ptsd Mst / Ptsd Covered Up - 2 Years Into Claims Process

[MSTANDFEDUP]

I will try to make this as straight to the point as possible without triggering.

I have been patient and have waited over two years up until now without making a fus.

I've HAD IT. My case should be very cut and dry as I have a pile a mile high of evidence

to support my claim, however the VA denied.

(Air Force) In 2004 I was sexually harassed by my supervisor. The Military Equal Opportunity office

got involved and opened a case against him. After a one month investigation, he was

CHARGED with 4 counts of sexual harassment and one count of discrimination. He was then

DEMOTED in rank.

I then seperated from the military. Honerable Discharge.

Within 6 months, I went into severe mental stress, psychosis of the mind, due to trauma.

I checked myself into a mental health hospital and was there for 2 weeks. I had stopped

sleeping, had anxiety, flashbacks, was replaying the events again and again, the list goes

on and on.

Over the past 5 years, since the 2004 events, I've been homeless twice, I've been

unable to acquire gainful employment, I've been in and out of mental health and have

since finally in 2008!!!! received access to the VA for MST/PTSD mental health care (4 years

too late). Here is the series of events, and I swear that once I am finished with my claim

I will spend the rest of my life helping women and men who suffer from MST with their VA

claims. I am so upset at this point, today I am triggering all over the place and I'm finally

speaking up.

From 2003-2004 in active duty I was repeatedly harassed, threatened, the list goes on

and I don't want to get into personal details here about the assault by my supervisor.

I discharged in 2004, honerable

In 2005 I contacted the MEO office that held the MEO investigation into the harassment

and requested my documents per the FOIA (Freedom of Information Act). I have a copy

of this letter sent to them. In 2007 I received a letter back, stating the documents had been

destroyed. This was two years too late. I requested in 2005!!!! The letter told me to contact

the Secretary of Department of Defense and that under a 2 year clause the documents were to

be destroyed. I have a copy of this letter and have sent it to my claim file with the VA in 2007.

I also have a copy of the orginal claim statement from MEO during the investigation, I sent this

to the VA in 2007. (made copies at the time of the investigation, which goes over the harassment in detail,

times/dates/places, MEO investigated numerous other people who also confirmed the harassment before he was

charged with the crimes and demoted). I sent a copy of the investigation paperwork into

the VA when I opened my claim for PTSD/MST in 2007.

I spent 2005 until today in and out of mental health hospitals, clinics, etc. all of this documentation

has been sent to the va.

THE VA DOCTORS AT THE LOCAL VA CLAIM I HAVE MST/PTSD and rate me at 48% GAF SCORE.

Their own DOCTORS state that I have PTSD from MST.

I opened my VA claim in 2007 and I'm now at 22 months in waiting. It was first denied, and I sent

a notice of disagreement. It is now supposedly being "expedited" due to having ended up homeless

again. While staying at the homeless shelter, I had a fax sent into the VA claims stating that I was

homeless and in this shelter (letterhead from the shelter). This is when they said it would be expedited.

This was the second time I ended up homeless.

Now a few months have gone by and the VA telephone representatives say they have no record

of an original EXPRESS MAILED DOCUMENT that I sent in 2007 which contained 1) the MEO investigation

paperwork I had copies of 2) a letter from the acting commander at the time in which he talks about

the incidents in the letter. They said they have no record of that from 2007. So I then RE-SENT in

EXPRESS mail and registered mail AGAIN, copies of the same documents.

I finally got up the nerve yesterday to call the base where the events happened. As soon as I called

I triggered and began crying. I called the MEO office and asked about the case documents, again

was told there is no record anymore that they were possibly destroyed in 2005. I expressed my

feelings to this office and I'm now officially going to put in a written complaint to the base commander

about how the entire case was handled back in 2004, how fast it was swept under the carpet, and

how I should have immediately been placed into counseling/mental health treatment immediately

after the incidents occured and immediately after the MEO investigation. The investigation into the

harassment was as bad as the harassment itself. It was first turned on me, then after the month

went by, I was given an apology from the Wing Commander about how this sort of thing would

"never happen under his chain of command again". There is a zero tolerance policy alright, it's a zero

tolerance policy for anyone who SPEAKS UP about harassment/rape.

