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ptsd Psychologist I Have - Read At Own Risk
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Question
carlie
During the last 6 to 8 months I have had a VA psychologist
that is a resident at the VA - she is not yet a PsyD.
Last week she asked me, if I felt that having a claim with VA to
SC my PTSD, was standing in the way of my treatment.
When she asked me this I just totally shut down, got up
and told her I need to write her a letter and I would see her
again next week, which was today.
This is the letter I gave her today - then did her little VA
questionaire, and left.
I would like to know if other's here have had an experience similar to this
and how it left them feeling.
Thanks,
carlie
During our session today you asked me if I felt my VA claim for Service connection of PTSD was standing in the way of treatment.
I really don't know how to answer or take this question coming from a person that is providing therapy to help me deal with issues of daily living and ways to deal with my mental health problems.
My first feeling was to ask myself, is she trying to bring my anger out because I sure don't want to have this happen here at the VA because I will be the one to end up with more trouble. My next feeling and thought concerned how very long it took me to admit to myself that I had been raped while on active duty.
I would never admit or accept this as I did not have broken bones, wasn't beat to hell, wasn't tied up or ended up in a hospital with blood dripping from anywhere.
It has taken years of therapy for me to admit and accept that just by someone holding me against my wilI and being able to physically force a part of their body into mine - is rape.
All my life I thought like many, many other people. I thought for someone to rape me they would have to kiIl me first. Therapy taught me that wasn't true.
Somehow our last session seems to have destroyed everything I thought I had learned from my PTSD therapy so far. I wiIl let you know this, should I win the lottery and be a millionaire, I will continue with my claim for PTSD to be service connected.
I feel, had this not happened to me while in the army neither I, nor my family would not have to suffer with all of the crap, the fear, nightmares, flashbacks, anger, hate for myself, all and more, from PTSD.
Before all of the PTSD problems began I was a viable citizen.
I was employed, made a decent living and was able to contribute to
society -that is dead and Iam nothing.
It took Dr.Maria Crane, Dr. Shriner and several others a very long time for me to accept this,the true definition of rape.
It took years for me to know why I was always so angry and short with others, why I didn't sleep well, why I always felt like I was fighting the world.
When the ENT at Baypines assaulted me, it took the people above to connect the dots for me as to why I have this PTSD.
I just could not understand inside of my head -just what active duty assaults had to do with the assault from the doctor.
They helped me understand it was a delayed onset of PTSD and that is how active duty assault relates to the doctor, me and PTSD.
VA Disability compensation is paid for injury or Illness caused during military service.
Whether a person needs money or not isn't a factor in granting or denying daims.
I will always stand on the side of fairness and justice.
Carlie passed away in November 2015 she is missed.
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