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ptsd Home From Iraq, Cant Work.
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Question
martin
Hello everyone, my name is martin spears, a returning Iraqi war veteran. i have been in the military (active and reserve) for 22 years. i missed the 1st gulf war, i stayed at camp pemdleton on ACB. this deployment was my real first combat experience. i was an embedded advisor to the Iraqi 3rd Infantry Div. our living condition were deplorable compared to our active duty conterparts. we lived with,trained, and fed the Iraqi's and took them out on combat missions.(i have 65 that i took my guts out on) we were known as 'dances with wolves' as we went native with these people. when i came home for the last time, i was on the Syrian border, firing my weapon on july 23rd, i was home drinking a beer at home on july 28th. i was discharged the following week. i8 returned back to my civilian job. (i am a police officer) i wasnt permitted to take any vacation time i had on the books to decompress.i was told that someone had been baby sitting my slot, and i could take off later. so,i came back 6 weeks after firing my last shot. i was O.K. until Nov 20th. i was having such weird physical symptoms, i thought i was going to drop dead at any moment, not to mention sleeping all the time. well, things got worse. my wife forced me to go to the local V.A. here in Houston. i was going over the deep end fast, and had thoughts of something I HAD NEVER thought of..suicide. i was diagnosed with PTSD, and given medication. its been an up hill battle. august 17th i was called in to the captains office who said i didnt write any tickets last month. my reply to that was, i had a large amount of call, and reports, and i didnt feel motivated to go sek extra activity, i am tired physically, and feel like i have the flu half of the time. i then said i was diagnosed with PTSD and am on medication. they freaked out, sent me home from work,and said dont come back until you get a release from your doctor. well, my doctor isnt releasing me. he feels i cant handle the stress of being a policeman anymore. i think my job set me up for failure. now i was 2 years short of a full county pension, now i have to settle for a medical which isnt anything to brag about. whenever i go and check in at the office periodically, the big wigs come out of their offices and start giving me the old grip and grin, really sucking up. i think their afraid i'm going to sue the dept. i filed a claim through the V.A. last i was told my GAF was 45 last month. i have a wife a 4 kids that depend on me.i am down to 2 weeks of sick time on the books, and i dont know if my retirement will even be approved.i have proof of stressors, i was awarded the usual awards like a CIB,purple heart,bronze star, and the usual campaign stuff. everywhere i turn i run into a brick wall, all because i told my job i was being treated for PTSD. well, thats it. i joined this forum, because we all have something in common, were vets, and were getting screwed one way or the other. what ya think, any input would be appreciated. i dont know what i'm asking for actually...just feedback.
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