The VA says the claim is being expedited. They said they are now waiting for records from the

National Personnel Archive and Federal Archieve. Well one more ounce of proof is if they pull the

perpetrators personnel record to see he was DEMOTED.

They can destroy records all day, but if I learned anything at all it was make copies of everything.

I have the basic MEO investigation copies from the investigation, the commanders letter from official

govt email address talking about the events, I guess I have to prove a stressor. What else could

I have to prove, HE WAS CHARGED WITH FOUR COUNTS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ONE COUNT

OF DISCRIMINATION. I suffered through the harassment for one years time, then had to suffer

through the investigation for a month and come home in complete shambles. The VA mental health

doctors claim I have PTSD from MST.

Hello? The VA cannot possibly be this bad with their claims process. I'm at 22 months. I'm fed up

and I'm ready to start speaking out and I can assure these people that the last thing they are going

to want to be out in the news is information regarding how bad my case truly was, and to what extent

it got to. There was a point in 2006 that I began prostituting myself to put food on the table. I gave

up my life, my self esteem was gone, I stopped caring about myself, my life, I almost killed myself

at one point, I was in psychosis of the mind, hiding out in a hotel room afraid to death of anyone in

uniform. I was afraid to even go to the VA for help or anyone else at that point because I was so

mentally stressed and afraid and replaying the events, that I thought someone in uniform would come

hurt me again.

HELLO VA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'm at my limit and I'm close to posting up information for the world

to see about how you, the armed services, and the DOD handles PTSD cases for women and men raped

and abused in the service.

I LOST MY LIFE FOR 5 YEARS!!!

[MSTANDFEDUP]

ok i made this thing on media file it organizes documents

and seperated the catagories

im going to send it to you privately because i cant take my information off the docs there are too many

this is the catagory i made so far

Commander email correspondence

Copy of OJT Record

Evidence of PTSD onset prior to Pregnancy

FOIA Denial

Homeless Shelter Documents

Illegal Orders Medical Flight Line

Illegal Orders- Selling Vehicle

Military Equal Opportunity Case Files

Proof that I was a hardworking AMN

PTSD Mental Health Documents

Security Clearance Taken Away

TDY Incident

This way I can scan the documents and drop them into the folders

Please note this has my sensitive information so I'm sending privately

http://' target="_blank">

[MSTANDFEDUP]

Yes actually the VA is handling my mental health care now

It took a long time to get in but I'm in finally

So far the docs have actually been wonderful

So much better then the civilian docs and I think they understand

PTSD more then the docs I've seen.

On the 8th I have an appointment for follow up, looking at my kidney

issue more in depth (they ran a series of tests just before the holidays)

on the 8th i'm also seeing mental health

So far I am VERY happy with the VA (centers/hospitals) but the claims

process is the VA part I'm mad at. I have no issue with the Va and the

one here has been great once I finally got in. I've never been admitted

for inpatient but I go for outpatient visits and im going to address my new

concerns with my doc on the 8th.

I took the advice about getting a lawyer and there is an organization

in Washington I'm not going to say the name here but I contacted them.

I sent them a package of the documents and they have been great contacting

me and they are looking into the case now. They said the VA failed to send

them documents on their request date but that now they have the document

files from the VA too and a lawyer is looking them over. It's an organization

of lawyers that do pro bono work for veterans and I feel better knowing that

they have the docs, if they pickup the case then I think I will not be handling

it myself anymore I should know if they do pretty soon and the DRO is looking

at it in NY

The docs at the clinic i go to have been looking at my overall health and my

doc knows the truth about the aftermath, i told her how i destroyed my body

and she is great she tells me not to get involved in the bad stuff and to treat

my body with respect now so I really have caring doctors both mental health

and physical health. On the 8th I have organized a list of things I need to talk

to the mental health doc about and hopefully my meds can be straightened out

now that i know how my episodes start and it's with anxiety that rolls and rolls

and rolls. I've been in a light episode since the 28th of Nov. now but I'm glad

it happened otherwise I wouldn't know my health concerns because I was just

going and going and not stopping to think about my health.

