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ptsd Confused And Upset... Ptsd Storm On The Horizon
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Question
hedgey
I mentioned here before (I think) that I've been having trouble with IBS symptoms for some time. Finally got to see a new PCP (a real doctor!!) about it two weeks ago. (only 5 months after asking for help with the problem, but that's a whole 'nother rant). She said she wanted an endoscopy & a colonoscopy done. I told her that going 150+ miles round trip to the VERY busy VAMC was not something I could handle; it was hard enough to come into the small-town local clinic.
She understood and said she would request a local doc do the tests.
Yesterday I got a letter from the VAMC telling me to call for a new appointment at the Gastroenterology clinic... at the VAMC. I called my little VA clinic and asked what's this mean? The NP I talked to checked with my PCP doc & my notes. Yep, Doc requested I be seen locally. The NP called the VAMC for me to ask what the deal was.... She called me back to tell me that the VAMC told her that since they can provide the service, I have to go there.
I'm so freaked out about this, I can't even begin to express it. The last time I went to the VAMC, I had a major panic attack, and the provider I was seeing had to ask the on-call psychiatrist to come in to talk to me. Thank God my husband was with me, or I'm afraid they would have admitted me.
Now I'm supposed to go down there an let them do extremely invasive tests??? The thought of going to someone locally doesn't thrill me, but at least I know I'll be able to get back to my bunker quickly.....I don't know what to do.
I'm so angry. And scared. And sick to my stomach. "We understand PTSD!" "We care about our PTSD Vets!!"
Let us be kind, one to another, for we are each of us together in our pain.
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