There Is A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

[82airborne]

Well my caim is just about finished. Now I can work on physical therapy and mental health. I promise I had no hope in the system but in the end the system proved me wrong. I'm on a long journey to undo over two decades of pure violence. My goal is to become a loving member of society. I still plan to stay in the house. I'm not ready to try to be the social butterfly. THANX again for allowing me to be here in my next level of life. THANX and may GOD bless!

[Tbird]

82airborne - there are lots of things you can do at home until you are ready to try an outing.

Here are some of the things that get me away and allow me to stay in the house: (I isolate, I don't recommend it, I am not encouraging it, but just some ways I work with it)

I rearrange my house every 6 months or 1 year, it gives me a whole different perspective, I purposely don't have that much, I do better with a less is more, I need free open spaces in my home.

Netflix

HuluPlus

Amazon Instant Video

These are great movie watching sites. I do things like pick a genre and immerse myself in it, for example Film Noir I research all the Film Noir movies on line, watch about that genre, then I watch the movies. I do this with World War II movies and others also. Movies from the 40's I always enjoy. Arsenic and Old Lace never fails to make me smile. I also choose actor's and follow their movies. It's just something to do, 24/7 365 alone and at home is a lot of time to fill.

Spotify Music Service

I like Spotify because they a free version and a paid version. Any song I can remember I can find and listen to then I check which artists influenced them and listen to some of those. It passes the time and sometimes I find music can change my mood.

Read books

Audible has audio books and I mean tons of them, buy 1 at a time or subscribe and get 1 of your choice a month, download to your phone, computer, tablet whatever and listen. Been a member there on and off since the 1990's.

Amazon Kindle - Got a tablet or a Kindle you can download books to read.

There is so much available now through the Web you can spend a day going from one interesting thing to another.

I spent a lot of time after my claim was approved, thinking about what if I had a life, what would it look like and that is how I built the little life I have now. Though I would say that my life is still under construction :-)

[82airborne]

82airborne - there are lots of things you can do at home until you are ready to try an outing.

Here are some of the things that get me away and allow me to stay in the house: (I isolate, I don't recommend it, I am not encouraging it, but just some ways I work with it)

I rearrange my house every 6 months or 1 year, it gives me a whole different perspective, I purposely don't have that much, I do better with a less is more, I need free open spaces in my home.

Netflix

HuluPlus

Amazon Instant Video

These are great movie watching sites. I do things like pick a genre and immerse myself in it, for example Film Noir I research all the Film Noir movies on line, watch about that genre, then I watch the movies. I do this with World War II movies and others also. Movies from the 40's I always enjoy. Arsenic and Old Lace never fails to make me smile. I also choose actor's and follow their movies. It's just something to do, 24/7 365 alone and at home is a lot of time to fill.

Spotify Music Service

I like Spotify because they a free version and a paid version. Any song I can remember I can find and listen to then I check which artists influenced them and listen to some of those. It passes the time and sometimes I find music can change my mood.

Read books

Audible has audio books and I mean tons of them, buy 1 at a time or subscribe and get 1 of your choice a month, download to your phone, computer, tablet whatever and listen. Been a member there on and off since the 1990's.

Amazon Kindle - Got a tablet or a Kindle you can download books to read.

There is so much available now through the Web you can spend a day going from one interesting thing to another.

I spent a lot of time after my claim was approved, thinking about what if I had a life, what would it look like and that is how I built the little life I have now. Though I would say that my life is still under construction :-)

THANX I will try some of those movies out and audiobooks. :^}

[82airborne]

Well my temper has eased some. If its not one thing it's another. I started taking cholesterol pills and fish oil. Now my pain has left my toes and went to my butt cheek right side. Goooood lord it hurts to walk and I'm having headaches day after day. Everyday im filled with pain in my legs also my neck. Oooooh well maybe one day I will be free from pain. I just don't know what the next day will bring me. OOOH yeah I'm taking muscle relaxer and some other type of pain pill. Well I thank GOD that I don't have to worry about my claim so much and i can concentrate on getting better. Physical therapy next month. I hope they can ease my pain. It literally feels like somebody kicked me in the rear. :^{. GOOODNIGHT soldiers!!!!!!

[vet12]

Tbird,

You made me realize I'm not the only one with, for the lack of a better term "a simple life".

You have some good ideas. Thanks

82airborne,

I know your feeling. My right butt cheek is my main problem. Sometimes I hurt in both cheek areas and sometimes down the legs.

I'm not quite sure how you can not be angry. I have had problems over the years but this time it has been 2 years.

I have tried everything and very little works. I was told to use a walking cane which does help and one of the local pools help.

The VA told me to look at my age???? I have neighbors older than me who play golf everyday.

Anyway I hope you find relief. I don't want to be zoned out on meds yet the pain is unbearable sometimes. Also how can you go anywhere when you can't walk from the pain?

vet12

[82airborne]

Tbird,

You made me realize I'm not the only one with, for the lack of a better term "a simple life".

You have some good ideas. Thanks

82airborne,

I know your feeling. My right butt cheek is my main problem. Sometimes I hurt in both cheek areas and sometimes down the legs.

I'm not quite sure how you can not be angry. I have had problems over the years but this time it has been 2 years.

I have tried everything and very little works. I was told to use a walking cane which does help and one of the local pools help.

The VA told me to look at my age???? I have neighbors older than me who play golf everyday.

Anyway I hope you find relief. I don't want to be zoned out on meds yet the pain is unbearable sometimes. Also how can you go anywhere when you can't walk from the pain?

vet12

Yes you are so so right. I think it's these nerve medicines. It shifts the pain around because at first it was my toes then I started taking thes other pills now my toes stopped hurting now it's my right cheek. OOOH well I guess pain is something I better get use to

[82airborne]

Well it looks like I will spending more time in isolation. All I will say is that EVERYTIME I'm around people I get these violent thoughts that some how amuses me. Of course I don't act out on my thoughts but they are definitely there. I have been pretty much only been going to group therapy and doctor visits and that's all. I find that long as I stay home I find that I don't have any problems. So after while I'm trying to move to lessen my contact with multitudes of people. I truly don't want any problems. Also I am definitely seeing thing that's not there. I have no desire of being around strangers. I just want to be left alone in me own little world. To tell y'all the truth everybody seems suspicious. It also feels like at times I am being followed. I guess long as I'm not doing anything wrong it don't matter who follows me. Tomorrow I go see my psychiatry at the va I rescheduled last time I was at there clinic. It was after my appointment time and it was a lot of people coming in. My mind started o go into violent picture in my mind mode. I started having a panic attack. So before I totally flipped out I just asked if I can be in a room by myself or can I just reschedule so I just rescheduled for tomorrow. I really hope tomorrow when I go I be seen when the time comes or if the clinic isn't crowded I should be alright. OOOH well maybe all will go smooth tomorrow. Well till next time soldiers huuuaaah