ptsd Emergent Need For Advice And Help Vet To Vet

[spike]

I have spoken to many counselors at the VA and it seemingly makes my PTSD issues even worse. I've looked into the Track 1 Program and the PTSD weekly counseling. It has created maritial issues in our relationship. My wife has left me, been gone and said that it's just getting worse. She doesn't know if she can trust someone who is on edge all the time and sometimes just doesn't want to be as social as I once was. Counselor told my wife when your husband (me) gets upset, leave him alone and don't bother him....that created issues as well. My wife leaving has resulted in weight loss of 23 lbs in less than 2 weeks, severe depression and having nightmares with my normal PTSD nightmares. What I am looking is anyone can help give advice to me.

saunderson.usmc@gmail.com

we can then share contact info if you should be so inclined to helping this vet from spiraling even worse.

VA doesn't help worth crap i've been counseling for about a year or so (constant)

[spike]

I sure hope you guys are right. I have gotten to my wits end. I am beyond destroyed. I am hurt. I am emotionally tapped out. I am failed. Ugh. I am going to self admit to the Batavia Track I on Monday. Guys, I am sorry I have failed all of you. I once was strong, but now I am weak. I once was ready to fight for everyone, but now I can't fix my own life. I once was a Marine, but that Marine has now wrecked my life. I am stripped of all my pride and determination. I am what I am. Without my step kids and wife I feel that I have not only lost the battle but lost the war. I can not seem to get on track, and the pain has teamed with all the pain I suffered when I witnessed some 30 guys in my unit die before my eyes and in my arms. I am now nothing but a shell. Here is the funny thing...

...I have been seen the blood that sheds after war.

...I have lost many friends and loved ones to acts that no man should witness.

...I have have gone through some hell for 90 days and earned the title Marine.

...I have been able to look in the face of death, (been hit by a car, guns pulled on head, been knifed) and survived.

Because I have been able to block out the pain and mental angish.

But the Marines did not train me to deal with a lost love.

But the Marines did not train me on how to deal with losing a family.

But the Marines never trained me on how to deal with this.

I have no training on how to protect my heart and soul. They are crushed. What made a good Marine great was his heart.

I can repel a building, I can survive an enemy attack, I can mend physical wounds, but where is the training to mend the greatest pain. This pain is bringing an overwhelming attack on my heart, mind and soul.

Carry on,

Spike

[Pete53]

Spike:

There is always a lot of stuff that swirls around us and the simple fact is no matter how bleak there are people who learn to deal with problems, Its not what is going on its how you react to it.

At this time in your life give yourself a time out and deal with your stuff. Later you will be in better shape. I really wish you the best but trust me on one thing no matter how bad it looks things will change.

You will have many better days and maybe a few worse but that is what makes life interesting.

Bless You

Pete

[Jay Johnson]

You cannot fail at that which you have no control. You've been through hell and back and you're still here, so you should have faith that you will get over this hurdle regardless of whether or not you are prepared to handle it.

Does basic training really prepare anyone for the horrors of war? Did the military prepare you for life after service?......you have more strength than you know; just hang in there and lean on whomever you can until you get through this.

BTW, sometimes it's better to pull away in a relationship in order to bring things back together; at times, pushing a relationship on someone can actually drive them further apart......get the help you need to stabilize and let your wife come to you. If she elects not to, then it was not meant to be:-(

[john999]

Spike

When you start to change everyone around you has to adjust. This can cause stress, but you have to grow and deal with your issues. Certain things get left behind in the process. Take care of yourself first.

[spike]

Whew people, I am embarrased. I have had a very difficult month in the past month. I have lost over 30 lbs due to stress and anxiety in less than 3 weeks. I love my wife dearly, but I have found my "happy place" per se...to make a joke of the situation and try to shruge it off. I have come to the conclusion that I have had to make some treatment changes and medication changes as the current medicine I guess I have not been working as best it should. I only can save my wife if I have all my ducks in a row (or best possible situation). If she so chooses to jump on my life raft then so be it. She's missing out. Her life has gone from peace and tranquility to hell in a hand basket and I've been trying to keep her afloat at the expense of my sanity. I am doing a little better, as I have been through track I...i dont believe I am better per se, but a little more equipped to better understand I am beginning to lose it and (almost like a firedrill...a little more clearly be able to adapt to the situation and get ahold of my mental state). It's hard guys and gals. I lost 35 Marines in less than 30 days. The USMC base GROUP General swept it under the table and no body spoke about it. Lt Colonel immediately was relieved of command and it's just hard when you were seemingly always in the "crap" at hip level at all times. Sometimes when I am trying to balance a million things, home life, helping veterans, daily life and sometimes when I get caught off guard by the media all at once about losing Marines.....it is almost like a virus on a computer and just starts tearing me apart. Thanks for everyone understanding to a point and "doing the best to keep me straight". It's somewhat embarrasing.

[Pete53]

Spike:

No reason to be embarrassed. I am proud that you were able to come to Hadit and spill your guts. I hope that you learned that you are not alone and that you don't have to carry the weight of the world by yourself.

I don't know what is going to happen with your wife but I feel that whatever does you are going to be better off than before.

God Bless You,

Pete