ptsd Newb With Questions

[socomsam]

Hi All,

I am heading to my Voc Rehab appointment Sept 28th and have no idea what to expect. I've been reading some of the post in this section and I admit, I am getting a little discouraged.

A little about myself first.

I am rated at 10% because of a back injury while active duty in the US Army. In fact, the Army just awarded me my disability after 21 years. I think I should have gotten a higher rating because for the last 20 years, I've been miserable. I am also going for the PTSD for other incidents in the Army. I have been able to to work, but only because I've had no other option. I am at the point where I have to lay down or stand up frequently throughout my day, even at home. I've never once told an employer I have a back injury out of fear of either not being hired, or being let go once I am hired. I am 46 now and guys at my age, without a college education, have very limited opportunities. I currently work in a factory of all places, doing 12 hour shifts which involve a lot of heavy lifting. It's the only thing I could find to get a paycheck. Each shift is a struggle to maintain my composure. If it weren't for my obligations as a father and a husband, I would have walked out a long time ago.

I really don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I want to work, but it's getting harder and harder to do so. I don't have a college education and nothing really interest me. I was trained as a combat videographer in the Army with 1st Socom and I've been doing camera work since getting out of the Army in 1988, but I can no longer hold a camera, or stand behind one. I am now lost.

If I qualify and I am offered schooling, I have no idea what profession I can do that would allow me to take frequent breaks to lay down. I always thought I would be doing camera work my entire life, despite my back injury, but now I don't know what I am going to do. I never thought my back would get this bad.

Any advise (and encouragement) woulld be appreciated.

Jeff

[Notorious Kelly]

Jeff,

Be honest and detailed with Voc Rehab about your limitations.

Consider visiting your VSO to file for increase and look for additional problems.

It can help if you are currently seeking/receiving treatment for your conditions.

Also file for SSDI.

Good on ya for enduring pain & discomfort to be a responsible husband and father and hang in there!

[JR Reihs]

Since you are now a DAV, start applying for gooberment jobs....SS, VAMC, Fed Bldg's.

You might need to put your foot down with VOC rehab......make them do their job.

[socomsam]

I check USAJobs daily, and have been for several years. Everything seems to require a bachelors degree. I also filed a claim for PTSD. They seem to be taking me seriously, which is a relief. Don't know if I have it, but I am certain I do. Panic attacks, severe anxiety, heart palpitations, insomnia and nightmares when I do sleep. Hard to concentrate, which has made it hard to hold a job over the last 20 years since ETSing.

Just tired and exhausted dealing with it.

[john999]

VAMC's have special deal for hiring disabled vets. Maybe you could get a job doing some sort of low physical stress. There are a lot of people I see standing around at the VA doing almost nothing. They are not straining themselves. In fact you must hold a mirror to their face to see if they are even breathing but they take home a paycheck. However, if Voc Rehab feels you are too disabled to be rehabilitated that would look good as evidence for either IU or 100%. The post office hires janitors that are severely disabled vets. They make good money and do almost nothing.

[socomsam]

I'm only 46 and I cannot see myself being a janitor for the rest of my life. That only adds to my depression. I already feel like I have no future.

[socomsam]

Going to my appointment on Tuesday. Any last words of advice? Anything to prepare myself? Anything I should demand?

Thanks again everyone.