Ask For Sex If She's Sober

[purple]

This story was sent to me by another woman veteran....disturbs me greatly that a woman, with that much "power" in the Pentagon would say something like this, and it was obviously covered up, well not anymore! I've also passed this along to Jim Strickland and asked him to make it public in his special way!!

Time to send Ms Whitely some correspondence, don't you think?..........

25% increase in sex assault in combat zones: 'Wait until she's sober,' says Pentagon watchdog

BY Richard Sisk

DAILY NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU

Updated Wednesday, March 25th 2009, 12:44 PM

The Pentagon is launching a sex assault prevention camapign which advises soldies to "ask her when she's sober."

WASHINGTON - It didn't get the attention of President Obama's recent Special Olympics. gaffe, but a "wait until she's sober" crack by the military's top sex crimes watchdog was more offensive, one New York lawmaker says.

"This woman is not in the right line of work," Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-Rochester) said of the statement last week by Dr. Kaye Whitley, director of the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office.

Whitley's bizarre quote came as she released the military's annual report on sex assault, which showed a 25% increase in combat zones, including 22 cases in Afghanistan and 143 in Iraq.

In pitching "bystander intervention" to curb attacks and harassment, Whitley gave this example: "If you see one of your buddies serve drinks to somebody to get them drunk, maybe what you do is step in and say 'Why don't you wait until she's sober?'"

Slaughter was aghast. "I was really shocked anyone would say a thing like that," she said.

In effect, Whitley was telling the troops to "go after her when she's sober - that says she's fair game," added Slaughter, who sponsored the legislation that required the military to report annually on sex assaults and its efforts to curb them.

In a written response to The News, Whitley said Slaughter did not "hear the statement in the context of the overall prevention strategy of the Department."

The statement came from a poster in a military marketing campaign called "Our Strength is for Defending" that is aimed at prevention, Whitley said.

The poster reads: "My Strength is for Defending, so when I saw that she was drunk, I told him, 'Ask her when she's sober.' Preventing sexual assault is part of my duty."

Whitley's annual report showed that the number of sex assaults in the 1.4 million-member active-duty military increased 8% to 2,908 in the year ending in September 2008.

Whitley noted that only about 20% of the attacks are reported because of "the fear and stigma associated with the crime."

Just 38% of the cases that were reported eventually were referred to a court martial, she said.

"This is one of the problems," said Rachel Natelson, a lawyer at the Veterans and Servicemembers Project of the Urban Justice Center in Manhattan. "It's a lack of consequences. People think they can act with impunity."

[cowgirl]

Yes, I can wish for change!

As I stated before, I beleive if advice is written, or a command quoted and comes from a higher command authority downward, its usually treated as near gospel by everyone else. Thats how I percieve this *'prevent sexual assault' in the military campaign.

Carlie, thank you for providing us with links to facts, history and more details on this campaign against sexual assault. Oh yes, imho, there is much more needed than this current *campaign. Anti drinking, anit smoking and antilying campaigns. The campaign is needed, true. We know, there are sexual assault and abuse victims unable to tell about their assault experience until after it happens,or until much later or if ever. Enter VA health care and disability $$$$$$$.

Then there is more than the earth shattering physical assaults and sexual abuse, there is the mental abuse. The way I feel, Sexual abuse is a physical or mental result of a someones deep emotional problem, percieved attraction, power, dominance, skewed physical needs, threat to job promotion, jealousy or assignment transfers or blackmail or stupidity or whatnot. etc etc.

sexual assault sexual abuse, a statutory offense that provides that it is a crime to knowingly cause another person to engage in an unwanted sexual act by force or threat) "most states have replaced the common law definition of rape with statutes defining sexual assault (princeton)

Isn't the military population young, full of youthful vigor, vitality and usually entered at one of the ripest hormonal stages in a persons life?(sounds like a college campus).

I feel by belittling a probable assault, with a poster suggesting asking someone to watch out for and ask someone to 'DELAY' or better 'restrain' their raring, out of control instincts until ASKING for consenual relations when the peson is 'sober' is not enough. But hey, thats my opinion based on my sexual assault(s) & abuse experience, my ongoing counseling and personal knowledge after serving an entire honorable career until I retired from the military. I am a survivor. There is no way to protect everyone and while I suspect 'white wash' will occur as usual in the units because there is a 'current' campaign. I can only hope for permanent change, can only hope. Did I mention, I am a survivor?

