Years And Years.. And So So Many Tears

[Berta]

Yes, sweet victory can be a sad victory. I am so sorry to hear about Gio, Josh........that is a big loss for you.

and I learned to try not to dwell on the horrible reasons VA awarded my 1151 claim........

(and I try to get over the fact that they deliberately tried to cover up their own malpractice.)

I go to the initial VA that was negligent ,every week, and had no problems there when I needed some VA health care many years ago.

You need to hang on and enjoy this victory Josh........the best that you can, and many of us here understand exactly how you feel.

I think us 1151ers help others out there.

Believe me malpractice occurs at the best hospitals in the world and isn't just at the VA.

There is a lot to be said for forgiveness....But it is very difficult sometimes.

You are alive and have a lot to offer others.

I am going to make time to go over all of your past posts here.......

You NEVER gave up.

Please stay with us here as the VA decides the rating...... and it better be a GOOD one!

[Josh]

Thank you ever so much Berta for your comment regarding Gio. FYI I returned to the US about 3 weeks ago after 13 years living in Colombia and I now am repeatedly go through one after the other waves of feelings like I am wandering in a dreamscape.

I have been away for so long Berta that I do not even know what "goodies" I have archived here on Hadit during that time.

Before leaving there, I burned all the paperwork accumulated while in Colombia but brought back 5 hard drives I saved over the years. I would like to transfer that information but do not want to hook those drives to my new system here. The info is retrievable, I will just need to track down a service to retrieve it this coming year. Additionally, I have all Gio and I's photos on those drives so absolutely must retrieve that data.

Shyne-I, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I am working on moving forward at this point and breaking out of the haze.

Josh (El Gringo) Imagine, I was given this nickname there years ago.... Home so good to be home.... so good.

[killemall]

Way to hang in there

[MRRRR5]

Josh, you persevered through this and won; congrats to you; sorry for your loss of Gio too and hope you find comfort for your pain.

[Josh]

I must share Giovanna and I's story. We actually met on the internet when I was in the nursing home referred to in the 1151 claim. She knew there was something "physically" going on, but I was very hesitant to share what was happening. She and I were in contact multiple times per day sharing music and thoughts for several months on a program called ICQ. Finally, she said she knew there was something wrong and quietly requested I share the secret with her. At the time I was at the doctors' total mercy knowing I had to get the antibiotics to live or I would certainly die a slow and painful death. How do you tell somebody this?

Gio in her heart and soul, knew this was serious and I was not twisting any truths with her. At the time, she had be doing allot of flying and had saved up enough miles to get a round trip ticket between the US and Colombia. Gio had no idea who I was and decided to offer me that ticket flying me down to get help. The Great Escape was being planned. Gio knew I was a desperate soul and chose to hold me close and shower her good graces upon me so I could get the Meds (Long term IV antibiotics) I so desperately needed. When I arrived in August 1999, she met me at the airport outside of Cartagena and had two of her friends support me as they took me into her room lying me down on her bed. She did not even know who the heck I was and scooped me up like a lost feather.... She was my friend, nurse, phisical therapist everything rolled into one. (((((((((((((Gio))))))))))) <- this is a big hug for Gio. So many times did we share this symbolism together on-line.

She organized and brought doctors into her home to review my case. As Berta knows, I knew there had been an error and I did not want to die of an untreated CNS infection that had been knocking me to the ground for years at that point.

Imagine, this was all taking place at the "dawn of the Internet Age" Before 9/11, before the internet was high speed, What was high speed for us at the time? A 48Kbs phone modem. There was definitely much less "Border Security." So what did she do? She sent me several CASES of 1 gram ampenicillin tablets to get me by until I could make down there. Of the 4, 500 tablet containing cases she sent only one got snagged by customs. That too has a story behind it trust me.

There is so much to share that I really need to outline this. It is a movie with defiance, pain, heartbreak and true love wrapped into one. Giovanna Ghisays-Zarur was my one and only true love who saved my life and in the end I could do nothing to save her's. So heartbreaking truly. A grieving process I must open up to clearly.

Gio's intervention in my life is a movie no doubt and the total story, as those of you who have read in the attached pages is not over yet. I even hope more than anything that my case brings a new vision of what the unknown mystery disease MS is. I have sufficient information for a doctoral thesis but what is important is to divide and conquer that monster. Imagine I was in medical school and dropped out. At this point, those credentials, had I finished, would serve me well, but that was a long time ago..

The hard drives I mentioned above have all our history and including our initial contact on the internet as we knew even then this was a story people would desire to share.

Please excuse my skipping huge sections of the history, but it is good for me to be caught in the "swirl" of events which are still unfolding as I write this message to my friends on Hadit.

Yes, I see I need to write and tell the story. Surely, reading the attached documents, you can tell there was something very subliminal taking place. Very twisted and beautiful art unfolding at the same time.

It is turning out to be almost a symphony.... A very special piece of music that reaches up into the heavens above and deep into the soul. The notes are so strong, powerful and mix so divinely, they take my breath away.

If you can get access to it, locate the CD "Celine: These Are Special Times" (1) It has 16 songs for the Holidays and listen to "Oh Holy NIght." When I listen to it and think of Gio and know she is very close to God and Mother Mary.

Love life my friends here on Hadit.

Touch somebody you love and share a special moment these holidays.

Josh

I feel much better now thank you.... I hope you do too. Bless all here.

1. www.epicrecords.com

7464-69523

Edited December 17, 2013 by Josh

[Notorious Kelly]

Sounds like an epic romance, Josh.

Wonder if you'd find solace in writing it as a story for possible publication.