Permanent Damage/disability

[81150 CAFB]

I don't know if this is the right palce to post this but everone on here has been so helpful wherever I post. Just findind out that I probably have permanent sciatic nerve damage and my back is trash. It is finally starting to hit me that I will never be the same again. I am pretty young (relative) and this reality is becoming hard to come to grips with. I am not talking about VA disability ratings at this point because that isn't going to change the fact that I am really disabled - maybe they will rate me 70% + or maybe 20% and denials, but I will still be messed up. I know a lot of people on this site have gone through this and live with it every day and how do you deal with it? I am trying to just adjust my thinking that I will never be able to to certain things or if I do anything above normal I will pay for it with pain. Just looking for some good advice on how so many of you deal with you disability.

Hope this makes sense.

81150

[Sailing_Faith]

Brother (sister?), Remember when you were some place you may not have chosen to be? Maybe you were needed to defend the country, or maybe for some politicians promise... it was difficult. There were sacrifices, but you delt with it... even did more then survive. You WILL survive this also. Coming to terms with what is a bunch of numbers and percentages on paper... as the real limits to the physical body are like another deployment.... you did not ask for it, but you will go and you will make it through. I can understand, I could go into the detail but that is for some other thread... for your thread I will simply offer that you WILL get through this, and you will learn that while life may be different it is still very much worth waking up every day. You WILL get through this, it is just part of the process. Try not to panic, and do yourself a favor... focus on as many positive things as you can. Don't let any anxiety rob you of the opportunity to enjoy the moment. You can do it, even when you are in pain. Please continue to post here, and talk to someone in real life. Be it a pastor, counselor, or just trusted friend, connect with someone. My dog was a wonderful listening post in the wee hours of the morning today.... There is a choice to make, you can look to the limits and find dispear or you can look beyond them and find hope. Choose hope... choose hope.

[subvet]

I don't know if this is the right palce to post this but everone on here has been so helpful wherever I post. Just findind out that I probably have permanent sciatic nerve damage and my back is trash. It is finally starting to hit me that I will never be the same again. I am pretty young (relative) and this reality is becoming hard to come to grips with. I am not talking about VA disability ratings at this point because that isn't going to change the fact that I am really disabled - maybe they will rate me 70% + or maybe 20% and denials, but I will still be messed up. I know a lot of people on this site have gone through this and live with it every day and how do you deal with it? I am trying to just adjust my thinking that I will never be able to to certain things or if I do anything above normal I will pay for it with pain. Just looking for some good advice on how so many of you deal with you disability.

Hope this makes sense.

81150

81150: Your post is probably as timely as ever. Pain meds and anti depressants is my answer. Even before I had SSDI approved (took only 90 days 1st time), and was 40%, I knew no matter what VA or Soc Sec said, I could not work..simply as that. A worsening back and 2 hip surgeries that resulted in progressively worse results make me a sort of slave to my conditions. Hopefully, you well get the compensations that reflect your disabilities that will make life easier to deal with and less stressful. Without morphine and Percocet and others, that much pain is certainly making life untenable. I also have the Health Buddy device that asks questions/input concerning depression and send to my eHealth Record..good way to reflect and self monitor. Good luck on your claims my friend.

Subvet

[jbasser]

81150: Your post is probably as timely as ever. Pain meds and anti depressants is my answer. Even before I had SSDI approved (took only 90 days 1st time), and was 40%, I knew no matter what VA or Soc Sec said, I could not work..simply as that. A worsening back and 2 hip surgeries that resulted in progressively worse results make me a sort of slave to my conditions. Hopefully, you well get the compensations that reflect your disabilities that will make life easier to deal with and less stressful. Without morphine and Percocet and others, that much pain is certainly making life untenable. I also have the Health Buddy device that asks questions/input concerning depression and send to my eHealth Record..good way to reflect and self monitor. Good luck on your claims my friend.

Subvet

I had a Neurosurgeon sit me down once and he went over the OR Report with me. He stated that if a nerve has been compressed or pinched for a long period of time that there is little liklyhood that nerve will ever regain its useful function. That is the KEY is having a Doc to explain it.

J

[john999]

If you become really disabled at age 60 you still feel cheated out of your "golden years", so young or old disablity is not fun. When you get older it is hard to deal with disabilites because your singificant others are also getting older. I cringe when I think of falling into the hands of the VA due to being really incapacitated.

[81150 CAFB]

Thank you for the responses. I am barely 40 and it is becoming real. My work already put me on 3/4 time (salary, vacation etc...) and I haven't been able to do that. Luckily I have a great family and friends, church etc...that are helping me through this including a great physchiatrist.

J- it's just hard to hear the neuro say it is now a management issue and probably permanent (talked to others and they say it is permanent...compression to long). The neuro hasn't come out and said permanent-just said it could be and management with lyrica and ultran ER for pain. See him in a month a we will apparently discuss pain management (FYI - all of my docs/visits are with private practices). J-did your neuro just explain to you that it is a management issue/permanent and you just set your mind to the realization?

John999- no disrespect intended regarding age and disability, just know it sucks. I just hate knowing that other Dads can do certain things that I will never probably be able to do.

Sailing- I do have a wonderful support group. I will always choose hope. Anexity and depression are just part of the chronic pain. I vist the physchiatrist everymonth and have a great family (if we need to sell the house...no biggie we can always downsize-don't worry says the wonderful spouse. I know life is wonderful and I plan to keep it that way with some mental adjustments. I know what you mean by being dealt with something you can't control it just takes some adjustments that will take time. I am not giving up hope in life, just dealing with something that I never really saw coming.

I have a hard time sitting/driving and doing anything physical beyond normal without having bad back/sciatic/hip and knee pain with the wonderful random firings of a damaged nerve go to my toes. Last week was my first week at work doing 3/4 time and I worked a total of 2 hours. Good thing my work has been really cool since this all started last year and the doc gave me a note for this week, but said we can't do next week or the next etc... Just need to try (doc didn't want me to get into calling him every week for a note). That is my biggest worry...I have been using all of my vacation time to make up for when I leave early. Am running out of vacation...just don't know what to do.

Also, It's hard to think about actually filing for social security...that was for other people-how can I work if I can't sit or drive for long periods(?) without narcotics. I just can't beleive that this all started as a simple discectomy and maybe 20% with service connection.

Hope this makes sense-meds kicking in. Just want to know how you all adjust to the reality-thanks for the responses. Sailing-Not looking to end the pain permanently...I do have many great things in my life.

81150

[carlie]

I just hate knowing that other Dads can do certain things that I will never probably be able to do.

I have been using all of my vacation time to make up for when I leave early. Am running out of vacation...just don't know what to do.

81150

81150,

As time goes by you will learn to give yourself credit for all the things that YOU CAN DO

as a person and a Dad - that other people and other Dads aren't able to do.

At work, you can go on the FMLA and that will at least keep you your job while

you continue seeking medical treatment.

It won't pay anything towards your bills.

Hopefully your spouse, family, friends, church, etc.... can help pitch hit for you financially

until you get resolve from both possibilities of veterans compensation and SSA benefits.

carlie