[carlie]

MST,

You posted,

"Evidence of PTSD onset prior to Pregnancy"

VBA is going to be looking for Evidence of the MST.

carlie

[john999]

You do know that you can get a private lawyer to take your claim. You don't have to depend on Pro Bono laywers. You have to shop your claim around and if there is enough retro involved many vet laweys may take you claim for a share in the retro. Nothing motivates like money.

[MSTANDFEDUP]

MST,

You posted,

"Evidence of PTSD onset prior to Pregnancy"

VBA is going to be looking for Evidence of the MST.

carlie

Yes something happened prior to the pregnancy during the year that I was harassed.

People think pregnancy and think it is related to the incidents but it is not.

The MST events are in the MEO statement and were confirmed by the MEO Office, the

perpetrator was found guilty of 5 counts total (harassment and discrimination the MEO office stated) and they demoted him in rank in the end.

Looking back now I should have spoke up more about the bleeding being his cause but I was

very afraid by that point. There is a small mention about it in my MEO statement and I've

since highlighted it and added the additional evidence.

The assault on my unborn child (as far as I'm concerned his illegal orders almost leading to my child being killed is also assault to me now), also would be a second traumatic event after the

MST had already onset which might have sped up my PTSD because by the time I got into

the investigation I was very very anxiety and a mess. It had already gone on (the threats and harassment) for so long that I was a mess by the time the investigations started.

Meaning I went through the harassment for the year prior to the pregnancy.

The reason I got pregnant (later) was because I knew my sons father we lived next door to each

other and I thought I fell in love, looking back now I know I clung to him for safety/security

during the worst time (after incidents), we talked about starting a family and I got pregnant so we had sexual relations after the harassment and occurances had already happened, once I got pregnant, the perpetrator laughed and said I shouldn't be pregnant or getting engaged and the harassment continued almost leading to losing my child. Once I was bleeding on bedrest, the harasser was even calling me laughing while I spent a month bleeding. That's when the investigations started.

After that I seperated with honerable discharge. I was so stressed by the end of the military investigation (which lasted 1 month) and after the bleeding I was just beyond my limit of what I could handle anymore. I really wanted to stay in the military so I have a lot of guilt and remorse and for a long time self blame but that is starting to go away and I'm starting to get angry now. I'm not blaming myself anymore, my supervisor (the perpetrator) not only ruined my life at that point in time (my military career) but then I lost so much of my life in the aftermath.

Sorry I don't want to get into more details about the incidents specifically, I do ok some times but then I get dissociated and don't make sense to people so I'm sorry if I'm sounding scattered a bit.

[MSTANDFEDUP]

There are 3 female vet. organizations that know about my case now and have given me support there was one point where I was very a mess and I was getting phone calls from Veteran women across the country. I don't remember a lot from the past years of mess but I had various phone calls at different times of people telling me to get my documents sent to the VA (I'm glad because I was almost about to lose a deadline once) and I was able to make copies and get them sent in.

The legal service in Washington is Lawyers Serving Warriors NVLSP and the various people I've spoken to are from SWAN (Service Womens Action Network), VetWOW, and got some phone calls from other women who had MST and had good advice. During the investigation back when it happened I had called this 1800 number during the investigation because I started getting fearful about my rights (it was turned on me at first, but then later I got an apology from the Commander who said it will never happen again under his chain of command). During the investigation honestly that was very traumatic to me, I felt like it was going to be turned on me but thankfully a bunch of the SGT's that were in my workplace all confirmed the things that they saw the perpetrator do over a years time (things like he tripped me working once), humiliating me, etc. etc.. I think some of the other guys I worked with were tired of it honestly so I was lucky I had good guys I worked with who told the truth. I worked with 20 men, no females there.