Spouse Check List When Vet Dies

[betrayed]

Havnt been around in a long time. Lot of stuff going on, been sick, had emergency surgery the end of sep and going in tomorrow for kidney surgery, be in for at least three days, so thats why I am looking for a check list at the last minute to fill out for my wife. Tried to buy land that fell through, screw em I will save my money. Got the VA to finance a stained glass class and the tools and some materials under the ILP Program. Turning my basement into a workshop to build doors, transoms, side lights, all as a unit (and all with leaded glass) just like you buy em in Lowes or somewhere like that, these things sell for over 3K good hobby eh :)

I LOVE DOING LEADED GLASS.

[tssnave]

Betrayed,

Sorry to hear things are tough going right now. I think I'm coming into the thread late so I will pray for you recovery.

Here's a quick link to a Family Documents Checklist I found on the web that I think is a good start. Looks like John D. and I had the same idea only he went to greater lengths (thanks, John, I will check out the links you included in your post).

http://www.legendgroup.com/document.htm

Thanks also to Pete and Berta. I have a spreadsheet as well but don't have everything on a CD. Everyone around me is more technical than I am so this is a great suggestion. Berta, had it not been for you and your previous posts and radio show (which I made my better half listen to with me) I would have never known to say that if I do get 100% IU P&T for my sc bipolar disorder and ever commit suicide while I'm depressed or kill myself in a car wreck while I'm manic for my spouse to get on hadit and tackle the DIC. I don't mean to sound gruesome just getting my ducks in a row.

Berta, the guys from the VFW who did the color guard at my dad's funeral brought everyone to tears. A dear friend of the family who lost her WWII disabled vet husband a couple of months earlier (he got trenchfoot in the war and it tore his veins up over time which was a contribution to his death) was beside herself with grief because she hadn't thought to get a color guard for him when he died. I told her that the color guard was for ALL veterans. Those volunteers do an awesome job.

Betrayed, let us know when you're feeling better. Hang in there. My prayers are with you.

Thanks,

TS Snave

[cloudcroft]

tssnave,

Thanks for your thanks...I thought maybe I had wasted my time/effort posting.

-- John D.

[Berta]

I forgot to mention-if you have a will-put that into the folder-

if a veteran dies without a will they are considered "intestate"

meaning the spouse must handle their estate as an "administrator"- otherwise a will must name an executor-

I think my will only cost 300-400 bucks to get it drawn up.

[tssnave]

John,

I can tell you firsthand that there are a LOT of times I read posts that I find very useful and print off for reference that I don't reply with a post to the thread because I don't have anything to add. That's one of the good things about seeing how many people have looked at a thread - you know that you have had the opportunity to help everyone who looked at the thread even if they didn't post a reply.

When I first came to hadit I didn't know a VSO from a DRO or an NOD from a VCAA. I had to read LOTS before any of it made sense, then posted several questions that had been covered before, couldn't understand the search engine, lurked some more, ect until things started coming together. I still have technical difficulties. ;-)

Please know that yours and others posts are very important, especially when someone is just lurking and learning but doesn't know enough to even ask a related question or really understand what they're reading.

I ask everyone to post the best information you have, facts over opinions work best for me (though opinions are fine so long as you state them as such so I won't think I'm learning a rule, regulation, or law). I always appreciate a link to the CFR, M21-1MR, BVA or CVA case citation used so I can read it in context. Information on actual experience is also very helpful because what I know now but didn't know when I started reading hadit was that the VA does not always operate in accordance with what their stated SOPs are. For someone who is black and white like me, having the reg to know what the VA is supposed to do and having folks share their experience so I know what the VA may do is the best, most well rounded information for me.

Thanks again for your posts on this and other threads. I appreciate your help.

Thanks,

TS

Edited November 14, 2007 by tssnave

[buickx]

John,

God forbid something happens.....but make sure that your dealth certificate states "Died from the complications of Agent Orange"...if you are a Vietnam vet....this is the first thing va looks for to deny your wife her due compensation...I know of several vietnam vets who were denied compensation because the death certificate didn't state this....

[betrayed]

I made a CD with copies to all my kids and wife. Last wishes links to hadit and other important stuff. My passwords bank and credit accounts and anything I think can help.

Also instructions on how and why to think of suing the VA if they kill me.

I did the same, recorded into my digital recorder, download to pc and burn onto cd, voice from the grave. Sealed it, signed across the tape with instructions only to be opened upon death.

still in the hospital (NON VA) get out tomorrow if no fever. surgery yesterday and today, woke up yesterday during the surgery worse experience of my life, then a four hour surgery today pulling rocks out of my kidney, doc told my wife he got them all, if he did it will be the first time in 25 years I have been stone free.............Im doing pretty good tonite

quote name='broncovet' date='Nov 12 2007, 02:13 PM' post='67629'

I dont know where there is such a check list, guy, but I for one promise to do what ever I can do to help her if you dont survive surgery. Show her this website, and give her your username/password. If you have time, introduce her to your favorite VSO, and tell her to call him.

Good luch with surgery, and thanks for serviing our country. I enjoy a lot of freedoms, thanks to guys like you.

quote

vice a versa Broncovet

Thank you to all!

Edited November 15, 2007 by BETRAYED