Yes, I fear for vulnerable young women (and men) that enter the military to serve their country. What will these dedicated and fabulous young people percieve as 'normal' consenual interactions with one another? Oooh, I can't date you because of the clause or regulation that says this or that. Sure, I'll work with you in the most demanding of environments and depend on me to protect your back in life threatening situations. but dont dare try to warm up to me or I'll report you ~! Recruit only unfeeling ole farts? Ok, enough moral thoughts of mine.

It just seems to me another campaign has good intentions, but posters and materials like this redirects the serious nature of this matter to a 'wait till she's sober' joke campaign. My true thoughts, its lip service and a reminder poster for military members. Isn't the UCMJ already in place as a big enough warning? or even a tool? Why not post those in CLEAR language.

And, one more thing, Alchohol is one of many drugs out there. There are other medicines or maybe even mental or physical 'exhaustion' on duty another state of weakness or stressful euphoria, a sorta :drugging, in itself? (ever been up for a entire weekend?? or stayed at work the entire week? zombie state).

My rant and thanks everyone for your inputs, its an important discussion and I am glad to be able to provide my 2cents and humble opinion.

Best to ya,

Cg'up2009!

SAPRO's SAAM materials have been designed to support installation and unit sexual assault prevention and education efforts. These downloads contain material that can be reproduced and distributed to support local SAAM campaigns. Materials include:

About the Campaign

The 2009 SAAM theme, “Our Strength is for Defending: Readiness=Respect” focuses on the ability of every Service member to prevent sexual assault by taking an active role in looking out for the welfare of friends and co-workers. As leaders in the field, Sexual Assault Response Coordinators (SARCs), Victim Advocates (VAs) and commanders have the ability to educate and to encourage our Service members to be ready and act in situations where people may be in jeopardy. This is especially important when alcohol is involved. Creating an environment of mutual respect and assistance is key to prevention. As you plan your campaign, try to use this theme to complement your activities. ((this infers the 'command'!)).

Edited April 6, 2009 by cowgirl

[purple]

....because I didn't expect this post to turn into a, once again, "let's gang up on purple" post. just like so many others do. and i won't play into it. i choose not to.

i thought hadit was about support & help and passing along information vs constantly dragging ppl down. apparently i've missed something.

[jim n ok]

seems strange that mst victims should support others and not defend a person that supports rape..that's how i ntook the comments from the dod idiot.

[peacecindia]

Purple,

Hang in there coz I believe your instincts are on target even if the opinions

about 'Just ask her when she's sober' differ among all of us.

Wasn't it Kay Whitley who was called to the Senate and her boss

came in her place? The Senate members were mad and told her boss that

if they wanted to talk to him, they would have summoned him.

They also asked him to leave.

Hopefully, we will see more campaigns and this is not the only one

just the first one. A prototype.

Cindy

....because I didn't expect this post to turn into a, once again, "let's gang up on purple" post. just like so many others do. and i won't play into it. i choose not to.

i thought hadit was about support & help and passing along information vs constantly dragging ppl down. apparently i've missed something.

[mcso111]

I am a service connected vet for MST/PTSD and I am a male, I actually went back into the military to attempt to find who did this to me,(obiously with no avail), of course this is when i was mentally stronger than when this happened, this happen when I was in a unconcious state before my ship went on a west pac cruise, and I was in a don't ask don't tell military,late 80's early 90's, believe me this person doesnt need to be anywhere where she can spout her mouth off like the commander in chief did back then and to see what a fiasco, that it turned out to be, so as someone said "stupid is as stupid does" in this case "stupid is as stupid says" people need to be held accountable. I am not the same person after as I was before and it took me 15 yrs just to tell 1 person what had happen. What I see this woman tring to do is to get off of the "spotlight" of the word rape and to shift to anywhere and everywhere she can. So that recruits are not turned off by the word rape or sexual assualt., sorry I got wrapped up in memories and my own anger and emotions I lost track of where I was going but maybe you can get the hint of where I was going. If i can sit and let my anxiety attack calm down maybe I will get back on track.

[Pete53]

....because I didn't expect this post to turn into a, once again, "let's gang up on purple" post. just like so many others do. and i won't play into it. i choose not to.

i thought hadit was about support & help and passing along information vs constantly dragging ppl down. apparently i've missed something.

Purple:

Just cause some do not share your opinion it does not mean that you are not supported on this web site. As an observation you tend to be very opinionated and defensive of your posts. On this thread I agree with you for the most part. If you pick fights with people who have different ideas you will get less feedback in the future.

You were done wrong in the military but you also were able to get service connected quickly and with little help.

Hang in there.

Pete