My Anti Social Life

[82airborne]

I felt lonely without yall. You guys is my OPRAH WINFREY. I need a place to vent. So here I am. To tell YALL the truth this is the only place where I can express myself. :-)

[john999]

Oh, hey, hey Express Yourself!

The good thing about group therapy is that everybody is vulnerable. Group therapy helped save my life. I met other vets who had severe problems. Some hung in there and some dropped out because it was too close for them, but I learned from them. One Vietnam Vet got mad at me because I would not accept anything good the group said about me. I was so down on myself and so negative. That did change when I saw that others were exposing raw nerves to my judgment and risking my rejection. When they discussed things they had done and their feelings of sadness, grief and fear. This is a big deal for tough combat guys who are killers and have hard guy exterior. They were all suffering the after effects of war. Many lost wives and homes due to their PTSD. They could stand up to bullets and bombs but their personal lives crumbled with drinking and kids and wives afraid of their mood swings. What they want is for someone to listen and not condemn them or judge them or tell them to suck it up.

John

[82airborne]

Oh, hey, hey Express Yourself!

The good thing about group therapy is that everybody is vulnerable. Group therapy helped save my life. I met other vets who had severe problems. Some hung in there and some dropped out because it was too close for them, but I learned from them. One Vietnam Vet got mad at me because I would not accept anything good the group said about me. I was so down on myself and so negative. That did change when I saw that others were exposing raw nerves to my judgment and risking my rejection. When they discussed things they had done and their feelings of sadness, grief and fear. This is a big deal for tough combat guys who are killers and have hard guy exterior. They were all suffering the after effects of war. Many lost wives and homes due to their PTSD. They could stand up to bullets and bombs but their personal lives crumbled with drinking and kids and wives afraid of their mood swings. What they want is for someone to listen and not condemn them or judge them or tell them to suck it up.

YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT. I think one day I will do group therapy again but for now I don't know. I need to get my mind in a better place. Thanx for the true words of wisdom

John

[82airborne]

Well another week down. I have still been pretty much isolated. I only go to appointments and maybe to the store when my gal want to go. I haven't had any confrontations with anybody actually I haven't allowed myself to really get in contact with people. Tonight I try a double dose of my sleeping pills see if that knock me out. The doctor said I could take two instead of one. Ok I have been on Prozac for I guess almost a year. I don't feel no different than when I started taking it. But to tell YALL the truth when I use to close my eyes I would see every dead person I knew that died in a black room and my dead sergeant. I really don't see it as much. I think I'm not wired up no more because I became service connected. Those was some stressful years waiting and waiting. I'm thinking the more I relax and stay away from stress my symptoms SLow up. I want them to m.r.i. My brain see if any changes have toke place in my brain. I would love to understand what is really going on in my head. OOOOH well tomorrow I'm right back at the psychs well hope everybody has a wonderful night.

[82airborne]

Well its another day. I have been still going to therapy. At night in the middle of the night when I wake up IM having vivid hallucinations. I have pretty much been locked down in the house. I have not been put in a position to be angry. I'm wanting to be isolated to another level. All I want to do is avoid all problems. Before I go to sleep its like the shadows in the room is watching me. I know it sounds crazy but THATS the feeling I get. I been seeing floating spiders are a lot of black bugs if I wake up at night. OOOH well its kool I'm getting use to it. My dreams I don't remember them. It's usually like that then all of a sudden IM back down nightmare row. Well THATS whet IM at right now. Inside the house. :-/

[11cvolley]

Well its another day. I have been still going to therapy. At night in the middle of the night when I wake up IM having vivid hallucinations. I have pretty much been locked down in the house. I have not been put in a position to be angry. I'm wanting to be isolated to another level. All I want to do is avoid all problems. Before I go to sleep its like the shadows in the room is watching me. I know it sounds crazy but THATS the feeling I get. I been seeing floating spiders are a lot of black bugs if I wake up at night. OOOH well its kool I'm getting use to it. My dreams I don't remember them. It's usually like that then all of a sudden IM back down nightmare row. Well THATS whet IM at right now. Inside the house. :-/

Does prazosin make your dreams more vivid? I take prazosin and it hasn't really decreased nightmares, but every night my dreams are very vivid and sometimes I can't tell if I am dreaming or not. Pls don't take that med with anything not prescribed, including beer. It can be a total mindf***.

[82airborne]

Prazosin you got to keep upping your dose until they stop. IM at 10 MILLAGRAMs. At first it works for a while then the dreams come right back. I was taking Wellbutrin also prazosin and I my dreams was emotional and vivid like I was watching a movie every dream was sadness. I stopped taking welbutrin and it stop so I don't think it was prazosin it might be the combination of the actual crazy med and prazosin mix. Prazosin seems to black my dreams out when I wake up like I don't remember. What I dreamed about I just know it was a wild night I wake up bleeding sometimes bruises from going crazy in my sleep. Soooo I think you should see if your psych will up your dose of prazosin a milligram until you find the right dosage to erase your dreams