Chronic Pain And Ruined Life

[david walker]

After years of dealing with chronic back pain I finally broke. A while back I developed pan colitis. I blame that on all the meds I take. The colitis knocked the wind out of me. Mentally I have fallen apart. I started drinking to relieve the pain. I know this was wrong now and I am truly sorry for it. The drinking got out of control. It all came to a crashing halt. I wrecked my vehicle driving impaired. This is something I never did (drive). But I got into a bad situation and don't even remember the accident. I have lost my job and almost my family. I finally went into treatment. Now I am out, not drinking thank the Lord, but I can't function. Everyday I deal with pain, sickness, fear panic attacks. Some days I don't even leave the bed. I can't find my way to fix myself. Anyone ever went thru something like this?? I am in bad need of help.

[gp747]

I hate to have to agree (not because John isn't correct, but, simply because he IS correct, it's a hell of a note when we have to revert to showing up at the ER, hoping that SOMEONE will be there that will listen!). This IS an emergency, just as a ruptured appendix is an emergency.

You got that right,if some of these doctors had to go through it for about a week they would be glad to prescribe what you need.

[john999]

Don't take this the wrong way but in order to get the treatment you desparately need you may have to just tell them if you don't get treatment for the pain you will kill yourself right in front of the VAMC with a note in your pocket that you did it because the VA would not treat your pain. You have to bluff a little so don't have any weapons or illegal drugs on you. You can have the note however. You will get admitted.

[gp747]

Don't take this the wrong way but in order to get the treatment you desparately need you may have to just tell them if you don't get treatment for the pain you will kill yourself right in front of the VAMC with a note in your pocket that you did it because the VA would not treat your pain. You have to bluff a little so don't have any weapons or illegal drugs on you. You can have the note however. You will get admitted.

I know one thing that alcohol is not the answer,it will kick your behind and take your name.

Edited March 30, 2010 by skunk

[hulamatt]

Don't take this the wrong way but in order to get the treatment you desparately need you may have to just tell them if you don't get treatment for the pain you will kill yourself right in front of the VAMC with a note in your pocket that you did it because the VA would not treat your pain. You have to bluff a little so don't have any weapons or illegal drugs on you. You can have the note however. You will get admitted.

thats just going to get you admitted, you could just go in and say you have suicidal thoughts and it will do the same trick, but in my experience, these VA docs and Army Docs, dont like to give anything that is addicting, be it xanax or pain meds, you have to fight for it, good luck, i had to get xanax from my private doc,

[retiredat44]

I hate to have to agree (not because John isn't correct, but, simply because he IS correct, it's a hell of a note when we have to revert to showing up at the ER, hoping that SOMEONE will be there that will listen!). This IS an emergency, just as a ruptured appendix is an emergency.

I go the VA pain clinc very often and under both physical and mental treatment.. I go to meetings for help..

I can truly say I broke down many times..

there is no quick fix... you can only do what you can do...

20 years of extreme suffering..

follow the advice of many others and get into a program.. they will not give you any magic, but you have nothing to lose..

[david walker]

Thanks guys. I am SC 20% for my back & 10% for aniexty. I have a C&P coming up. I sent in a request for increase after I lost my job. I am so beat down over this I don't feel like moving. I have put my famility in such a bind for which I am truly sorry. The panic attacks are servere and coming more often. Everywhere I turn for help seems like they want to punish me for my terrible mistake. I have been in treatment and do go to AA. I try everyday to find a job, but when they find out I have a pending charge that's it. My families insurance has lapsed cause I can't afford to pay it. I appreciate all of you listening. Bottom line is I did what I did and I have to pay the price. I have to find some way to take care of my family. With the alcohol I knew I was killing myself slowly but I was paying the bills. That's how I justified it, I know it was wrong but the alcoholic mind finds a way to justify. I have to find some sane way to get back on my feet.