ptsd Hoarding...is It Related To A Control Issue?

[halos2]

Since being not able to work for quite some years I have become someone who insists on keeping everything. I read as much as I can about the VA system. Over the years I have become a "horder." Everything is clean, but in abundance. Too many clothes, saving from childen's young ages. Too many magazines, newspapers, peridiocals, journals, 3 printers worth of VA case studies/va hints from vets of claim issues/downloads of regulations/statues...papers...papers and more papers. And all of my books, VBM, VA claims self help books...

I know I can't control so many things/issues in my life but I can on what I want to keep.

I believe my PTSD/OCD/Chronic Anxiety/Chronic Depression has truly manifested in the outward problem of being a horder.

I can't control the outcome of my claim, what another may approve/disaprove with their acceptance/rejection, but I can or maybe I can't? control my surroundings. I become overwhelmed when I look at the boxes, bags, stacks of STUFF!

I feel I am somewhat rational, am educated, basically have a good heart when it come to helping others...but this is way too powerful!

It sucumbs me, and envelopes me in the surrounding and mountains of STUFF! Why I ask myself each day? Because in my life and how it has changed THIS is, although ridiculous, what I CAN CONTROL.

When my family ask why I blow it off.

One's socioeconomic level has nothing to do with this behavior. I feel my inability to perform in the healthcare industry, as I did for years, has left me with such idle time that I have to be able to control something...it is not forfilling/nor is any satisfaction received keeping the stuff...but...but that is the wall that's blocking discarding that which is truly of no value.

I have put trash bags in each room to discard papers, and boxes to give away clothes, but they are less than 1/2 full over a few weeks time.

Control is power to me...last I give up some to reap the rewards of an uncluttered space would afford me some peace in my life. Anyone else have this problem related to their claims issues?? I have never smoked, or drank alcoholic beverages, which I know some people use to help them survive. But keeping SO much stuff is wearing me down. I have tried a little discarding at a time, but the mounds are vast.

Really inquiring if there are any other HORDERS out there?? Is your behavior related to your claims dealings too??

Edited October 29, 2009 by halos2

[john999]

I know some hoarders. It is a very difficult problem to deal with for most. I am a bit of a hoarder when it comes to paperwork having dealt with various agencies for years where records are important and I feel under threat of having to prove something from the distant past. I have known hoarders you live with so much junk that they cannot even walk through their house. They have tunnels in the junk to the bathroom, kitchen, bed etc. Animal hoarders are the worst. You can see them on Animal Cops. It is OCD and resists change even with therapy and pills. It is like a personality disorder except the OCD victims feel anxiety about it, but resist any change.

[halos2]

Carlie, I know that we are related not genetically, but mentally...Too many commonalities in traits. I agree with your posts to my symptoms. Knew it. Great minds work together. HaHa. My kids have tried to get rid of my stuff, without me being here...holy hello broke loose...I had to climb down in the ditch to retrieve alot of my stuff, they never even looked to see what was in some boxes...Like photo albums when they were babies. I didn't speak to them for months...They don't have the disorder so they don't understand it.

They know now to leave my stuff alone. I know whenever I want to find time to discard or dispose of items they will help/on my terms only. Not today...too cold and raining for 4 days in a row.

Neighbor guy 47 looked healthy, no wt issues, hard worker, was playing basketball with one of his son's at the college, and went into restroom fell down hit his head and died right there. They could not revive him. You never know when your time will end, so we really need to try and make the best of the situations...but I still don't want to deal with the clutter now though.

[Testvet]

I hoard everything even the envelopes the decisions come in to prove the dates the stuff was mailed, I buy coins and I keep the invoices and packing lists, I have books where I keep a running inventory of my collections, it is from my OCD my wife goes thru books I read and boxes them up and puts them in the garage

we finally packed up all of the VA decisions and studies and all other stuff related to the claim and packed it for the attic she may need it for the DIC claim and she will know where it is.

My step father had the inventory lists for his record and tapes of country music he had OCD and PTSD he flew in B17s in WW2 he never wemt to the VA for a diagnosis but after living with it myself for years I can look back at his behavior and know what he had, I lived with it for enough years.

My wife even throws my Time magazines weekly after I read them or I would have every one of them I ever received you are not strange welcome to my world.....

[iraqx2]

I don't consider myself a hoarder, but have symptoms of compulsiveness ( such as drinking, gambling, etc. ) that are related to my PTSD. It comes and it goes. I can see and understand why Vets would hoard things.

However, when it comes to hoarding versus " being a slob " are two separate issues. We have seen this on the news too often where people trash their house and make their dwelling unlivable to the normal folks. That is not hoarding.

[Testvet]

I don't consider myself a hoarder, but have symptoms of compulsiveness ( such as drinking, gambling, etc. ) that are related to my PTSD. It comes and it goes. I can see and understand why Vets would hoard things.

However, when it comes to hoarding versus " being a slob " are two separate issues. We have seen this on the news too often where people trash their house and make their dwelling unlivable to the normal folks. That is not hoarding.

Oh I agree being a pig is not a hoarder OCD makes people compulsive not anal most people with OCD are usually neat freaks then there are the type who have to fold all of their clothes certain ways line up the forks and spoons etc dress right dress then there are the "monk type" people hoarding is another type altogether.....

[carlie]

However, when it comes to hoarding versus " being a slob " are two separate issues. We have seen this on the news too often where people trash their house and make their dwelling unlivable to the normal folks. That is not hoarding.

iraqx2,

Once a person has been a hoarder for decades - it appears to other's

that the hoarder is a slob -

but the person that is the hoarder usually does not see it that way

and may admit to a little clutter.

Hoarding is a disease that usually is a brought on by a mental health

problem.

I feel really bad for those that hoard food - now that's a tough one.

jmho,

carlie