Ask For Sex If She's Sober

[purple]

This story was sent to me by another woman veteran....disturbs me greatly that a woman, with that much "power" in the Pentagon would say something like this, and it was obviously covered up, well not anymore! I've also passed this along to Jim Strickland and asked him to make it public in his special way!!

Time to send Ms Whitely some correspondence, don't you think?..........

25% increase in sex assault in combat zones: 'Wait until she's sober,' says Pentagon watchdog

BY Richard Sisk

DAILY NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU

Updated Wednesday, March 25th 2009, 12:44 PM

The Pentagon is launching a sex assault prevention camapign which advises soldies to "ask her when she's sober."

WASHINGTON - It didn't get the attention of President Obama's recent Special Olympics. gaffe, but a "wait until she's sober" crack by the military's top sex crimes watchdog was more offensive, one New York lawmaker says.

"This woman is not in the right line of work," Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-Rochester) said of the statement last week by Dr. Kaye Whitley, director of the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office.

Whitley's bizarre quote came as she released the military's annual report on sex assault, which showed a 25% increase in combat zones, including 22 cases in Afghanistan and 143 in Iraq.

In pitching "bystander intervention" to curb attacks and harassment, Whitley gave this example: "If you see one of your buddies serve drinks to somebody to get them drunk, maybe what you do is step in and say 'Why don't you wait until she's sober?'"

Slaughter was aghast. "I was really shocked anyone would say a thing like that," she said.

In effect, Whitley was telling the troops to "go after her when she's sober - that says she's fair game," added Slaughter, who sponsored the legislation that required the military to report annually on sex assaults and its efforts to curb them.

In a written response to The News, Whitley said Slaughter did not "hear the statement in the context of the overall prevention strategy of the Department."

The statement came from a poster in a military marketing campaign called "Our Strength is for Defending" that is aimed at prevention, Whitley said.

The poster reads: "My Strength is for Defending, so when I saw that she was drunk, I told him, 'Ask her when she's sober.' Preventing sexual assault is part of my duty."

Whitley's annual report showed that the number of sex assaults in the 1.4 million-member active-duty military increased 8% to 2,908 in the year ending in September 2008.

Whitley noted that only about 20% of the attacks are reported because of "the fear and stigma associated with the crime."

Just 38% of the cases that were reported eventually were referred to a court martial, she said.

"This is one of the problems," said Rachel Natelson, a lawyer at the Veterans and Servicemembers Project of the Urban Justice Center in Manhattan. "It's a lack of consequences. People think they can act with impunity."

[SFCTRUCKDRIVER]

Sorry to all,

I dont understand why all this is in an uproar over someone trying to do SOMETHING about rape. It may not be the best case scenerio to solve every case, it might not even be 23rd best. The problem is as this, someone is TRYING to solve a problem that exists with NO solution to it. There will always be a jerk who does this to a poor undeserving victom. There will never be a way this act is good. There will never be enough Dr's to treat the issue of the raped having the wounds for life. But the idea that there is someone at least on your side enough to try and add something to get people's attention should never draw so much criticism. should they have gotten a better phrase, yes, does it solve the problem NO, but darn, someone is trying to help, take it for what it is and be happy somebody is on your side trying to get something better for the victom. If it prevents ONE rape, that is a success. Not every good intentioned person is going about undermining people and the treatment they should get. This is about making people know a woman or man can not give consent while she or he is drunk, NOTHING ELSE. It is not about anything else but to make sure people can ID that it is rape, it is not intended IMHO to prevent the jerks who rape sober people in other circumstances, it is a targeted message meant to get the attention of non rapists who end up in a situation they shouldn't be in, and do something they dont fully understand that turns them into a rapist. can't you see a young guy, drunk, at a bar, and a girl there too and drunk, they go do this and that, and then one is a victom and one is a rapist and neither would have done it sober. it is intended to get that drunk guy and girl aware of the situation and prevent that one type of rape that isnt about control, that isnt a violent act, that is rape but done by drunk consensual people that dont know any darn better. The jerks will still rape innocents unfortunately. But should the two innocent people who enter a bar only meaning to get drunk and then something stupid happens and is a rape, be the same crime and punishment as the rape that is done by a pycho?

I think there are 5 different types of murder due to intent of the crime, and maybe there should be different types of rape charges. I had a 18 year old kid in Germany sent to prison for 10 years all because he had sex with a girl who was drunk and didnt remember it. It isnt right, but how many times have I gone to the club with my wife, come home and had sex, that isnt rape is it? Shoot, how many rapes occur after wedding parties when the bride and grrom get drunk the run to the room????

I am not validating a crime, but there needs to be some sort of law passed where it is like rape 1, rape 2, rape 3 etc just like murder,manslaughter,2nd degree murder, vehicular manslaughter etc.......

a rapist is an a#%hole, but dont let there be two victims to this certain kind of rape. (not saying it shouldnt be punished)

[purple]

One of my biggest issues with this whole "campaign" that the DoD is taking credit for is....c'mon people....it's just plain common sense.

