Need Help With Spouses List Of Things To Do When Veteran Passes

[USMC RECON 67]

I think I saw on this forum some time back a list of things a spouse needs to do when her husband passes away. I have had a major problem with my heart in the past couple of weeks and want my wife to have the easiest transition when the time comes.I am 100% service connected for congestive heart failure + seven additional service connected issues.I would appreciate all the guidance I can get.I know there are different forms for different things that need to be done and also who to contact. Thank you in advance for your assistance.You ladies and gentleman are the best.

[free_spirit_etc]

OMG! You are SO Sweet - thinking of your wife that way!

So before we even TALK about all that red tape stuff - get all romantic!!

A couple things my husband did that were such a blessing to me were:

1. Planted daisies!! Mt favorite flower in the whole wide world. And - I didn't even know he had planted them. He didn't tell me. But several months after he died, I walked out of my house one day and was SURROUNDED by daisies blooming - all around the yard.

WOW! He found a way to keep giving me flowers!!! Now THAT'S romantic!!!!

2. He got me a CD with a Song "If tomorrow never comes will she know how much I love her."

When he first gave it to me - I asked him "Are you trying to tell me something? Are you planning on not being around?" He told me no - but told me that he just wanted to make sure that if that time did come that he had showed me he loved me enough while he was here to last me for always.

At first it was hard to listen to the song. I would CRY - just thinking about the possibility that he might be gone some day. But I listened to it many times - and then one day - it clicked in. I was able to tell him "The answer to your song is - YES. - Yes - You have shown me enough love that I will be able to hold it in my heart ALWAYS!"

3. Savored every minute!

I still regret some of the times I "wasted." The times I could have done more, said more, listened more, loved more. Not horrid regret - but still get those pangs sometimes of "Dang.. I wasted those minutes I could have spent differently."

BUT we DID savor so many minutes. Even in his last days in the hospital - when we weren't sure what the next day would bring - we savored those minutes together. Every night we would say - "No matter what tomorrow brings - I am glad we had today." And each morning we would say "No matter what today brings - I am glad I had yesterday."

4. Kept his sense of humor. Very, very,very,very important. Joy and laughter are beautiful gifts to share with those you love.

I know you might have been looking for a bit more practical advice.

I am just not feeling entirely practical at the moment.

Oh... and the BEST thing you can do for your wife is stick around as long as you can, even if it means forever!

Free - still lovin' my husband!!!!!!!

I think I saw on this forum some time back a list of things a spouse needs to do when her husband passes away. I have had a major problem with my heart in the past couple of weeks and want my wife to have the easiest transition when the time comes.I am 100% service connected for congestive heart failure + seven additional service connected issues.I would appreciate all the guidance I can get.I know there are different forms for different things that need to be done and also who to contact. Thank you in advance for your assistance.You ladies and gentleman are the best.

Edited February 18, 2009 by free_spirit_etc

[Commander Bob]

"Surviving spouses are encouraged to contact the Survivors' Call Center at (800) 749-8387, Mondays through Fridays. Info and inquiries may also be found online at www.vba.va.gov/survivorsbenefit.htm ."

I recently learned that our wives will also be able to keep our last month's comp. check. That will be helpful, if you have automatic bill payments from your checking account... However, the most important thing you can do at this time is to keep breathing. That's my plan

Edited February 19, 2009 by Commander Bob 92-93

[MRRRR5]

Here is another checklist from the Army G1 retiree website which also has helpful info for non-retired Vets as well.

However, as others have said, plan to stick around with your spouse for a long time... ;)

CasualtyAssistanceChecklist.doc

[Pete53]

Its a good idea to prepare and hope that its not needed. I made a list of all the accounts we have, a list of my user id and passwords, my last wishes, a letter to each of my sons and to each of my grandkids. I have four sons and I asked one to help his Mom. For him I left a CD with all the information I thought was necessary.

To have wife take my Social Security its more than hers.

I want to be cremated for 995 I already paid the place to do it. They are supposed to get the money from VA and reimburse my wife.

I told her what I think she will need to do if I am gone. Its up to her. She has ChampVA for life which is good. In 20010 she will not have to pay property taxes on our home in Texas.

Its just a lot of little things and I am sure that some things will go better and some not so good but she is a survivor and will make it alraight.

I have told all my kids to help their Mom and to never take advantage of her nor allow anyone else to do it.

Today, I saw all my four sons, my grand son and his Mom and it was a good day but very tiring for me. We are getting ready to do some painting in our house using the paint that does not smell and is environmentally green.

I have CAD and other health issues but I think I am ok but no one ever knows for sure.I have already been here a lot longer than I thought that I would ever be.

So I think that you have a good idea and its a good thing to get ready but I hope that you are like me and want to go on collecting from the VA for a long time.

If my wife dies first I plan to marry an 18 year old and hopefully she will collect for over 70 years.

[Berta]

Yes- it should be here USMC- when I get a chance I will either find that post or post this info again.

I cannot stress enough that a vets survivor-if they intend to ever apply for DIC-to have a complete autopsy done on the deceased veteran -particularily if the coroner is not going to list their SC on the death certificate as contributing.

If the veteran is an organ donor an autopsy is done here in NY for free by the Medical Examiner.Maybe in every state this is so.

And most organ donors are cremated.

And make sure the spouse can find a record of all your PC passwords-

I will look for the post here on this.

[USMC RECON 67]

Yes- it should be here USMC- when I get a chance I will either find that post or post this info again.

I cannot stress enough that a vets survivor-if they intend to ever apply for DIC-to have a complete autopsy done on the deceased veteran -particularily if the coroner is not going to list their SC on the death certificate as contributing.

If the veteran is an organ donor an autopsy is done here in NY for free by the Medical Examiner.Maybe in every state this is so.

And most organ donors are cremated.

And make sure the spouse can find a record of all your PC passwords-

I will look for the post here on this.