ptsd What is PTSD like

[USMC_VET]

People sometimes ask what is PTSD like? often they dont know i suffer from it, but this is always my answer

*also i know there are many many various forms of Trauma that can result in PTSD, whether a horrible car accident or Sexual trauma, since my personal experience was war, that is why i come from that angle*

 

War is like a large black hole in the ground.  As you get closer to it the darkness touches you, in war often you need to go straight into that hole.

A rare few, can enter into the darkness and come out relatively unscathed.

Many are able to go in and crawl back out, but live on that edge, staring into the darkness, and still feel it pulling at them

Too many are never able to crawl out, they stay in the darkness.

 

It is our job as fellow vets and fellow humans to reach our hands into that darkness and pull them out, never leave anyone behind, the public doesnt care, the VA doesnt care.  They feel they have done enough by throwing cash and pills into that hole.  They dont understand that there isnt enough money and medications in the world to build up a hill to crawl up and out of that dark hole.  We must do it ourselves for our brothers and sisters.

Just my thoughts

[WhyMista]

I agree.  The general public and I'd hazard a guess the vast majority of military who did not experience any combat assume only those who display the most "positive" symptoms of PTSD have it when myself and many of my closest friends have severe PTSD but between pride, survivors guilt, thankfulness we came out better than some of our fellow brothers and determination most including those the closest to us seem to almost forget that while we look and may generally seem ok its a constant battle.

 

I will say that sometimes I do get angry at the fact that for the most part my wife who is amazing and my family just seem to think that after my one or two times a year I display some very obvious signs of ptsd that otherwise everything is good when its merely partly me hiding things from them because theres nothing they can really do and partly because its something that helps remind me what we went through and in a way something I believe has helped me as much as it has hurt me.

 

I always periodically check in on the guys I knew never know when one of us needs the other.

[USMC_VET]

I have the same thing, my wife who is also amazing, feels that since i am in therapy i should be better, just work through it.  Its impossible for other people to understand that it never goes away.  You hide it better, you learn to move forward in spite of, but its always there.

[tdubya82]

[deleted]

Edited July 21, 2016 by tdubya82

[Chuck75]

People sometimes ask what is PTSD like? often they dont know i suffer from it, but this is always my answer

*also i know there are many many various forms of Trauma that can result in PTSD, whether a horrible car accident or Sexual trauma, since my personal experience was war, that is why i come from that angle*

 

War is like a large black hole in the ground.  As you get closer to it the darkness touches you, in war often you need to go straight into that hole.

A rare few, can enter into the darkness and come out relatively unscathed.

Many are able to go in and crawl back out, but live on that edge, staring into the darkness, and still feel it pulling at them

Too many are never able to crawl out, they stay in the darkness.

 

It is our job as fellow vets and fellow humans to reach our hands into that darkness and pull them out, never leave anyone behind, the public doesnt care, the VA doesnt care.  They feel they have done enough by throwing cash and pills into that hole.  They dont understand that there isnt enough money and medications in the world to build up a hill to crawl up and out of that dark hole.  We must do it ourselves for our brothers and sisters.

Just my thoughts

"People sometimes ask what is PTSD like? often they don't know i suffer from it, but this is always my answer" - - -

I'd say that a relatively mild symptom is "not knowing which way to jump". There are many others, such as hyper vigilance.

Having rode a ship carrying hundreds of tons of ammunition, and thousands of gallons of av gas, (the high octane type no less!)

I fully understand the vigilance bit. We had a minor electrical fire late at night in an unoccupied compartment next to the cargo hold, which was loaded with ammunition.

The fire was put out and the fuses pulled well before the fire party and an electrician got anywhere near.   

The "don't know which way to turn" occurred when we were under enemy mortar  fire, and could not tell exactly where it was coming from to reply in kind, plus,

there was a village in the way.

Edited August 30, 2015 by Chuck75

[knap-sack]

I could write a book about this  topic. The plain simple truth PTSD sucks the life out of me and anybody that tries to love me.

[Buck52]

Ain't that the truth knap sack

I feel the VA therapist is just shooting hot air with me  I can'T see he his helping me at all?

i told him I try my best to do the things he mention  like go to Church or be around a crowd of people and when I start feeling uneazy just leave, I tried that  and also he says to learn to control my anxiety and my thoughts    I told him I just can't do that and I can't help it how I feel or the thoughts I have.

he says don't think about the truma...I said I can't help it I try not to and don't want to but it just keeps coming up in my mind no matter how hard I try to forget.

if it was not for my spouse I'd be 8 ft under she has went through things with me she shouldn't have....and I understand I put her through a lot of stress

I just take her word and work through all this the best I can  she said its me that has to do that and she will help me anyway she can  most of all she understands  and that keeps me going.

 

.........Buck

Edited August 31, 2015 by Buck52