Founder Tbird Posted August 5, 2012 Founder Share Posted August 5, 2012 Thanks, deanbrt... In spite of everyone's advice to try to forget about the claim until there was a decision, I have been so stressed out over this for so long I'm not sure I know how to be otherwise... I don't know if that is pathetic or funny. I will let this soak into my brain eventually. One thing about the ptsd is that it's so hard to trust that things might just be OK with no cause to worry/stress out. (I go to my appointments, and go to a good group with great guys, so I'm workin' on this stuff, and making progress.) This is going to make an unbelievably major difference in my life. I'm smart enough, with some education.... but still have spent so many decades scraping by and feeling like a failure.... and not doing well in work or social situations. My having some breathing room and a chance to take better care of myself and my loved ones is a huge blessing!!! I hear ya! Catastrophic Thinking is how my therapist describes it I wrote a bit about in a short blog here PTSD And That Nagging 1/10th http://ow.ly/cKI18 I think the letters are good news. Much like getting to Carnegie Hall, getting to a non worry place takes practice. :) Tbird Founder HadIt.com Veteran To Veteran LLC - Founded Jan 20, 1997 HadIt.com Veteran To Veteran | Community Forum | RallyPoint | FaceBook | LinkedIn | About Me Time Dedicated to HadIt.com Veterans and my brothers and sisters: 65,700 - 109,500 Hours Over Thirty Years I am writing my memoirs and would love it if you could help a shipmate out and look at it. I've had a few challenges, perhaps the same as you. I relate them here to demonstrate that we can learn, overcome, and find purpose in life. The stories can be harrowing to read; they were challenging to live. Remember that each story taught me something I would need once I found my purpose, and my purpose was and is HadIt.com Veterans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SP4RVN1971 Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 Midnight, that great! Maybe you can take a break or get a break! God bless you and your family! God bless America!!! "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnight340 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Share Posted August 6, 2012 Thanks, Tbird.... I appreciate the comments. Here I am, 5-6 days after finally getting all that I was hoping for. I didn't know what this would feel like, I really had no idea. Well, mostly nothing is different! I know I am in a much safer and more secure situation. I have plans... and I am feeling some relief. But the PTSD does not go away just because this has happened. ....I am, really am, so very grateful!!.... but still have the feeling that something could go wrong at any minute. As I've ventured into dealing with the PTSD after all these years, I can see where the main symptom for many is that lack of trust, of the ability to trust. And that damages the inability to experience joy. So I got my retro, I will have some income, enough to get by OK ...this for the very first time in my life and still I can't find that place in me where I am at ease.... all I have managed to do so far is to buy new underwear and a couple of pairs of jeans. Funny really... So my goal is to try to learn how to be happy. And to try to learn how to trust. See if I can trust the world, trust myself, trust others... at least a little, at least some of the time. hadit.com has been my main support through all this. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inthewind Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 (edited) Wow. This is something I can surely relate to! I was closed on 1 Sept 2012 and show 100% P&T in my AB3 and AB8, but still cannot believe it. I too have issues with believing things that are right in front of my face. I won't see the monthly until the end of September with the effective date being 1 September, but I still keep checking my bank for the retro. Of course, having a snotty VSO tell me not to believe it might have contributed to my highs turning into lows, but I'm hanging onto the hope that she was wrong and someone didn't make a mistake somewhere. Keeping watch with crossed fingers makes it hard to type! Edited September 6, 2012 by Inthewind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkInTexas Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Wow. This is something I can surely relate to! I was closed on 1 Sept 2012 and show 100% P&T in my AB3 and AB8, but still cannot believe it. I too have issues with believing things that are right in front of my face. I won't see the monthly until the end of September with the effective datye being 1 September, but I still keep checking my bank for the retro. Of course, having a snotty VSO tell me not to believe it might have contributed to my highs turning into lows, but I'm hanging onto the hope that she was wrong and someone didn't make a mistake somewhere. Keeping watch with crossed fingers makes it hard to type! It's amazing, and I agree that seeing is definitely believing. Thanks for the information regarding the Case Management number. I found it on here, and will try to call it today and check my own status. Have a great day! Mark USAF Active Duty 1988-1994 Security Police - Law Enforcement Specialist Thank you all for your service to our great nation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinavet Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Congrats. It is always good to see so much support and good feelings poured out. I understand when you talk about the relief and disbelief. Relax. Enjoy everything you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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