Do we really need someone to tell us to help a woman (or man) who might be in trouble?

Do we really need someone to tell us that sex without consent is wrong?

Oh please. It's the "dumbing down" of society. A little common sense goes a long way.

The DoD is only doing this so they can check off the box to be able to say, "Look, we did something, no one can say we didn't do anything!"....It's how they are when it comes to rape in the military. It's how they've always been, it's how they will continue to be.

[1994andcouting.....]

PS I forgot the main point...a passed out female cannot consent to sex.

I was passed out and did not consent. BUT because I had been drinking with this so called friend I didnt report it. Pre-Tailhook Navy.

The few mutual **friends** that I confided it gave me the old B) because they just couldnt imagine this harmless, sweet, innocent guy doing something like that to me. OH yeah after I finally woke up the next morning he told me to get my vomit filled underwear and get dressed. When I tried to talk to him about it he said that it was a 'dry fu*&" and didnt speak to me again.

hmmph.....

[peacecindia]

"Just ask her when she's sober" addresses an environment

of intoxication and sex in the military.

I think the slogan captures the subject. It doesn't address the gradations

of defaulted consent, non-consent or sexual assault while intoxicated.

It also does not address binge-drinking, social drinking or alcoholism.

The message is more about self-control and a popular trend with

young people. Watch your friend's back="My Strength is for defending".

The DOD made a concession and is trying to show impartiality in

a public message targeted at young service members. It's PR not

change of regulations.

Sexual trauma advocates and survivors are pounding on DOD and have

been for years. 'Just ask her when she's sober'

is not exactly a DOD initiative or an example of their innovation.

At least it's a beginning.

>In the 1970's military, there was no anonymous reporting, DNA rape kits, SARC or SAPRO, domestic violence shelters, order of protections from stalkers, drug and alcohol counseling, anger management classes or much reporting resources for anything and certainly not mandated command involvement.

P.S. 1994, you could go to the VA for MST counseling. Why the h*$ll not. The military did not support

you with resources.

I was passed out and did not consent. BUT because I had been drinking with this so called friend I didnt report it. Pre-Tailhook Navy.

The few mutual **friends** that I confided it gave me the old B) because they just couldnt imagine this harmless, sweet, innocent guy doing something like that to me. OH yeah after I finally woke up the next morning he told me to get my vomit filled underwear and get dressed. When I tried to talk to him about it he said that it was a 'dry fu*&" and didnt speak to me again.

hmmph.....

[1994andcouting.....]

P.S. 1994, you could go to the VA for MST counseling. Why the h*$ll not. The military did not support

you with resources.

[jim n ok]

Sorry to all,

I dont understand why all this is in an uproar over someone trying to do SOMETHING about rape. It may not be the best case scenerio to solve every case, it might not even be 23rd best. The problem is as this, someone is TRYING to solve a problem that exists with NO solution to it. There will always be a jerk who does this to a poor undeserving victom. There will never be a way this act is good. There will never be enough Dr's to treat the issue of the raped having the wounds for life. But the idea that there is someone at least on your side enough to try and add something to get people's attention should never draw so much criticism. should they have gotten a better phrase, yes, does it solve the problem NO, but darn, someone is trying to help, take it for what it is and be happy somebody is on your side trying to get something better for the victom. If it prevents ONE rape, that is a success. Not every good intentioned person is going about undermining people and the treatment they should get. This is about making people know a woman or man can not give consent while she or he is drunk, NOTHING ELSE. It is not about anything else but to make sure people can ID that it is rape, it is not intended IMHO to prevent the jerks who rape sober people in other circumstances, it is a targeted message meant to get the attention of non rapists who end up in a situation they shouldn't be in, and do something they dont fully understand that turns them into a rapist. can't you see a young guy, drunk, at a bar, and a girl there too and drunk, they go do this and that, and then one is a victom and one is a rapist and neither would have done it sober. it is intended to get that drunk guy and girl aware of the situation and prevent that one type of rape that isnt about control, that isnt a violent act, that is rape but done by drunk consensual people that dont know any darn better. The jerks will still rape innocents unfortunately. But should the two innocent people who enter a bar only meaning to get drunk and then something stupid happens and is a rape, be the same crime and punishment as the rape that is done by a pycho?

I think there are 5 different types of murder due to intent of the crime, and maybe there should be different types of rape charges. I had a 18 year old kid in Germany sent to prison for 10 years all because he had sex with a girl who was drunk and didnt remember it. It isnt right, but how many times have I gone to the club with my wife, come home and had sex, that isnt rape is it? Shoot, how many rapes occur after wedding parties when the bride and grrom get drunk the run to the room????

I am not validating a crime, but there needs to be some sort of law passed where it is like rape 1, rape 2, rape 3 etc just like murder,manslaughter,2nd degree murder, vehicular manslaughter etc.......

a rapist is an a#%hole, but dont let there be two victims to this certain kind of rape. (not saying it shouldnt be punished)

this is the most insensitive,bigoted,stupid comment i've ever seen posted on this or any site concerning rape.this is shameful and apologies should be made to the victims and members of this site.