by refusing to allow Dr. Whitley to testify. Dominguez told lawmakers he knew everything about the program, and therefore Whitley was not needed.

Committee Chairman Henry Waxman (D-CA) responded, "I don't know who you think elected you to defy the Congress of the United States," reports ABC News. Ranking member Chris Shays (R-CT) vowed to support Chairman Waxman's effort to hold the two in contempt.

Mary Lauterbach, the mother of the murdered, pregnant Marine Maria Lauterbach, did testify before the House panel. She told lawmakers that the military must change the way it deals with sexual assault. "I believe Maria would be alive today if the Marine system had been different," she testified.

A week after the hearing, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton called for an investigation into the Pentagon's handling of sexual assaults of servicemembers. In a letter to Carl Levin, who chairs the Senate Armed Services Committee, Senator Clinton requested a public hearing to examine the new GAO findings. "I am deeply concerned by the Pentagon's inadequate response to sexual assaults on our troops and the administration's unwillingness to answer questions about this important issue," she wrote. "Servicemembers who brave so many dangers while defending our nation deserve better."

Other Findings

The GAO report also found that the DOD has failed to provide adequate guidance on implementing sexual assault prevention and response programs, leaving many servicemembers at greater risk for assault.

Most, but not all commanders support the new sexual assault prevention and response programs. Commanders play a critical role in the system and when they are not supportive, personnel under their command may have less information about sexual assault prevention and response policies, and less access to remedies. They also will have a more limited understanding of options for reporting assaults – restricted reporting, which allows a victim to confidentially disclose an alleged sexual assault without initiating a criminal investigation, and unrestricted reporting, which results in an investigation.

"Although the DOD and the Coast Guard have established some mechanisms for overseeing reports of sexual assault, neither has developed an oversight framework – including clear objectives, milestones, performance measures, and criteria for measuring progress – to guide their efforts," the GAO's report finds. It also concluded that the military does not have adequate mental health resources to treat victims of sexual assault.

In 2004, Congress required the Secretary of Defense to develop a comprehensive policy for the DOD on the prevention of and response to sexual assaults involving members of the Armed Forces.

Preliminary Observations on DOD's and the Coast Guard's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Programs is available at, www.gao.gov/new.items/d081013t.pdf. The full report is expected later this month.

Mike R,In no way has this woman insinuated that she thinks rape is OK

if someone is sober and that's a fact.

carlie

ladypoetry85,

You posted,

"Does anyone have Dr. Whitely mailing address? If so would you be so kind as to send it to me? This lie that they (DOD/VA) are telling that makes it seem that most if not all of the rape cases in the military are alcohol related needs to stopped, put down. and we can all attend the memorial service!

The campaign should say:

If you rape you are setting yourself up for a date with the electric chair! B) ".

ladypoetry85,

Here is a biographical link that will probably provide you with a contact address,

you may have to dig a little deeper to get it.

From what I've been able to find over the last two days of research is that statistics show about 25 % of all reported rapes have alcohol involved one way or another.

There are many times that only the perpertrator has ingested drugs or alcohol.

I agree with the electric chair, lethal injection, a cap directly through the temple with my magnum.

jmho,

carlie

Edited April 4, 2009 by carlie

[purple]

OMG.

I will stand my ground and not let anyone BS me into changing my mind. I know better.

I've done my own research and don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself to know what's really going on in the DoD.

And that's my opinion.

[rentalguy1]

I will stand my ground and not let anyone BS me into changing my mind. I know better.

And that's my opinion.

You go for it! You've earned the right to take this stance and to carry that opinion. I will not deny you your due. I just wish that I had known more about this problem when I served so that I could have maybe done my part to help out our sisters.

[luvHIM]

I've done my own research and don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself to know what's really going on in the DoD.

Now see, this is where you lose me. You begin a thread and get upset when your info is challenged. But make a statement like the one above. Are you posting to help vets, especially female veterans, or to keep up dandruff.

Purple, I'm not mad at you or have a problem with you...before you take my post to that extreme. I'm just wondering why, if you have info to the contrary of what Carlie has posted, you don't share it with those of us who started out in your corner...that was until we were presented with different facts.

You indicated by your post that you don't need to "prove anything to anyone but myself to know what's really going on in the DoD." So, do tell. What do you know that we apparently have not been so privileged to discover on our own?