ptsd Need Help Calming Down, Voc Rehab And So Problems

[10thFO]

Ok here it goes. I've been living in my hole for the past year and this is the week that I need to file for a reconsideration on my PTSD at 50% and my unemployability. According to the regs, since I'm 70% now and over 40 for one they have to consider me for unemployability. I have struggled to come to terms with this but the more I screw stuff up, the more I agree with my Voc Rehab counselor. but thanks to my Psych, writing that I was temporarily unemployable, thinks I can work eventually that PTSD is curable. So now I have to have an indepent contractor on Friday. I called him just now to let him know I got his letter and called him. I guess since I seemed somewhat educated on what he was involved for he has decided pretty much over the phone that I will be employable. Ughh these people are killing me.

I've been waiting on Voc Rehab for almost a year now. I started it once the year before but had to rescind my entry, to get my claim back in front of the VARO to award my claim for PTSD. My shrink really pissed me off. She meets with me for 15 minutes every 2 months and she thinks she knows me? My Vet Center counselor wrote a long letter detailing who I fog out when I get stressed. Crawl into a hole and don't come out until I'm in trouble with the law or gov't for not filing taxes or employment information for the employees that were in a family business I drove into the ground. This thing makes to much sense, so I guess that's why it's all screwed up.

My VET Counselor wrote that "even though I displayed above average intelligence" that due to PTSD and stress there was no way that I could be considered employable. He's the MSW that sees me every week in group for the last year and a half, yet this outside contractor I have to meet with, who is also an MSW, for probably 30 minutes is going to say i'm employable based upon my age (36) and the fact that I have a BS in Communications. Dughh do you think.

Back to the SO, I went in last week and told him I wanted to file for TDIU back to October of 2004, date of claim for PTSD, I received the award on May 17,2005, so I have to file before next Wednesday. I also told him I wanted to reopen a claim for Nerve impingement in my neck, (actually first time i Filed it was for neck strain, and they didn't see it in my records where I was seen on multiple occasions for it caused by service) so I don't know if I should just file a new one, for Paralysis of lower radicular group of each hand, and Ulnar Nerve impingement, or try to work it back through the claim I filed for Neck Strain. If they would reconsider the strong evidence I have from my MSW at Vet Center for an increase to 70% PTSD and the fact that I've gotten paralysis in both legs and feet now, that I need to file an increase for, I'm thinking I should be able to get the 60% also for the back thing whatever they call it. That stuff with a rating for my neck and hands would take me to 100% schedular. Here's my problem, SO wants me to just file for a reconsideration on the PTSD unemployability issue right now. I need a decision sooner than later, and I know if I file for all this other stuff it's going to slow down my claim big time. My wife and I really need the money, but I would like to get my other ratings to were they should be, I just don't want to get the TDIU. I'd rather have all my illnesses recognized so when I die, it would be more likely service related.

Thanks guys I know this is long, but I'm really stressed and freaked out right now. Have to be in court on friday to see the state tax people. One good thing I got reading the 38 cfr and 38 uscs is that I can get my watch back that the sheriff took from me one day when he frisked me for money when I came in to get a worker out on bail, (he took $300 cash off of me and my watch which he listed as worth 60 bucks but my wife and I paid over 300 for) so next week I plan on going back and taking the federal code with me that says he can't attach my money, or anything that I bought with my said disability compensation even if I only used a portion of benefit money towards the purchase. I can't wait to get that back.

[10thFO]

Berta, and Bob, thanks for your points in case. I'm definitely NOD'ing my case on Monday the 15th? I'll clear my schedule... LOL :( Not like I got anything pressing to do since I can't work today anyway. Today is the first day I've seen something positive come out of my PTSD. It went back to my business issues, and inability to give a shit, and get out of bed. (somehow gov't threatening me does nothing but piss me off) but the Commonwealths Attorney (Virginia) read the statements from my Vet Center doc, and read the decision letter and points of emphasis of where and what started my PTSD. Well he's a Marine, and he must have softened up a bit, they dismissed my 10 counts of failure to file tax info. (I turned over half of it in today, and have 6 months to finish the rest.) I thank God for looking out for me. And the Marine as well.

Yeah Berta, this Psych is a piece of work. she really is against me getting TDIU, but honestly I've gotten enough ammunition to tell her to shove it. I'm also going to go talk to the director and tell him that if she's going to be giving those strong of opinion in talking to me for 15 minutes every two months, then they may as well have their secretary talk to me about their medication. It amazes me that her statement can be that damaging, when she has no diagnosis of this patient whatsoever. Maybe I'll tape record the next meeting at the end of this month, come home and type up my answers since she always asks the same list. "How are you doing" Not well, my wife and I are fighting, almost bankrupt, my truck got repossed. "So how is the Medication"... Doesn't seem to be working to good Doc. "Last time I switched you you seemed very anxious on it, so how about we give you another 20mg a day and see if that is better. "Have you thought about hurting yourself or someone else?" Giggle, uh yeah, the Vocational Rehab people, the County Sherriff, myself. .... "Are you having these feeling of killing yourself today, lilke planned it out" No, I didn't wake up this morning trying to plan my demise. .... "Well because if you tell me you are suicidal right now, I will have to commit you today?" No I don't want to be committed so I'm not planning to hurt myself. "Have you been to see the Vet Center yet?" Ugh yes, I've been seeing them weekly since November of 04 for two hours. "oh well that is good then" (Knock on the door, signal for time is up next patient waiting) Ok well I'll fill out this prescription, make sure you keep your appointments and make sure you take your medicine. The program won't help if you don't take your medicine.

Yeah I wonder what program that is.

Also it's not only the Prozac med, it's really the Vicodin, and Methadone, that are kicking my tail right now. So the effects of medication on working will definitely be listed.

[Berta]

10th Fo- you might want to send them a copy of this too- if that shrink "cure" statement has been put into any denial yet:

http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/ptsd.html

This is a article by Dr. Jonathan Shay- under the links-

I believe Dr. Shay is being much too modest when he says he is not the authority on PTSD- He is one of the best they have got at the VA.

He has been on TV and in documentaries such as "Fit to Kill"- the best doc I have ever seen on PTSD and has done considerable research on PTSD.

He says right in this article that meds dont cure it- as a matter of fact he says:

"The most helpful drugs are likely to be ones that don't yet exist" There is good info on meds at this site and you might even want to email him at the site. I am pretty sure you dont need his permission to use the article.

I would love to see how VA would squirm out of anything Dr. Shay says- I bet that shrink you have has never even heard of him- she would learn alot about PTSD if she ever watches that documentary-

an award winner- Fit To Kill-- someone never returned my copy of it so I bought it from CNN- for about 35 bucks- a great investment -I wish every civilian who ever put down a PTSD veteran in any way would watch it.

They would get an education from it.

When you prepare your NOD focus on exactly what they stated in the reasons and bases and if they refer to her statements- knock them down cold!

Edited May 12, 2006 by Berta