Va disability & C&P question regarding veteran with suicide risk

[Lagin02]

So my husband is going though the VA disability process. He began treatment in April doing CPT which aggravated his symptoms immensely. In May, he was fired from the job he has held for 8 years. In June, he was put on disability leave from his National Guard unit after command became aware of his suicide risk and they have mandated that he continues the therapy which is only making the situation worse. He has been in for 15 years and most likely will be medically chaptered out which has worsened his depression significantly. Due to his suicidal thoughts I am trying to manage this financial crisis as best I can because I’m afraid he is being pushed over the edge. He just stares off into space and sits in our basement. I filed for VA disability at the beginning of June because prior to all this he was our only source of income. I left my job a couple months before he was fired because my income was not enough to cover daycare after our son was born. I can’t leave him alone with the kids in the state he is in right now. I payed off our bills for a couple months with our savings but we only have a month left before we will be homeless. I also expedited his claim due to financial hardship in June. His claim seems open and shut to me. He did is C&P exam in July 31st but the VA still haven’t received the report (it was a VA doctor that did it not a contractor).  I called on Thursday to ask where it is and was told “it’s not ready yet” by the office where it was conducted. 

My understanding is you must prove three things:

The stressor:

His stressor occurred in Iraq in 2007. There was a CID investigation due to the circumstances around the event and there are still people in his unit that were in Iraq with him and knew what happened. I don’t want to write details because it would defeat the purpose of confidentiality but there is no denying that it was extremely traumatic and involved death and serious injury of service members in a small convoy. I also have a memorandum signed by the commander sending my husband to the combat stress unit in Iraq after the incident when he became suicidal. In my mind there is no denying the stressor. 

A current diagnosis: 

He is currently under treatment for PTSD at the VA doing CPT and is on medication. His team wants him to do an in-patient program in Chicago but as it stands with our impending homelessness, it just isn’t an opinion right now. 

The Nexus: 

He marked off symptoms of ptsd on his demobilization paperwork and stated he encountered stressors. In his periodic health assessment 6-month and also 1 year follow-ups for his Iraq deployment it shows he endorsed every symptom of PTSD and one Depression question. He was supposed to be referred to mental health according to this form but for whatever reason it slipped through the cracks. His current treatment is focused on the events that occurred during his first deployment. 

I called the VA homeless assistance line and was told that they will place my husband in transitional housing but me and our children (6-month-old and 9-years-old) will need to “find somewhere else to go.” I called the White House VA line and was told “I am so sorry but I don’t know what else I can tell you to do” His ebenifits portal broke 6 weeks ago due to duplicate files and was supposed to be fixed 3 weeks ago but is still broken. I have called veteran resources but all in our area require we have a “resolution” if they assist which we don’t because I don’t know if or when he will start to improve. 

So if your still with me, I have a couple questions: 

How long does it take for the doctor to send a C&P exam? Is it normal that it wouldn’t be don’t weeks after the exam? 

What are the chances that this will be resolved before the end of September when we will be homeless? If we do become homeless how do we follow up with the case with no address? 

Will the transitional housing be able to make sure he doesn’t follow through with his suicidal thoughts? I’m afraid that separating our family and having to toss everything we have build over the last 10 years will push him over the edge and I won’t be there to make sure he is okay. 

Is there anything else I can or should be doing? 

Is there any chance he could get better soon? Like it gets really bad but than starts then better? He has a bachelor’s degree and if he stops staring off into space and having these episodes he could get a job paying good money or I can work and he can watch the kids. I can’t imagine throwing everything we own in a dumpster, having my family torn apart, and taking my kids to a homeless shelter. I don’t even know how to explain it to my 9-year-old. He always struggled but at least he was functioning by numbing everything and isolation prior to opening this can of worms. We were financially comfortable so I just don’t understand how things got so bad so fast.

[Lagin02]

59 minutes ago, Berta said:

I don't know if it is the same type on program you mentioned that  my husband was in. Inhouse 21 days at the Buffalo VAMC.All combat vets.

