My Anti Social Life

[82airborne]

I felt lonely without yall. You guys is my OPRAH WINFREY. I need a place to vent. So here I am. To tell YALL the truth this is the only place where I can express myself. :-)

[82airborne]

Well good luck bro I would stay away from people also until you get use to your medicine. When I was trying new medicine I was turning to a maniac at some times. I think depression is a part of our new reality. We got to learn to deal with our new way of thinking just stick to doing the things you enjoy and stay away from stressful situations

[knap-sack]

The everyday stuff is bad enough job, tax's, martial relationship, but when you throw a major item into our everyday issues it makes everything else worse. not just the one issue but all the everyday issues get bigger and overwhelming. Its like a snowball rolling down MT Everest it starts out the size of a baseball then ends up bigger than a three story building. It sucks any happiness one could have due to shear panic.

[82airborne]

Well I did a sleep study at the va. I have sleep apnea. So I recieved the good old mask with air. I was reading that the cpap machine reduce your nightmares. Hopefully it helps me. Just about every night I just have down right weird dreams just freakish dreams night after night. I still been in the house just staying away from trouble I would give a million dollars haaaa if I had it just to sleep all night and not dream nothing my ears is piercing with ringing sometimes it seems like it goes a high pitch I'm close to moving away from the inner city it's just to much living around this big crowded place all I want is to live in peace no troubles away from everything my hands still shake every dall all day it seems like I'm jumping more like my dog will hop on the bed he is a little dog but I jump like someone was robbing me so now I'm extra jumpy well that's it for now I'm still in isolation in the house

[knap-sack]

I understand what your saying. I'm in the same boat. I freak out on so many little things. I go int full bore anxiety attacks my hands shake and it seems like the ringing in my ears becomes much louder when the anxiety attacks come on. It sounds like you don't work. The going to work is the culprit of most of my anxiety. I have a high stress job where I make life and death decisions. I don't feel none too good about..my decision making skills because of the anxiety attacks. Large waves of fear engulf me. It sucks. I feel trapped when it happens and I can't walk away I'm tied down and I have make a call that effects human lives. It scares the hell outta me. If I was 100% my anxiety would be reduced to a where I could have a half way normal life. It sounds like I have a jet spooled up in back yard. I have way too much fear in my life today

[82airborne]

No I don't work. I wouldn't be able to control myself at a job. Every time I'm around a lot of people violent images role in front of my eyes like a movie. It's like I'm on edge everyday all day. Even when somebody comes thru the door to fast I'm jumping I'm not scared but I jump like a scaredy cat. All I wish to do is to get a house on the suburbs and disappear. It looks like I will be indoors the majority of the rest of my life. No matter how much I want to be social my mind won't let me be social. Ooooh well I'm just venting myself knapsack good luck on your job just try not to let people get under your skin I wish you the best of luck

[knap-sack]

Airborne the suburbs are too busy for me. I live 5 miles from a village. And an hour from magor city. I live on a culdesac at the end. No thru traffic I have a couple acres and this is my solace federal wildlife behind me. No one messes with me. I told my neighbor to never step in yard and he don't. I have chickens. Deer and turkey are normal sighting. Find your place and live well.