tdiu Will I Escape My Anti-Social World

[82airborne]

Well this is a new thread. I have completed a 16 week course of psychotherapy in a group of about 10-15 people. I have realized I prefer being alone away from strangers. I hate going to hospitals and it's a bunch of STrANGE individuals around me. Right now I'm feeling extra jittery lightheaded shaky all of the above. My question is how will psychs are MEDS stop these crazy thoughts that I have. Will I stay jittery. I swear I take about close to tn pills a day my primary are physician says that my liver points are up. It could be because of the pills I don't know. That's one reason I been paranoid of going to the doctor. When I didn't go to the doctor all my lab results was fine. Now that I keep current with doctors it seems my health s getting worse and worse. Ok I'm 90% disabled my income is ok and stable but it as done nothing far as my mind and the way I think. So I realize like a said months ago no money in the world would benefit you if your mind isn't right. So yes I plan on staying in therapy just not group counseling. I will only leave the house for doctor visits and psych visits. I will avoid being around strangers because I still have a very violent side that's easily provoked. This February I turn 40. Will I part I doubt it. I have no real. Desire to party with others. Even with my family I have mild desires of being with. So this is where I'm at right now. My insurance waiver has been waived for 10,000 dollars of insurance I called the insurance to check and make sure I was right because in my health right now death. Is certan to my future. I told her I was 90% disabled and my fees was waived she said the only way it was waived if I was Lund totally disabled. So I guess they got me at 10O% disable they just haven't told me. I don't know. I plan on calling the 800 number to check to see if I need to submit anything for the tdiu part of my claim. OOOOH well today starts a new chapter of my life after group therapy. Once again THANX for having me one more time. This place have helped me get through many miserable nights when insomnia reared it's ugly head after I wrote out my thoughts on here I was able to go to sleep so I guess venting helps

[82airborne]

Airborne,

If I have bad nightmares, I can't go right back to sleep, or the same dream wants to come back. So sometimes it helps me to get up just for a bit. I have heard that it is good to get up and drink a glass of water before you go back to bed.

Have you considered sleeping with a light on when the dark is bothering you?

No I haven't thought about a night light. The things I see in the dark DONT bother me. It's the stupid dreams and waking up not sleeping a full night. I do get up and go smoke a ciggy to calm myself down. Every night I go through this. Nightmare. I been told by family and friends if I change my thoughts then my dreams will change. I have to admit I'm full of dark thoughts but how do I change the thoughts that plague my minds. I don't think these thoughts on purpose they just come out the blue. OOOH well GOOOD mourning world.

[82airborne]

Well I've stopped taking ambien and guess what my ears is ringing even louder than before. I was just having to many issues with my throat. I wonder what will happen if i just stop taking everything. I know I'm not GOIN to stop but good lord I've been having major dizzy spells. To tell YALL the truth I feel like punching a wall big time. I made a doctors appointment at the va for Wednesday to see if they can help me also I can barely hear now. Man oh man I just feel like being left alone people talking to me and I can't here what they saying and I gotta say huh whatcha say huh. I can't wait to move out of this city so I can get the hell away from everybody. Nobody to come over and talk to me and I can't her what they are saying. I just wanna get away left alone I just feel numb dizzy aggravated my hands is still shaky really I'm glad I don't have to work because I couldn't deal with stupid co workers are even a boss it wouldn't be a good situation all I can do is sit at home and try to ride out these violent spurts I have. I'm also nauseous really this feel like one big stupid dream that I KANT escape. IM up to 8 prazosin for nightmares and guess what I'm still having violent dreams emotional as well people don't understand what I'm GOIN thru I don't understand what I'm going thru. The sooner I leave this area the better. So I will still keep myself locked away while I'm feeling this way in the wrong situation I will snap in seconds. OOOH well all I'm waiting on is my credit score to go up so I can get approved for a house then I'm away from everybody I love my friends and family but I wanna love them from a distance the feelings I'm having could be WITHDRAWL from not taking ambien. Well it's almost time to enter a hellish night just to wake up at 1-2 am and hallucinate some creature sitting on top of my gal. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[Navy04]

Boy I know about dry mouth. I take 12 different meds and when I wake up in the morning, I feel like a family of Spiders have been nesting in my mouth, Lol. I sleep 3 to 4 hours a night, and have been like that for years. Luckily for me I am a morning person. I get up early and dress my girls and get them ready for school. They are sitting next to me watching Clifford the Big Red Dog, Lol. I never realized how tired we get, because we don't sleep much. My wife said that she hates my breathing and how I dream and cry at night. I used to think that PTSD was a made up word for Vietnam vets, but as I have learned the last 5 years, PTSD affects so much of our lives, and I don't have hope that mine will ever get better. God bless you guys and I am glad that we made it thru another year. May 2014 be a better year for all of us.

[Loose Cannon]

I had to back down (at my doctors advice) from taking 6 Prazosin pills to 4 because of feeling dizzy and lightheaded. By taking 7 pills, you may be experiencing the same side effect. Best advice I could give you is to consult with your doctors before completely eliminating a prescribed med. Each person reacts differently to meds...what works for some at a certain dose may not work for others. I hope during your Wed appointment you can tell the doc everything you've been experiencing and he/she can "tweak" your meds to get you better results. Hang tough...PTSD is horrible but if you can get through the pain you will come out a better person!

We love you brother!!!!

LC

[82airborne]

Boy I know about dry mouth. I take 12 different meds and when I wake up in the morning, I feel like a family of Spiders have been nesting in my mouth, Lol. I sleep 3 to 4 hours a night, and have been like that for years. Luckily for me I am a morning person. I get up early and dress my girls and get them ready for school. They are sitting next to me watching Clifford the Big Red Dog, Lol. I never realized how tired we get, because we don't sleep much. My wife said that she hates my breathing and how I dream and cry at night. I used to think that PTSD was a made up word for Vietnam vets, but as I have learned the last 5 years, PTSD affects so much of our lives, and I don't have hope that mine will ever get better. God bless you guys and I am glad that we made it thru another year. May 2014 be a better year for all of us.

Yeah the dry mouth sucks.

[Navy04]

SSD Doc just called me, and said that my PTSD exam for SSDI has been moved up to Jan 13, next Monday, instead of Feb 3. I am so nervous and he said that my wife can drive me to the appointment, but she can not go in examination room with me, WTH. I just hate having to relive all the bad stuff all the time, don't they know that we just want to be left alone. Sorry for the rambling.