Opinions please. Worsening symptoms. Ptsd/ tbi

[Phild523]

So I have been a member on here discussing my claims. I have had a long road with this claim starting last August 2018. So the claim is not finished but it finally went to preparation for decision. My ptsd/tbi symptoms have gotten even worse. My wife is an alcoholic who pushes me to my limits. She punched me in the face and I totally lost my control. I went into a rage and dont remember what happend. She obviously called the police and I was arrested for domestic violence. I was given an order of protection from my wife and year old daughter who is my world. I had to move to my mother's house temporarily for at least a month. I have been feeling suicidal and just plain angry. Should I talk to my vso with all the terrible shit written on police report about me and my ptsd ? What do you guys think?

[Phild523]

[broncovet]

Yes.  Apply for an increase, due to increased symptoms, even if your original claim is still in appeals.    If you go to a c and p exam, or, even just a regular doc appointment, make sure what you posted is "in your medical records":

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 My ptsd/tbi symptoms have gotten even worse. My wife is an alcoholic who pushes me to my limits. She punched me in the face and I totally lost my control. I went into a rage and dont remember what happend. She obviously called the police and I was arrested for domestic violence. I was given an order of protection from my wife and year old daughter who is my world. I had to move to my mother's house temporarily for at least a month. I have been feeling suicidal and just plain angry.

Dont "assume" the doc's know this.  Instead, tell them, then read your records to make sure this is documented in your records.  

If it isnt documented in your records, it did not happen.  

Vets only get compensated for stuff which is documented in their medical records.  It matters not how sick you are, it matters what is documented in your medical records.  (And we wonder why VA loves to lose pages of our records that have key documented evidence for our claim).  

[GeekySquid]

bronco is right in his suggestions to you. follow them

you however have another major problem. You have a child with someone you describe as a physically abusive alcoholic.

You have a problem with violence too.

you don't mention anything about any drinking on your part, but if you do drink STOP IT. it is not helping you.

No matter what happens with your claim, your child needs to be removed from that situation and both parents need to get help with their problems.

don't let your child be the ultimate victim of her parents problems.

[Phild523]

Yes. Absolutely. Married to her first the last three and a half years.

I do not have an alcohol problem. I did have a problem when I got home. My little girl is my first priority.  Have counseling apt on Tuesday. 

[vetquest]

Make it to your counseling appt and also try to get help with PTSD through the VA.  If you are blacking out and getting arrested this is not good.  Make sure you speak to the VA about your arrest and the order of protection.  I know it is hard but do not take the bait, even when physically assaulted, whenever this happens you lose.  I know it is hard not to allow the situation to escalate but sometimes it is better to escape the situation.

[GeekySquid]

1 hour ago, Phild523 said:

I do not have an alcohol problem.

I am going to be my usual direct self.

I did not ask you if you have an alcohol problem. I said if you drink STOP IT.

There are many reasons why, but at this moment the most significant one is that alcoholics, as you described your wife, are often in codependent relationships with people who knowingly or unknowingly are abetting the alcohol abuse. hell some even do it intentionally but that is a whole bag of worms unto itself.

If you drink with an abusive alcoholic you are painting a target on yourself as you tacitly encourage them in their drinking.

How do I know this? simple.

I grew up with an immediate family that every night at 5 began drinking heavily. By 9 they were so drunk they were hurling some of the vilest language and accusations against each other that you can imagine. Male and Female alike, they jumped down that rabbit hole every night of the year. All the adults in my family did this. Almost all of their children, my cousins, do this to this day. Their children do it, and their grandchildren will do it if the trend keeps going.

My sister and I learned to tend bar while still in pull-ups and footy pajamas with a trap door. Barely able to walk on my own and I could make a perfect martini, pour it, and serve it. The family album is full of us serving and making drinks before we could add or read "see spot run".

Their nightly abusive behavior did occasionally include violence. Usually towards their drinking partners but not always.

This was my normal life. every night. until I graduated High School at 16 and left for the Navy at 17.

I made it my mission in life to never be around them again if I could help it.

Have I ever been drunk? yes. and whodathunkit, but my family teachings came out with a bang. Since I refuse to be them I stopped getting drunk long before it became a problem. Because it would become a problem.

Do I drink? yes. Socially. Never alone. Only one or two in a sitting and because of my current medications the last time i had a beer or cocktail was over two years ago.

I am not picking at you, I am speaking truth to you.

If you drink, STOP IT.

If you don't drink great. Don't START.

 

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