 

It is a three week program through Rush University and Wounded Warriors Project. Is there any reason the VA would be referring him outside the VA system? 

1 hour ago, Berta said:

was the first really effective treatment he got from VA, in addition to a VA PTSD  psychologist who, after a battle I had with them, started to treat him. His other VA psychologist was a wonderful man, but was the VAMC's employee Shrink

How do you get them to talk to you? I tried calling in when he started to become suicidal and they told me to “have the veteran call in.” If that was an option, I would have done that to begin with but he’s not rational sometimes. 

59 minutes ago, Berta said:

Survival guilt causes  a lot of anger in combat veterans, but they can learn to cope with anger better

This makes sense because that is what seems to be driving many of his issues. He made a decision that led to the insistent and blames himself. It’s not even rational as anyone would have made the same call but there is no talking him out of it.

59 minutes ago, Berta said:

Here in NY if someone is fired they can collect unemployment insurance,if they have paid into the UC system enough......butmaybe he couldn't because of the drill pay...???

You can here but not when your terminated for misconduct. He had a civilian job. With the guard you only drill one weekend out of the month when inactive. He went off on his boss and called her some pretty derogatory things. The guard is still paying him for drill even though he can’t attend until “a physician determines his fitness for duty” but it’s only about $300 a month. 

 

1 hour ago, Berta said:

worked at a VA Vet center and his symptom of staring, and tuning everything out , I guess you might call it ? ,is something I never saw in the PTSD vets I worked with.I am assuming he never had any type of TBI inservice?

 

He also has been diagnosed by the VA with Major Depression. He did get a TBI but he never showed up for his appointment for that. I wonder if this isn’t also an issue because he has delayed responses. Like it takes so long for him to respond that people end up repeating themselves because they think he didn’t hear them. Maybe an issue with his receptive language? I’m pretty sure the staring off into space started when he started taking medication though. I don’t know! The VA doesn’t really tell me anything and he doesn’t talk to me so the only things I know, I’ve read in his blue button notes. 

I really hope your right. I thought treatment would make him better. He just keeps spiraling and I don’t know how much lower this can go. I’m afraid I’m going to lose him. 

[Berta]

Thanks for clarifying-Geeky Squid- my husband had flashbacks often during every day- but described them Exactly as you did-

a movie transposed over his vision....that he could see through, but he did not externally acknowledge them,worked at very good jobs until he had a stroke and never had an auto accident or anything because of them.

For 17 years he thought he was the only veteran in the country who had these flashbacks of Vietnam and that he was simply  crazy and didn't want anyone to know about them.

Of course no PTSD veteran is crazy!!!!!

You are correct here as well:

"These can be much worse in the grander scheme of things because they include a potential danger to others if the veterans "sees" them as an enemy during the flashback."

After my husband had a stroke, he reacted differently to the flashbacks sometimes....As I was driving down a steep country hill about to take a bend in the road, he  started to punch me in the arm , screaming that the enemy was 'down there',in a field below us.

It was farmers plowing the field with tractors but he thought they were tanks.

Many people have flashbacks, not as severe as veteran's do- I saw my husband collapse in our barn over and over again, for about 2 years, every time I went into the barn.He died as I gave him CPR-

But I didn't really 'see' that at all - it is just a horrific memory I cant forget. I am so grateful I knew CPR and could at least try  to revive him. He has Peace with Honor. And is still loved and missed and never knew his daughter went to Vietnam twice and is fluent in Vietnamese (and veteran-USAF Intel)-well maybe he does know- he changed our lives forever.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 12, 2019 by Berta

[Lagin02]

3 hours ago, Buck52 said:

what you have did is about all you can do..as for as being homeless  if your family gets kicked to the street...Are they any =family you and your hubby/kids can go stay with? until these issues are solved? or a good friend? i

Fortunately, I discovered my husband had a TSP which can get us to December 1st: if it’s still not resolved by than my best friend said we could stay with her. 

