Sorry Been Gone

[spike]

Sorry everyone. Yes, this is *NOT* my direct line but if anyone wants to get a hold of me until my world changes xxx xxx xxxx. I've been through some very HORRIBLE things as of lately.

NOTE: phone number deleted by me - please do not post personal identifiying information on the board, if you want you may pm or email members with your personal information. This is for your own protection.

[Ron II]

I wish to add two comments.

Al Anon, as stated by Pete53, would be a great help to you.

One has to help himself/herself in order for outside influences to enhance the process of healing.

Good luck...

[cowgirl]

Spike, I hear you and your concerns. A thought here, can you contact someone to help you 'prioritize' what you need to do? I hope so, if not maybe start a list for yourself. Let me think for a moment here if you don't mind. Are your house and food needs taken care of? Are the kids healthy and cared for? Are you taking your vitamins? Okay, enough of my thinking aloud, need to take my vitamins also, jsut hope they're not expired! Ha.

Spike, its during this special winter season that I pause and take inventory of the basics, to give thanks for home, family, for freinds. As much as I avoid routines, honestly I and my family routine helps. Dinner together at the table (when possible) and outside activities with other families.

I read about your concerns here, we at Hadit are keeping you in our prayers, hoping you remember us too. I too belong to vereran service organizations, sure helps me. I get to be charitable towards my community and I also can share stories/jokes with other vets without having to try to explain experiences and acronyms. I mean where else can I tell jokes about latrine duty and starched uniforms that predated contractor services and permanent press? I don't get to all the meetings, but they still like me any ole way!( I think)

I and others here have been through 'stuff', but have made it. I feel that you will do fine and will think of your good health while I bake Snickerdoodle cookies tonight!

cg

Sorry everyone. Yes, this is *NOT* my direct line but if anyone wants to get a hold of me until my world changes xxx xxx xxxx. I've been through some very HORRIBLE things as of lately.

NOTE: phone number deleted by me - please do not post personal identifiying information on the board, if you want you may pm or email members with your personal information. This is for your own protection.

[spike]

Spoke to the LCSW today. He indicated that this astrangement has made it more difficult to get treatment for my PTSD. They seemingly are combining in some of my dreams. I have a 'flash' of military and then a 'flash' of my marriage and then sometimes 'she is in my military flashes'. He said it's 'normal' for Vets with PTSD that this happens. But to be honest, I sometimes feel like a freak/monster. I get so upset that I deal with 'guilt issues' from the Marines. I don't know if I ever put it here, but I have had Marines die in my arms. I've lost almost 35 Marines in less than 30 days while active. I tried to catch a Marine buddy of mine from jumping from a 2nd Story ( I caught him, but wasn't strong enough to keep him from cracking his neck on the ground), I also saved 3 Marines off of HWY 258 and the one who wouldn't listen to me drove away drunk and was um (this is hard to put here but I'm muddling through this) was decapitated by a 54 ft tractor trailer. Another Jarhead, at the reserve barracks (renovation of our barracks) kept getting in trouble, his gf broke up with him. Needless to say, I found him hung in his from his rack. the LCSW, believes i am trying to 'make up' for lost souls and don't want to be the reason one more person gets hurt on my watch. He calls it the "Knight in shining Armour' complex. Did I ever tell you that she's left me before and the person she was staying put knives to her throat. I used all my 'resources' to extract her from that situation. Ugh. Only thing that keeps ringing in my head is Semper Fi-Always faithful. I'm not getting involved in her life, but everyone makes it worse for me..... Now you know me a little better. This was hard to put out there, please don't judge me. It's been 6 years to even be able to speak about them.

[john999]

Spike

I hope you can put a lot of gone between your wife and yourself. She sounds like someone who is hell bent on self destruction. Some cannot be saved and they take you down with them. I have known some like that and they are so damaged early in life they just cannot be fixed. You don't want something bad to happen if you lose your temper with all this. She sounds just like poison. Those with a conscience are the ones who get hurt.

John