 

3 hours ago, Buck52 said:

unfortunately the politicians do nothing to help veterans like your hubby  maybe they are afraid they will lose some of their high paying income of around 250.000 a year or more   grrrrrrrrrrr

This is what I’m afraid of because I read it can take even longer to resolve but I followed he advise of VetQuest, Geekysquid, and Shrekthetank1 and informed (threatened) them that I had contact the media. However, I’m hoping that it doesn’t come to actually having to humiliate our family like that

 

3 hours ago, Buck52 said:

We have plenty of room and an extra bedroom you and your family would be welcome to come stay with us for free  no cost to you or your family what so ever  food and shelter is something we give to our fellow brother in dire need unconditionally...but we realize you maybe in another state far away.....but do try  and seek help from family and friends....if theres no one that will help...well then you know who your friends once were

You are so kind! I really appreciate the offer! Fortunately, my best friend said we could stay with her if needed. She lives in my daughter’s district too so she won’t have to switch schools. 

I am in awe of the kindness and generosity shown on this site. So many of you have taken time out of what I’m sure are busy schedules to help and answer questions. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart! I honestly don’t know what I would have done without everyone providing me with the information I need to advocate for my husband. Thank you for offering us a place to stay! It means so much to know there are kind hearted people like you, VetQuest,  Shrekthetank1, and of course (even though he will never admit it), GeekySquid. 

[GeekySquid]

29 minutes ago, Berta said:

he reacted differently to the flashbacks sometimes.

@Berta this is so sad and so potentially dangerous for those around that particular vet. there is no standard formula to go by to "avoid" having a flashback.

In my case, every person I see face to face, has a dismembered body part over their left shoulder. I consciously know they are not really there, but I have been dealing with this for decades. The years of "practice" have helped me not "stare off into space" as much as I used to.

In fact if they didn't appear, I think I would feel a sense of loss, like a friend has been lost to me for some reason. How crazy is that?

In my normal times there is only one body part per person during the time I am directly looking at them. If I look away, the body part could change or not. If I am speaking to a crowd there can be hundreds, even thousands, of dismembered body parts floating in my field of vision. It is one of the reasons I don't do concerts and big crowds like parades or other public events.

In an odd way I am fortunate in that when my life stresses increase beyond my ability to handle them, I get two body parts per person instead of one.

That is a visual clue for me to rearrange my life, take a break, step away, do what i need to reduce the stresses and focus on my mental health.

Those around me know this and are clued into the fact if I stare off in the distance for more than a minute, that they need to break my stare to short circuit these events.

This does not work for every veteran, and frankly could get dangerous in some cases.

For me, when things get bad, it causes me to withdraw from society in the physical sense. This started long before the Internet, so I developed that as a coping mechanism to reduce the stresses. Now with computer technology, I can work remotely which actually improves my ability to "get back to normal" much quicker.

I have great empathy for the OP, and you as well, in having to deal with this. It is an almost impossible thing for the veteran to describe while in the middle of an event. Sometimes they just have to play out, and sometimes they are on a loop, playing over and over and over.

[GeekySquid]

32 minutes ago, Lagin02 said:

It means so much to know there are kind hearted people like you,

you keep trying to ruin my reputation with that kind of talk.

I want you to get this part of your life behind you and get to the work of getting your family better. I want to read a detailed, and name dropping, I WON post here on hadit. I want to see you "pay it forward" once you have won your claims.

Most of all I want YOU, and I do mean YOU, to get to a point where YOU are getting a little therapy for yourself.

The stresses of this take an invisible toll and that can harm you and your family. Getting into one on one or group therapy can limit those stresses. you husband and children need you to be strong. YOU need YOU to be healthy, mentally and physically, to meet their needs.

You do that by meeting your own needs first. You cannot really help others if you are not taking care of yourself.

[Lagin02]

So I just checked my husband’s ebenifits and we finally have movement! It went into preparation for decision! Estimated completion between 9/17-9/23.